Well Hey

"It’s important to have a sense of occasion, which people have lost. There’s a great book called Sex and Suits, by Anne Hollander. She talks about tuxedos and says if all the men in the room are wearing dinner clothes then instead of making them all look the same it actually emphasizes their differences. I think people really miss that, not formality, but having a standard. It doesn’t make you a victim if you’re wearing a suit and tie."

-The style guy, Mr. Glenn

Schick

I'm starting to have to shave everyday. At first, it made me think about how old I'm getting. But it also made me realize that I'm no where near as mature and grown as I'd like to be. This is definitely something to think about as the new year approaches.

It's Been a Pleasure

I've been in a bad mood lately, and it's definitely been affecting my behavior. I stay very, very quiet, and a lot of the things that I do say are either really negative or come out sounding soooo wrong. I've never noticed myself being like this with a bad mood. It's all really intriguing; it says a lot about who I am and who I'm not. I hope to break out of this slump soon. I know how I am, and I know that I don't like it. Now it's just a matter of what I'm going to do about it.

Vision

Ideally, music artists wouldn't have to be held down by being pressured to release albums/mixtapes. They should release music as they make it. It shouldn't matter that any particular artist is more popular than another. It shouldn't matter who sells more albums. It should all come down to whether or not each particular song is good or not. They shouldn't make music unless it comes to them.

Fanaticism

Music and sports both have things in common with religion. So it should come as no wonder that a lot of people become ignorant when those two are brought up. Many negative qualities that are reflected when religion is the topic of conversation, can be seen when talking about sports and music.

Cutesies

One thing I learned today is that one of my main sources of motivation is my Mom. She is just like Kobe in that she is sooooo dedicated to her craft and her work ethic is unrivaled. Earlier tonight, when my family went out to dinner, she was passing down words of advice about her dedication, her willingness to grow and learn. I've definitely got to keep those things in mind as I move forward and grow as a person.

Another thing I noticed: the weird, awkward way that I tell stories(smiling, random eye contact, distorted/random faces, awkward gestures) can be traced to my Mom. hahahaha

Desire

Lay your head on my pillow
Here you can be yourself
No one has to know what you are feeling
No one but me and you

I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep your secrets
Just think of me as the pages in your diary

Lyrics never look as good on paper as they do when they're being sung. This is some beautiful shit right here, and I was hoping to do it justice by posting the lyrics here, but it just isn't the same.

This song reminds me of some of the benefits of being in a relationship, namely being able to vent to someone who genuinely cares about your wellbeing.

I also miss listening to someone's problems and genuinely caring about them. As shallow as that sounds, I truly don't care about anyone else's problems as much as my significant other's. If it were any other way, I wouldn't be with that person. I do care about other people and their problems, but with my significant other's problems, things get elevated to another level.

When is the last time that you were able to lie down on someone's bed and bitch about all the problems in your life, and have that person give you useful feedback because they really do care about you? And you do this, you bitch and vent because you've given that person all the trust you can possibly dole out.

You Down?

Play me your favorite songs. Then I'll play mine, and we'll battle. Let's battle through other people's music. hahahaha

Time Space Continuum

Musical intolerance is just as bad as religious or sexual intolerance, we just don't know it yet.

This I'm 99 percent sure of. hahaha

Powerhouse

"I'm gonna have to just go ahead and call this boy.
Hello? Can I speak to -- to Michael?
Oh hey, how you doin?
Uh, I feel kinda silly doin' this,
But um, this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox
You know, the one with the braids?
Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time
You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think
And you always order the special, with the hot chocolate
And my manager be tripping and stuff
Talking bout we gotta use water
But I always use some milk and cream for you
Cause I think you're kinda sweet.
Anyway you always got on some fly blue suit
'n your cufflinks are shining all bright
So, whatchu do? Oh, word? Yeah, that's interesting
Look man, I mean I don't wanna waste your time but
I know girls don't usually do this,
But I was wondering if maybe we could get together
Outside the restaurant one day
Cause I do look a lot different outside my work clothes
I mean we could just go across the street to the park right here
Wait, hold up, my cell phone's breakin up, hold up
Can you hear me now? Yeah
So, what day did you say?
Oh yeah, Thursday's perfect, man:."
And it feels like oooo

I miss having these kinds of awkward/shy/"omg i can't believe im saying this" kind of conversations with someone. I always thought they were soooooo much fun haha

Latin

A lot of great thoughts go through my head throughout the course of the day; many of them come flashing into my head, chill for a second, then as quickly as they came, they're gone.

A perfect segue to a quote that's been stuck in my head lately; "Write it all down as it happens, because eventually you become numb to it."

As we are constantly changing, we like to think that we'll never forget the way we felt, the things we saw, the smells we smelled. Unfortunately, we'll only remember a select few things, so as they happen, I highly recommend keeping track of your thoughts. That, along with spurring good, quality conversation, is one of the main goals of this here blog.

Leaving

They say to follow the greats. Follow their mold because they succeeded. No matter how obscure or odd their route, they succeeded in the end.

I think I would keep in mind what the greats did to get to where they did, but I would rather follow what my favorites did to get where they did. The greats may have taken a route and that particular path led them to success, but I wouldn't much enjoy emulating their route. I would much rather take what my favorites had done, mix it all together in a pot, and allow that mixture to be my guide to success.

Feel the Lows Before the Highs

I never realized how often and how violently my mood will change in the course of a day, sometimes even with an hour. It never occurred to me that I might possibly be bipolar. Usually my moods will transition so smoothly that I can barely make out the difference.

I'm currently struggling with fighting to stay with a mood that I felt happy and content with. My body, heart, mind and soul are fighting for a change, while I want to remain in this happy place of mine.

I know the right thing to do is to allow this change to happen. If I don't, then I'll be caught in a conflict with myself, resulting in confusion and a lowering of my overall mood. I need to allow this change to happen, because trying as hard as I am to stay in this mood is ruining the organicness(I just coined that term right now) of the feeling. This results in a false feeling of contentedness(damn im just pushing it now lol) and rarely results in anything good.

I know I need to allow this unwelcome mood in, but I'm trying my hardest not to. My actions aren't following my intentions, and it's confusing the hell out of me.

Unless I had to

A person I hold near and dear to my heart was quoted as saying something along the lines of "Ryan would tell you the truth, ask him."

I know it's not a very exciting quote, but the fact that I was able to gain that person's trust, enough that they would undoubtedly recommend my say on something speaks wonders about the kind of things they saw in me. I wonder if I'm still the same person today that I was then? I doubt so, seeing as everyone changes over time, even if it's ever so subtly. But I really do hope that I never lose some of those vital traits that I would like to have define me as an individual.

Karma

Dear Alicia Keys,
Thank you for making phenomenal music that I can listen to on repeat. I let your music wash over my mind and resonate in my soul, and for those few moments, I escape reality.

I think it's crazy how someone that I've never met before(and in all likelihood, will never meet) could touch me so deeply. It's not even like I gave them permission to penetrate my soul; their music is so powerful and deep that it demands that I allow it into me.

This works for all artists, but this Alicia Keys character is just blowing my mind away at the moment. hhahaha

"You'd Have to Be There to Understand!"

I felt compelled to express to the whole facebook community the love that I feel for Jan Eric Sales, Jherie Erdelyi, Anna Atangan, Nikki Estanol, and Angel Parker. But I thought that it seemed kinda wack to tell all of my facebook friends. I feel that it'll be a little more personal to include them, if only for one post, in my personal blog. So this blog is dedicated to the love that I feel for each of these individuals. I heart all of you, if only for the unique experience that we had tonight.

Unthinkable

The song "Unthinkable" by Alicia Keys is hitting me right in the motherfuckin chops. I don't have words to describe how this song is affecting me. It feels like things are coming around full circle.

Look to the Future

Holy moly, these individuals have me feeling like I'm playing catch up. Time to get off my high seat and get to work.

A Minor Mistake

Note to self: when looking for pea coats, choose the size wisely. You're supposed to pick the smallest size you can get away with. smh, lol.

A Scorpio's Mind

My most prized possession is your girlfriend's heart.

Teach you how to do this, son.

LOL

Tell You Something Part 2

One of the best things you can do in your lifetime is to be the best person you can be. There are many things entailed in that, and it depends on what you want to do and what your values are.

One of the things that you can do to go above and beyond that is to take all that and share it with someone else. One of the best ways to do this is to fall in love. Take everything that you've learned and picked up on throughout your lifetime, and share it with that special someone.

Another great thing to do with your life is to find a way to positively affect a great amount of people. If you could progress the entire human race, that's extra points.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Die, cross your t's and dot your i's

The best medicine is laughter, physical activity, and art.

Lovers and Friends

People who drive nice cars/trucks get a lot of attention and compliments. However, behind the wheel of every car is a person. The car they drive doesn't say much, if anything, about the person behind the wheel.

Same goes for fashion. Someone who dresses nice is often given a better first impression than someone who may not be dressed as nice. However, the person who is dressed nicely can be a total dick, while the person who isn't dressed as nice can be a great person.

Really obvious stuff, but nonetheless, I see instances everyday where this stuff isn't kept in mind.

For example, today in lecture, I overheard a conversation between two dudes; let's call them Jimmy and Timmy.

Jimmy asked Timmy if he knew a guy named Kanye. Timmy replied, "Hell yeah i know Kanye, he drives a nice ass car."

This killed me, because for all I know, Kanye is a great guy, and all Timmy had to say, the first thing that came to mind, was the car that Kanye drove. It wasn't how great a guy Kanye was, or how funny he was, but how nice his car was, that came to mind.

I would haaaaaaaaaaate to have the car I drive or the clothes I wear as the first thing someone mentions about me when I come up in a conversation.

Gobble Gobble

Thought I'd get this quote in before Thanksgiving is officially over.

"I think being together is one of the things people overlook. It doesn't mean as much until you can't have it."

Skywalker

Cheesy movie scenes suck. They can turn a good movie in a decent one, a decent movie into a bad one.

Sometimes, they're so cheesy that they still evoke strong emotions out of me. Take for example, the scene in "Jumper," where that one dude and that one girl get into their hotel room, fresh off their flight, and start making out, listening to that one cheesy song.

Gets me every time. lol

Wonderwall

Focus on women and you get less done.

As a young man, this is a constant struggle for me.

Story of My Life

Alas, these young men, so sure of their beliefs and feelings, boast of their intelligence. They proclaim their thoughts loudly, screaming their ideas for everyone to hear. They do this, so sure that their ideas are indisputably right.

If one is to challenge their ideas, they respond with more yelling and screaming, seeing the rebuttal as a challenge to their intellect(and it is). They fight back furiously, with their screaming and yelling, interrupting their opponent's train of thought. This throws off their opponents' argument, and that split second of hesitation signals to the young men that their opponent has balked, a signal that the fight is soon over, that a quick uppercut will prove to be the deciding blow.

So onward ho, the uppercut comes. Sometimes it's just a simple restating of their argument with a few twists put in. Sometimes it's a questioning of their opponent's authority. Nonetheless, the young men think that this is the final blow; there is no way that their opponent could get back up from this blow.

But their opponent isn't done yet. They didn't get to finish their previous idea; the young man was too busy interrupting the idea for the idea to finish. The opponent completes the idea and is relieved to have been able to get a sentence out without being interrupted. Satisfied that the young man will be reasonable and see it from another point of view, the opponent is content, willing to listen to the young man's rebuttal.

However, the young man has other plans. Unable to comprehend why his opponent is still fighting, the young man turns to dark places. He loses the ability to argue reasonably. He's speaking before developing his thoughts. He's not looking at any other perspective than his own.

Meanwhile, his opponent is still keeping his composure, but is wondering why the young man seems to have lost his ability to argue. The opponent appeals to the young man's sense of reasoning, but to no avail.

I hate how no good ever comes of this.

Mr. Pink

Let's say you were alone with one of your closest friends. Your friend was shot in the abdomen, bleeding profusely. Your friend was freaking out and understandably so. How would you handle this situation? Would you leave them alone and seek out help? Would you, not wanting to leave them all alone, stay by their side, holding their hand, hoping that help would come? What would you say to them? Would you try to console them? What topics would come up? Would you tell them that they weren't going to die? Would you ask them about what their last wishes are?

Tripppppppppppy

Millionaire

I don't think that you can work your personality to its full potential without keeping a healthy balance between your intellect and your emotions. You need to be smart and calculated about yourself. You also need to keep track of your feelings and your motives behind your actions. One without the other can still produce greatness, but an elite level can't be achieved with a good balance between the two.

I personally think that I'm a very intellectual person who can work on bolstering his emotional side. One of my hopes for this blog is for it to be an outlet for me, to function as a sort of vent, to get out my emotional side that I don't feel that I show in real life.

My Reign of Terror

Sometimes I want to scream until my lungs give out. When they do give out, I'll break down and cry. All because I did what I had planned on doing all along, and that was to beat everyone down, to the point that they'll need therapy just to cope with the damage. No one is safe. Watch your mufuckin backkkkkkk

Angels

Music is sooooooo powerful, in more ways than one. So powerful, in fact, that I don't even want to touch on the subject. Maybe you could tell me what you think about the subject? This goes for any of my other posts haha

EDIT 11/30/09:

I just worked my way through a tough day by listening to some good rock music, stuff I could scream my lungs out too. And I'm about to cap my night off by listening to some soothing r&b/jazz/neo-soul. 'Twas a tough day, but music got me through it by provoking and working me through some emotions. This is one of the reasons I am grateful for music.

EDIT 11/30/09:

Over thanksgiving break, I had a really sick family moment with my sister. We were going to the navy exchange together, and we started singing songs together, definitely to the extent of our lungs' capacities. I think that singing together is one of the best ways to connect with another person.

Sartorialist

I wish I could go around everyday and look at the way that different people dress. I see many people who have what I consider great style and it evokes many ideas, many feelings in me. Some of these thoughts include:

How do they afford all these clothes? These clothes don't look very affordable.

Do they always dress so nicely? Do they take days off?

How do people in France dress? How about in Barcelona? England? Bangladesh? How do they dress differently in different seasons?

Who decides what is considered good fashion and what isn't? It's all subjective, isn't it?

Do the people whose fashion sense I like shop exclusively online? In bourgeois ass stores like Burberry, Louis Vuitton, and whatnot?

Can those people hook me up with some hand-me-downs? lol!

No Strings Attached

One of the most important parts of being a good listener is asking the right questions after listening to the story. Asking the right question demonstrates interest and shows that you actually digested the information given to you.

Check, Please.

You shouldn't have to trust too many people with your business. If you need to consult several people about what you need to do next, then you need to take a look in the mirror and decide if you want to be an independent or dependent person. You should solve most of your problems yourself, and if you find yourself stumped, then it's fine to confide in a person you really trust. If you're still struggling, it's fine to consult a select few people. But anything after that and you just look like you crave the attention. Grow a pair and handle your own business.

Such a negative sounding post, haha.

Complex Simplicity

Be skeptical of every piece of information you take in. Question the motives behind why someone is supplying this information with you. Once you're done being skeptical, look for the pieces of the information that could be beneficial to you(most everything has something of value in it). Then read over all of your notes and see what you should take out of it and be sure to take only that out of it. Think about why you left out what you left out.

If you take this approach, and are objectively skeptical of the information presented to you and then look for the "meaty" part of the information, then you have no choice to believe the "meaty" part of the information. You come out with a much better appreciation of the truth than if you had just blindly accepted everything presented to you.

Something

"What if we happen to kiss, then we touch, put a rush on it, get it over with? What if I just know, what you like, and it feels right?"

I think that if by some random chance we were to slow dance together, or even if we were drunk and we kissed, we definitely would hit it off. We just need that one spark, that catalyst that'll start us off right.

Be Careful

I don't really have anything to talk to you about, but I just know that I want to talk to you. We could talk about nothing, for all I care.

Tell You Something

I'll supply you with everything you need to take my heart and shred it into pieces. I'll do this easily, knowing that you would never wish to do harm to me.

This is one of the many things that a great friendship is based on.

Slow Dance

At my cousin's debut, after they opened up the dance floor, everybody was up and dancing, doing the electric slide and whatnot. In the midst of all the uncles and aunties getting their groove on was this young couple. They weren't particularly good at the electric slide or cupid shuffle, but the dj played a slow song and damn, were they gettin it. There were a few uncles and aunties still dancing, along with a couple of circles of people, not yet ready to get off the dance floor. However, the way that this young couple was dancing, you couldn't tell that there was anyone else in the room, let alone on the dance floor. The way that his arms were locked around her waist, her arms around his neck, the way they looked at each other, the genuineness of their smile and laughter, were all things that made me insanely jealous and envious. I know jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, but I can't help but feel that emotion in times like tonight's.

salamat

I'm truly blessed to have such a great life. I feel so lucky to have been surrounded by so much love and positivity lately. Hopefully I can take all of that and turn it into something great.

143, 647

If you have been a part of my life, whether you were a positive or negative influence on me, I'd like to thank you for helping me become the person I am today. Without you, I wouldn't be half the man I am today, and because of what you have done to/for me, I love you, always and forever.

Teedra/Saadiq

Winter's here
And I ain't mad about it
I just wanna lay with you
In the late nights getting warm
We find, less and less time to get together
But that there's whatever
See, tonight is for you and I
Yeah, we gotta take it back tonight

The place love used to be
Is still a part of me
And I'm so fortunate lady
That you still need a piece of me
And I know that you're waiting
See I'm only downtown
You know I roll alone girl
I'm never with a crowd

Rescue Me

Gotta kill this fuckin presentation. Last one of the quarter.

In less than 24 hours, I will be 19 years old. I'm not young enough to know everything anymore.

Today's healthy breakfast consisted of strawberries and milk. Somehow it reminded me of "Inglorious Basterds" and all the French cuisine. I think I'm gunna have some strawberry dish with "la creme" in it somewhere. lol

Love is a Four Letter Word

Damn you have to appreciate the weekly system. It's kind of crazy how it worked out. 5 days to do work, 2 days to relax. Super random, I know, but fuck, without a weekend, we would all be cracked out. Without the weekdays, no work would get done. And I think that 5/2 is a really good ratio of workdays/weekend days.

what the?

Nougatieri

I welcome awkwardness in. Where others run from it, I invite it in. It provides me with a chance to grow and build character. You present me with an opportunity to grow and I'll snatch that shit quicker than snickers(wtf? LOL)

Caution

oh my GOD I'm on some low key shit right about now. I'm in the kinda mood where I grab either a blanket/snuggie(LOL), some hot chocolate/bottle of wine(LOL), and relax/wind down with some smooth, soulful shit playing softly. I would be cuddling with someone, but where you at though?!? Let's fuckin do this already!

I thought I could have it all. Do I really gotta choose?

I've often thought about how my ideal relationship would look like if I had to paint it out on a canvas.

It used to look like this:
Me, holding my girls' hands, looking her in the eyes, her smiling. Our silhouette could be put against any kind of background, because it wouldn't matter what would be going on with the rest of the world, as long as we were together.

Lately, however, my views are sort of changing, and that painting would look more like this:

Me and my girl, leaning over a balcony of a high building, looking down on the world, ready to conquer that shit.

Some good food for thought. Mmm, scrumpschious! lol!

Fear

What am I afraid of?

I don't know. Even if a gun were put to my head, I wouldn't know what to say. I'd probably say something like death? But I don't think I'm really afraid of death. If anything, I'm afraid that I won't have enough time to accomplish everything that I want to in my lifetime.

Loneliness? I don't think I'm afraid of being lonely. I require a lot of alone time. Sometimes I feel lonely, but I know that I won't ever be truuuuuuuuly lonely. I don't think I'm afraid of being alone.

Failure? I don't think I fear failure. I fear not trying. The only real failure is giving up.

Either I'm the epitome of living or I'm too ignorant to acknowledge my fears. This is very troubling haha.

Dope Fiend

Why must everything be so formulaic? If one's endeavor doesn't follow the set formula, why is it already deemed a failure? Whatever happened to being flexible, taking things as they come, and blazing your own path? I'm gunna forgo the stupid formulaic way, and take the way that allows for originality and innovation.

Scriptures

Please excuse my actions, I'm just a little jumpy. It's my birthday week haha.
I need someone to calm my ass down and make me bite my tongue lollllllllll

But uh...

Tryin not to overthink
Only cuz I drove and I dun' had a lot to drink
When I wanted it blue you said we got to paint it pink
and there's pieces of your hair still sittin in my sink
and you still got underwear thats sittin in the dryer
how come everytime that you're suspicious im a liar?
you stand out, i could hear your whistle in the choir
and thats the only reason you're the missus I admire
damn
tell me what im gon' do
since everything that im tryin to forget is all true
me and all your main girls get along too
i would take my last dollar out and bet it on you
you see the same one im missin
is basically the same reason that i became something different
its just that i remember me before
and if you could do the same baby then we'd be forsureeee

Foolish

Fuck responsibility, I could do away with it for a day, right? I'm so happy and high right now, I just wanna soak it all in, absorb it, and ride this shit out, but responsibility calls! Hopefully this is the first of many good highs this weeeeeeek :)

I Was Supposed to Go to Sleep

I've been high for the past 6 hours give or take, singing songs and getting out all kinds of emotions! This is the most relaxing shit I've done in such a long timeeee. I think this is sort of like meditating, except it doesn't require quite as much concentration. It only requires a certain mood(given, the mood isn't always that easy to attain). I would turn to meditation if I needed to gather my thoughts on something, or to reframe my state of mind on things, but if I just need to pass the time and have some mindless fun, I'll take singing my heart out any day of the week :)

On another much more negative note...
I hate to call someone wack outright, but if you can't produce one memorable verse, you are WACK. lollllllll

My Birthday Wish

You, looking me in the eyes, singing Keri Hilson's "Slow Dance."
TELL ME THAT SHIT WOULDN'T BE FUN HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Be On You

I must confess to having a crush on a youtube star. Keshia Lee, if you ever read, this, HOLLA! LOL!

Too Close

There's nothing more sexy than a talented girl doing her thing, and doing it well, with a nice smile :)

The Two of Us

Three cheers for tuning out the world and singing to some music that's really hitting the spot. This kinda shit is really beneficial to the soul. I highly suggest you get up on this, as well. lolllllllllllll

Old school romance?

My Dad used to send my Mom mixtapes of love songs, write love letters to her, and record tapes of him "talking to her" while he was off, deployed to random places around the world. You can call this wack as hell, but I think it's romantic as hell, especially since Filipinos have trouble showing their love/feelings.

I wonder if that kind of stuff has rubbed off on me? If that kinda stuff really is romantic, I hope it has LOL. Have your romantic values been influenced by your parents?

Shiettttttt

I don't want to settle, but unique characters don't grow on trees. How is this going to work out? I'm anxious to see.

On another less personal note, the holidays are in full swing! Cold weather, sweaters, scarves, and christmas music are gettin me into the full swing of things. Happy holidays to you and yours.

Tongue Tied.

One of the most frustrating feelings ever is not being able to find the word you want to say.

Play Ball

When deciding what to wear, many thoughts go through our minds. What's the weather like? What's on the agenda today? Am i feeling good today? Who am I probably going to see today? Am I trying to impress them?

While choosing, keep in mind a couple of things. If you're dressing to impress the opposite sex, don't make choices that the majority of guys/girls will like, choose that the certain Guy/girl you are looking for would like, even if the majority of people wouldn't like it.

Get Your Team In Order, Assembly is Key

Is it more important to strengthen your own competence and independance or to pick who you surround yourself with carefully?

Psychobabble

I'm a firm believer that you can learn a lot about someone by analyzing the way that they play games. Whether it be basketball, football, video games, or party games, you can see a lot in a person by the way that they compete. You can see if people hate to have things not go their way. You can see the way they handle defeat, the way they handle success. You can see their level of humility. This is why I feel like I can learn more about somebody by playing a game with them than most other things, including having a conversation. Most of the time, first conversations are filled with bullshit and fronts(I'm guilty of this, but I'm constantly working on it lol.).

I think this also works, although not nearly as well, with watching movies. Some people are loud and obnoxious, regardless of whether or not other people are trying to enjoy the movie and would rather not hear their random mumblings(yeah, random mexican people at Palm Promenade, I'm talking to you -_-). Some people get way too into the movie, and get way too mad when the protagonist gets knocked down. Some people are trying so hard to not be scared that they don't allow themselves to get soaked into the movie, and avoid enjoying the movie altogether.

I'm sure that there are several other ways to get to know someone without having to conversate verbally with them.

'Ello, Love!

In order to be truly sexy, you need to be the total package. It's not enough to have a nice body, to have a nice smile. You need to convince me that we would have just as much fun having a conversation as we would if we were sexing. You need to convince me that we'd have just as good of a time being quiet and enjoying each others company as we would when we're conversating nonstop for hours on end.
All that time you dedicate to making sure your makeup's right, that your outfit's tight, is a nice gesture, but you need to convince me that you're beautiful regardless of whether or not you pampered yourself up for me.
One thing that is never described as sexy, but imo should always be included in the list, is character. If you seem like a genuinely good person, that catapults you several levels above these other dirty, grimy hoes.
My father died early, so I grew up fast. I'm independent and I need time alone and you need to understand that, and encourage that. You need to be able to argue with me, support me when I'm right, and prove me wrong when I'm wrong.
Our conversations need to flow well. I'm content to let you do all the talking, but I like to think that I'm intelligent and bright enough to contribute a wealth of knowledge to most conversations.
I need to pay for you every once in a while so I can have that false feeling of providing for you. At the same time, you need to prove to me that you're just as willing to provide shit for me.
You need to have a go-getter attitude. You need to not be scared of breaking down barriers, of going against the norm. You need to throw away most everything you believe in when it comes to chivalry and "things that guys/girls have to do."
I'm shy, but I promise you that if you can break down my shell, I'm a really interesting dude.
You need to push me to do extraordinary things, things that I would never do if it weren't for you.
This eliminates nearly every girl in the world, but when I find you, it'll be completely worth the wait.

It's Yours

Yo I find it highly disturbing how I can't fall asleep. I've figured out that the thoughts and trains of thought that run through my mind before I fall asleep are often the most important thoughts I'll have that day. Sadly, when those thoughts are disturbing, it ruins my ability to fall asleep, and the thoughts start to eat away at me lol. This overthinking business is gunna be the end of me, I swearrrrrrrrrrr

stupid facebook

I took one of those socialinterview things on facebook, and it asked me to "describe your wildest fantasy."

I have no idea how to answer this question.

Do Me a Favor

I love women's fashion, no homo. I wouldn't be able to tell you too much about anything, other than I have a great appreciation for it. My appreciation is similar to that of a guy who couldn't tell Brandon Roy from Kevin Durant, but loves watching basketball and appreciates the hell out of it. I'm that guy when it comes to women's fashion.

When it comes to women's fashion, I love summer as much as the next guy. Girls be showin skin like no other, and I think it's fucking greattttt. But I think i enjoy women's fashion more during winter, when they get really creative imo, wearing boots, scarves, jackets, sweaters, jeans, beanies, and a bunch of other things. Damn I love winter. haha

Dammit

Excuse me for the lameness of this post. I know on the lameness scale, it's somewhere between getting wet because a car ran over a puddle while you were walking by, and below having your dog die. I think of random stuff like this when im drunk/high on some mushy love song shiet, but i'm sobering up right now and I can't stop killing myself over how weird I am for feeling some of this stuff haha. But I'm gunna finally relent to my mushy side and post something mushy.

Have you ever held hands with someone and not thought it was lame?

Have you ever held someone and not wanted to let go?

Have you ever opened up to somebody and told them stuff that you were too afraid to tell yourself?

Have you ever wanted to hit someone so hard that you break them in half?

After breaking someone in half, have you been so apologetic and sorry that you felt indebted to them forever?

Have you ever sung to someone, not caring at all that you can't sing to save your life?

Have you ever seen a couple holding hands and gotten jealous?

Have you ever been pissed that you didn't have someone to cuddle up with, drinking hot chocolate, watching a movie with?

Have you ever been hanging out with your amigos, gotten bored, and wished for nothing else but to be with that one other person?

Have you ever actually wanted to know and cared about how another person's day went?

Have you ever had a song remind you of someone you liked, and played that song on repeat for hours, just to soak in that high?

Have you ever looked someone in the eye and felt completely vulnerable? And enjoyed that vulnerability?

Ya kiddin me?

It sucks how you have to stroke someone's ego each time they do something little. Obviously you don't have to stroke their ego, but they expect it to come, and if anything else comes out of your mouth, you're the one in the wrong because you didn't feel like complimenting them.

You should do the right thing everytime, regardless of whether or not you'll get praise for it.

crazy how

Striking up a conversation with someone can make their day, sometimes even their week

du du, du du, du du, du du du du du

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, its warming up your bare legs
You can't deny your looking for the sunset

Lol :)

I'm lying down on my couch, singing and listening to music while playing around with my stupid dog. I look over to my left, and my mom is curled up, reading a textbook about food science, something she needs to read in preparation for something at her work on Monday. This spurs quite a couple of thoughts and feelings from me; most of it anger that I struggle so much, reading even a page out of my textbooks, while my Mom has her career set and she seems to be enjoying reading out of her textbook. But part of me is laughing at the little bit of irony of the situation.

The admiration and respect I feel for my Mother is refreshed.

question

Does progressive=radical? Does radical=progressive?

the worst part about waking up

sick, is that I can't sing taking back sunday songs to the reaches of my heart's content. LOL

Damn

I've gone through such an insane amount of emotions in the past hour, it's crazy. I've felt really humbled, scared, apologetic, sad, mad, disappointed, happy, joyful, angry, and a couple more I'm sure. Sadly, I don't have anything to show for it other than my acknowledgment that I had, in fact, felt these strong feelings and emotions. Hopefully I'll have more to show for it next time this kind of thing comes around.

An Ode to 50's Fashion

I hate to admit it, but I have a soft spot, a vulnerability if you will, for romantic comedies. Especially ones that are accompanied by good songs/soundtracks.

hip hop

One thing I notice from people that I know that I would consider "hip hop heads" is that they have many similar traits. One of my favorite traits about them is a better consciousness about many aspects of life. I'm pretty sure this can be attributed to some levels of hip hop that can definitely be labeled as "conscious hip hop." This is one of the many great things that come from listening to hip hop. However, I see a couple of things that go awry with a few of my hip hop head peers.

One thing that i see that goes wrong is when hip hop heads follow their artists' beliefs, word for word. The conscious lyrics in some hip hop artists' songs have some great meanings in them, but are definitely not always right. This allows for some people to follow some pretty bad trains of thought.

Don't get me wrong, I love to follow some of the words that my artists say, but I make sure I run those thoughts against my personal bullshit filter. Most of it makes it through fine, but I never allow for anyone's beliefs to soak into my belief system without properly running it through my bullshit filter.

I learn a lot about how I feel about matters by comparing my beliefs with others, including artists that I look up to. I'm sure you do too. Just make sure you don't follow everything word for word; compare their beliefs to yours, and pick and choose where you want to change up your beliefs. I'm all for following the same beliefs that your idols have. Just make sure that your bullshit filter is working in tip top shape though.

stuck

Should I study or devote the next hour or so to (insert random hobby here)?

I'm often caught in these kinds of dilemmas. Obviously, the responsible thing to do would be to suck it up and study. However, it's not very often that I'm loose enough to do some things such as freestyle, so if I ever get time to, and am loose enough to freestyle, I cherish every second of that time.

I'm often caught in these kinds of dilemmas, and it gets very troubling sometimes. Do I sacrifice my study time for some downtime? I find myself needing a lot of time to relax and wind down from all the stress and pressure in my life, and I almost never hesitate when presented with the choice between winding down and having fun(like playing a simple video game) and being responsible and doing homework. I feel like playing whatever video game I'm into at the moment helps me keep my sanity, allowing me to relieve some stress and keep my sanity.

If I were to study, I feel like it would contribute to the stress that i already feel, whereas playing a video game or (insert random hobby here) would help relieve that stress. Obviously, i choose the latter more often than not, and it helps me keep my sanity imo. However, it also has consequences, namely hurting my education.

I'm often torn in these dilemmas. School is definitely a major part in these dilemmas, but the dilemmas definitely aren't limited to school. I can only hope to one day develop a healthy balance between these two. I hope to one day be able to handle these situations better, to pick the better option each and every time. Then again, is there a better option? Both options have their pros and cons.

I feel like my head is gunna 'asplode.

I Bet

Soon as we get started makin love goin harder
I hear a.. (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
and as soon as i go deep getting it in then again theres a..
(knock knock) knocking on the wall,
Girl your legs keep shakin,
I swear we breakin our new headboard
(headboard)
and the love we make it
Feels so good girl you know im proud
Lookin in your lovley face
scream my name you do it so loud

I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
I bet the neighbors know my name
my my my...

Take this pillow right here (grab this)
and i know youre so excited
If you bite it they wont hear
and you know juss what we capable of,
When we makin love
So the music gone be loud,
You gone scream and shout
Girl your bodys a problem,
They call me the problem solver
Let phone sit on the charger,
It could ring all night
They can call, they can knock,
and be upset, but i bet

I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin, scratchin, yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
I bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
I bet the neighbors know my name
my my my...

while i be bangin on yo body, they be bangin on our wall
while they dreamin, you be screamin now they bangin on our door
sometimes she call me trey, sometimes she say tremaine
when its all said and done bet the neighbors know my name
sometimes she call me trigga
cause i make her body bust
they might think my name is "oh sh-", i make her cuss

I bet the neighbors know my name
way you screamin scratchin yellin,
bet the neighbors know my name
they be stressin while we sexin
i bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
i bet the neighbors know my name
neighbors know my name
i bet the neighbors know my name
way you screamin scratchin yellin,
bet the neighbors know my name
they be stressin while we sexin
i bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
i bet the neighbors know my name
my my my

the way you scream my name (the way you scream my name)
woah
girl the love we make (girl the love we make)
gone keep on bangin on the wall,
but nothings gonna change
i bet the neighbors know my name

Emblica Officinalis

Writing lyrics definitely isn't as simple as it looks. You would think that it's as simple as "look, there's a bag of rice, let me eat with with some chicken and spice," but it definitely isn't. You've got to take time to develop your thoughts and develop what you really want to say, what you want to talk about. When you create art, you want to be true to yourself while creating the art, and it's such a struggle, because nothing is ever good enough that it could possibly represent yourself.

I could definitely see why some artists get crazy writer's block.

I Feel

pressure, but it's not a negative pressure. I don't see any pressure as negative, only positive.

I never fear a challenge. I only fear dying before I get the chance to try.

Life isn't easy.

Be yourself. As corny as that sounds, when you're really honest, when you're really being you, it's undeniable. Honesty in life is rare.

Study great people and work at it. Denzel Washington still takes acting classes to this day. You can never be perfect or the best. You can always get better. It's all about studying the game and understanding it all.

I don't understand it all yet. I'm still willing to grow. I'm still studying and still learning.

yesterday

I was with a couple of my friends, shopping at target. My friend ended up taking a bike off of the rack and riding it around the store. I shrugged it off, thinking it was really funny and cool. I personally wouldn't do it because I was a little scared of the consequences(no matter how little they might be). I don't think I was really scared of the consequences, I just didn't want to go through the bs that would ensue should I have to face consequences. Anyway, my friend handed the bike over to me and pretty much peer pressured me to ride it around. Not only was I not looking forward to any consequences, but I hadn't ridden a bike in years, so I was definitely hesitant to take the handlebar from him.

I ended up riding around for a couple of minutes, and those few minutes were some of the happiest minutes I've had in a while. It felt so liberating, not only going against social norms, but enjoying something as simple as riding a bike with my friends. I felt so good that I got a little woozy and my mind started blanking out on me. I was fine, but I was astonished at how much fun I was having from such a simple endeavor.

It's these moments that I live for. I can only hope that my future is laden with many more experiences like that one.

wooooo

just say yes not no,
the club is overrated baby lets not go,
lets stay home and burn a couple calories,
fuck the house up and make the maid earn her salary,
yeah I cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast,
they say that nobodies perfect but you look perfected,
i'd really love to be the one you took a step with,
so trust me when I tell you it’d be worth the effort

Saadiq

The place love used to be
Is still a part of me
And I'm so fortunate lady
That you still need a piece of me
And I know that you're waiting
See I'm only downtown
You know I roll alone girl
I'm never with a crowd

I hope they never find out, what they already know, know, know

I wanna go wild'n out like this

My Worst Attribute

When dealing with matters of the past, it's bad to dwell too much on one thought. Dwelling on one thought often leads to overthinking the issue and stressing too much over something that often isn't that big of a deal.

However, it isn't bad to think long and hard about something, especially when done with the right intentions. It's healthy to think long and hard about matters of the past; it's how we develop our values and feelings towards those matters.

I'm often attributed with overthinking matters. My peers say that I worry too much about things that don't deserve much thought. They're probably right some of the time(I would say maybe 1 out of 3 times). I personally think that I keep a decently reasonable ratio between dwelling and overthinking versus a healthy amount of thinking things over.

Don't be afraid to think about matters of the past. As long as you keep in mind what is bad about dwelling on a subject and keep your intentions geared towards growing from those past experiences, all that thinking is healthy for you. Don't forgo thinking deeply about a matter because you're afraid of dwelling on it. I know that I'm constantly keeping myself in check on this matter. Hopefully you are too.

RAWR

My favorite cougar: Michelle Beadle. ohmaigawddddddddddd

Better in Time

I don't know nearly as much as I think I do, nor do I know as much about as many things as I think I do. I've come to the conclusion, not that I don't know shit, but I need to be careful about what I feel like I know for sure, to be more humble about there being a chance that, no matter how deeply I feel about a matter, that there's a possibility that I could be completely wrong.

Apologetic

A good apology has three parts. (a) I am sorry, (b) it was my fault, (c) how do I make it right. Most people neglect the third part and fail to demonstrate sincerity.

Everybody's a Critic

Be careful who you seek for advice, for everyone thinks that they know everything about everything. The fact that you sought them for advice puts them up on a pedestal and they assume that that allows them to assume that they are 100% correct in whatever you seek them out for.

Mushy Love Song

On our first date
We went to Denny's
We saw my grandma there and
She said she liked your spiky hair
I was so shy
'Cause you are such a handsme guy
I liked you all that time and
And now you really are mine

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song

We had the time
We watched t.v. and played K.I.
You are my very best friend
Your dad got a new job and then
You moved away
My car broke down on my birthday
You told me it would be alright
I had to stay the night

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song

Oh, oh, oh
But then you moved across the country
Oh, oh, oh
It's for the best but I'm still selfish me
And we're both sitting all alone
Now I am sitting all alone

We'll make it through
'Cause you love me and I love you
Even though we're eight states apart
I hold you close in my heart

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy...
Love...
Song

yeahhhh

with this cold weather, comes cuddling season. HOLLA! lollllllll

support your artists

with it being so easy to download music these days, many people don't bother buying cds or records or anything. many people download entire albums and mixtapes without a second thought. some of them argue that they download music because they want to preview the music before they decide to invest 15 dollars on an album that might suck, but who actually buys albums anymore? another factor to think about is how much of the money spent on an album actually goes back to the artist(s) that created the music. a lot of that money goes to the record label, the artists' lawyers, blah blah blah; the artist receives little to no money from each individual album sold(girl band TLC comes to mind).

so something that crosses my mind is, how do we support our artists nowadays? if we download our music online, the artist has no clue that we're supporting them. maybe they don't need to know? i dunno.

if we're not purchasing their albums, how would they know that we're supporting them? i'm really curious about the way to truly support artists whose work i admire.

empire state of mind

when you have talent, and you find another talent, and that talent meshes with you, do whatever it takes to collaborate with each other, to prop each other up and make each other better.

choking

props to the choking feeling i get in my neck before i cry. i still haven't cried in a longass time, but i felt it coming close recently.

new interest

i've been doing more growing than usual lately, in terms of knowing what i want in a romantic relationship. i've been learning a lot about what i want in my significant other, and that's also helped me learn a lot about what i like and don't like about myself. i think that everytime i've found a romantic interest, it's acted as a catalyst to the learning and growing that i do everyday. the relationships have acted as stimuli that challenge my ideas, thoughts, and each idea and thought branches out into hundreds more ideas and thoughts. i do a lot more learning about myself when i care about someone else then when i'm single and focusing more on me.

this isn't to say that i'm dependant on relationships; contrarily, i consider myself to be very independant. i've gone most of my life without needing to be in a sexual relationship. i feel like i'm a very competent individual who doesn't need to be in a relationship. however, when i am in a relationship, i think the relationship makes me want to be a better person in every aspect of my personality. i don't know whether to attribute it to my significant other making me want to be a better person or what, but i do know that i like that i'm a better person when i'm in a relationship.

some interesting quotes from songs i've been listening to:

"what if we happen to kiss, then we touch, put a rush on it, get it over with, what if i just know, what you like, and it feels right, then it's over right? what if i don't call you back, prove you right, all this lasts, just one night? maybe we should slow it downnn"

"this could be something, this could be something, this could be something, maybe it's just nothing at all..."

character

one of the things going thru my head today while working on registers at the restaurant i work at.

this is definitely not a perfect idea or ideology or whatever the fuck this is, but this is one of the things that i base my personality off of.

anytime i'm out in public, i try to display a positive attitude, being careful to be as polite and have as warming an attitude as i can. i meet a lot of people for the first time everyday, and i don't want anyone to be under the impression that i'm anything other than happy with my life, because i really am nothing but happy with my life. i have hardships and sources of stress, but compared to many other people, i have next to nothing to complain about.

i get stressed out, but there's no reason for me to take that stress out on other people that haven't had a direct effect on the stress i feel. i try to turn the page on each different person i see. if one person is giving me bullshit, i won't be afraid to show my distaste for that person. but the second that i'm done with that person, i try to go back to being positive. i see no reason to take the stress i have with one person on another person.

i kept thinking about this train of thought while ringing up this lady who was obviously having a bad day. she seemed really tense and stressed out and was sort of taking it out on me, giving me a negative attitude and acting like i was a total asshole douche dumbass. i felt like she had no reason at all to take her stress out on me, and instead should have interacted more positively with me.

i don't want to paint too negative of a picture of random people i serve while working, because there are definitely a lot of people that seem to have stressful shit going on in their lives, yet still find ways to be nice and display a positive attitude with me. i'm talking about people whose children are still growing, being loud and obnoxious. some of those same people are also trying to take care of their parents, who are getting too old to really take care of themselves. i can't help but feel compassion and a great deal of respect for these people who have so many sources of stress in their lives, yet still find ways to be positive about things.

i try to model my life after these people who display great character. when i feel stressed out, i feel like that is the time to be the most positive. it's easy to be positive when things are going great, but it shows a lot more effort and character when you display positive characteristics when things are going downhill.

btw, check out my friend gabby's associated content page! terrific writing that could only be a result of mrs. toledo's wonderful teaching! lolll

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/571174/gabrielle_manimtim.html

singing

I came up with this after a fun session of rock banddddddddddddd.

I don't know what it is about singing that makes it so therapeutic. All I know is, whenever I let all my inhibitions go and sing a song out as loud as i can, I feel like I'm drowning out the whole world. I think the therapeutic feeling has to do with the fact that singing makes you more in tune with your breathing, one of our most basic human functions.

The therapeutic feeling is multiplied when I can relate to the lyrics. I love listening to music that I can personally relate to. At times, I like listening to music whose content I have nothing to relate to(gangster rap for example), but often, I get tired of having to draw the connections and make the analogies that I have to when listening to that stuff.

I think this therapeutic feeling also translates into the feeling that people get when smoking. I've never smoked, but I'm sure that the good feeling comes from the inhaling and exhaling and whatnot.

I have a couple more points I feel like including in this post, but I kinda just wanna go back to playing rock band lol. I'll probably edit them in eventually. If I don't, pick this up with me in a real life convo! I haven't had very many good convos lately lol

some random thoughts.

One of the hottest things to have in a relationship is a shared interest in the same music. I've never had that before, but if I'm ever blessed enough to have that, you better believe that I'll be singing and dancing with her alllll day long lol. Being able to talk critically about music that both of you enjoy is a really cute thing to have.

Is there a better feeling than reaping the benefits of your hard work?

Is the highest level of living being able to honestly say that if tomorrow was your last day, you would go about tomorrow the same way you went about yesterday and today?

A lot of one's thoughts get lost when going from their brain to their tongue when they speak or from their brain to their hand when they write. That's why I have so much respect for great artists who don't lose very much of their ideas when it goes from their brain to their respective art form.

One sign of a great artist is the ability to take something that a lot of people think about, and put it into a way that makes people say, "damn, I've always thought about that, but I've never figured out how to say it."

fjdkslfgsga

I haven't posted here in a while. I haven't really had anything that I really felt like putting up here lately. I haven't had very meaningful conversations lately. I'm not complaining because it's not like those things come around everyday. I did have a conversation with a friend that made me feel like I'm playing catch up with a couple of things in my life. I've never really felt the need to compare myself to others when it came to many things, but with some of the topics we discussed in depth, I listened to her talk about a lot of things about her life and my life that made me want to feel the emotions she described and to experience some of the things she described. hm.

My Cliche "Dear Summer"

Here's a little taste of some of the weird stuff that goes through my head.

With finals here and summer right around the corner, I felt like posting a note on facebook, something like a letter to summer. Now I'm feeling too embarassed to expose this to all of my facebook friends, but I'll let anyone who reads this blog see this funny/awkward side of me. I wrote this a few days ago in a notebook I used in fall quarter as a way to avoid studying for my logic class. haha.

Dear Summer,
I can't wait to see you. It's been almost a year since I saw you. I miss you so. I miss the longer days. I miss the ample opportunities to hang out with friends. I miss all the beach days. I miss all the food. I miss working. I miss having money. I miss the San Diego County Fair. I miss the easy living.

I've grown a lot since the last time I saw you. I've gained a year's worth of education. I've gained a year's worth of life experience. I've learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. I've been knocked off my high horse a couple of times. I experienced a period of sadness that I hadn't felt in years. I also experienced a level of happiness that I had never felt before. I've learned a lot about what it means to love. I've experienced beauty in millions of ways that I hadn't felt before.

Let's make plans. Let's also be spontaneous. Let's have fun together. Let's be bored together. Let's make moolah and spend it on foolish things. Let's also be smart about our money haha. Let's waste hours playing video games. Let's spend time talking about important things. Let's waste time talking about stupid things. Let's complain about wasting time. Let's talk about our dreams and our aspirations.

You never fail in being good to me; let's not let this summer be an exception.

Bleh

After reading over a couple of my posts on this blog, I realized that a part of me dislikes the way that I write on this blog. The structure sucks, grammar isn’t always on point, and there are some random ideas that are just floating around.

I’ll continue to write this way, however, if only to preserve the feeling and emotion that I was feeling when I wrote each particular post. I type up these posts in their most simple and raw form. This results in a sloppy writing style and I apologize for it. Still, I’ll continue to write this way because it’s the way that I feel is best for the way I intend this blog to come out: raw ideas from your average joe.

War

I don’t believe there can ever be peace on earth. People who wish for peace on earth are being all too unrealistic. War has been a staple of human life as long as humans have been on earth. Killing is the most effective way of ensuring your will upon things. If you want things one way and someone stands in your way, the simplest way to solve to problem is not to reason with your opponent, but to kill them.

Obviously, it’s not always that simple, but many wars have been fought over simple arguments. One side wanted it one way, the other side wanted it another way. The side that wins is the side that is more effective at war, a practice that supports killing. To sum things up, the best way to get things to go your way is to be better at killing and war than your opponent.

To further my point, I’d like to pull a quote from one of my favorite books, “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card.

“The Power to cause pain is the only power that matters, the power to kill and destroy, because if you can’t kill then you are always subject to those who can, and nothing and no one will ever save you.”

It all seems so unfair to me, that a very important matter can be decided by something that’s totally irrelevant to the matter at hand. It’s exponentially unfair when killing and war is what decides a very important matter; which side of a matter wins should be decided by what’s right, not by which side has bigger or better guns.
This is one reason I believe America is both beautiful and ugly. We are so safe and secure from foreign enemies that many Americans can focus on many seemingly trivial things, like philosophy, Hollywood, and Myspace. Hell, if we’re being honest, it’s beautiful that I can even have these thoughts and support this blog without having to worry about a bomb being dropped on my dorm, an airstrike on my hometown, my dog stepping on a land mine.

It’s also beautiful that we can be so safe and secure that we can argue about whether or not war is necessary. However, those who believe that peace on earth is possible are subject to those who are willing to go to great lengths to get things their way.

Let’s imagine for a second that there is peace on earth. No human being has to be worry about war erupting and having an rpg shot through their bedroom window. This allows for a great standard of living. Many people are happy.

Naturally, however, there are still many arguments; some trivial, others more important. There would be far too many arguments going on, far too many people arguing for it to not be the case that not one person in the world was willing to go to great lengths, even murder, to get their way. You can’t tell me that everyone on earth is kind-hearted and would preserve the peace. Eventually, enough arguments break out, the wrong person gets angered, and war breaks out. No more peace on earth.

You may say to yourself, “If I were to murder ____ because he opposed my will, I would be convicted of murder,” and you would be right. However, by murdering ____, you also ensured that ____’s will would not follow through. Your will would win over ____’s.

On a more universal scale, if one nation wants things one way, and another nation wants things another way, they either figure out a way to meet in the middle or they go to war. This has been true for as long as humans have roamed the earth.

This all seems so unfair to me, that matters can be decided over something totally irrelevant to the issue. When it’s fact the decided factor in a matter is who is better at killing, to the point that all of their opponents are dead or has signed a peace treaty, it goes up and above the unfairness scale to me.

I truly wish this all wasn’t true. No matter how much I wish it wasn’t true, it has been and will be a truth of the world until a much more sensible alternative comes around, an alternative that in all likelihood, will never come.

Get Familiar

ribrainfood.blogspot.com
some really good stuff from one of my good friends.

7hedejavu.blogspot.com
more really good stuff from another really good friend and her boyfriend. really good blog that makes me jealous that i haven't tapped into my artistic side very much.

forumblueandgold.com
lakersssssssssssssssssssssss

octobersveryown.blogspot.com
drizzyyyyyyyy. all things drake, along with some crazy artistic stuff.

Just a Little Bit

I love listening to “A Little Bit” by Lykke Li, because it is such a true and honest song that reflects a lot about how I feel about love.

A part of me is terrified of commitment. Sticking with one person for an extended period of time is, at best, a terrifying thought. Not that I would go around hooking up with other single people with no strings attached, but I just feel so secure with my life as a single bachelor, that I’m afraid that commitment would ruin that.

I have problems pulling the trigger and telling others that I like them, let alone love them. Lemme put a disclaimer here: I have no clue what love is. I know what love means to me, and I’ve felt it for many people. It’s come in many shapes and forms and degrees, but very rarely has it come in a romantic sense. I know I’ve felt love before, but probably not the type of love that marriages and lifelong commitments are built on.

Another reason I love “A Little Bit” is because of the way it describes the incredible feeling of admitting your true feelings for someone. It’s such a one-of-a-kind experience, an experience that puts one’s character to the test. I’ve found that with many of the girls that I’ve had a crush on, I’ve been to scared to admit to myself that I liked them, when in reality, when I shut my eyes, they were all that came to mind.

I’m confident enough in my competence and philosophy on life that I trust that my life will turn out fine, no matter what circumstances I’m put in. However, I hope and pray that somehow, through all of my triumphs and successes, my failures and low points, that I will find someone that I’ll be able to share those triumphs and failures with; someone to whom I could admit that I truly love, if only a little bit.

Drama

The other day, I was hanging out with a friend, let’s call him Jimmy, at his dorm. We were chillin, listening to music, and talking about how stupid our quiz was from earlier in the day. His roommate Don walked in, and started complaining about his day. Don went on and on about how stupid things are and how life isn’t fair, and ended everything with “Fuck my life.” I found it kind of sad, and couldn’t help but feel compassion for the dude. He just seemed really sad about a lot of things in his life.

After his roommate left, Jimmy complained to me about how annoying it is that his roommate walks in, day after day, complaining about a lot of the same stuff. He said that Don would walk in everyday and tell him how girls are stupid, how professors are stupid, how his family is stupid, and how almost everything is stupid.

The conversation turned into how it’s funny how Jimmy and I go through our lives with relatively no drama, while Don was going around everyday, complaining about how terrible his life is.

I brought up the point that there’s no way that it’s simply coincidence that Jimmy and I have relatively no drama in our lives, while Don seemed to have as much drama packed into one day of his life as Jimmy and I will have this entire year combined. Surely, there has to be something in the way that Don goes about his life that brings all that drama onto himself.

Obviously, there is the chance that it might have just been a particularly bad day for Don, and that by coincidence, all this drama seemed to fall into his lap. But if he seems to have all this drama throughout the entire year, then the chance for coincidence becomes smaller and smaller.

I’m no psychologist, but I think that a little bit of Don enjoys the drama. Maybe he enjoys the attention he gets from being able to complain about his day to others. Maybe he enjoys the bickering with others. Maybe he likes to be in the spotlight. Whatever it is, I found it hard to believe Don when he said, “Gah, I hate being in drama.”

Life has enough drama without bringing more drama onto yourself. So if you ever find yourself becoming something like Jimmy’s roommate, complaining day after day about how your life sucks, maybe you should consider looking deep inside yourself and seeing if you can do anything about it.

Do I believe you?

Many people I’ve come across in my lifetime are very devoted to their respective families. They babysit, do a lot of chores around the house, and most importantly, will defend their family no matter what. This includes, but is not limited to, defending their kin even when it’s clear that their kin is in the wrong.

I respect the fact that one is very devoted to one’s family. After all, some would say that when it comes down to it, all one has in life is family and friends. I personally would do anything for my friends or family, but I try to draw the line when I see that there’s a possibility that my friend/family member could be in the wrong. I try to look at both sides of the situation before weighing my decision on the matter.

That being said, I don’t know if I agree with people that defend their friends and family despite the chance that they might be on the side that was wrong. A few friends that I hold dear to my heart have told me things along the lines of “Of course I’m going to side with (close friend’s name), we’re like bff’s.” I disagree with this approach, because I value justice, order, and doing the right thing over defending my friends and family. Some might call it being cold-hearted, and maybe it is, but I want everything to go the right way in my mind, and if my family or friend made a mistake, then I believe they should be punished just as equally as anyone else. I feel that I shouldn’t support them if they are obviously in the wrong.

I feel like my friends and family are individuals that are only human. Being human, they make mistakes, and should be punished accordingly. Let’s assume that my sister Jamie was taken into custody under suspicion of murder. Naturally, I come to visit her. I ask her if she did it. Let’s say she said “Yes, I did it and I’m sorry.” I would tell her that I’m sorry to hear that she murdered someone, but I am glad to hear that she feels remorse for it. I would have no problem with her being taken away and put in prison for however many years she is sentenced to serving under the laws we live by. Okay, maybe I would have a little bit of a problem(lolll), but ultimately, I would expect her to serve her time.

If she told me that she hadn’t done it and that it was preposterous that I would even question that she could have committed murder, things would be a little different. Knowing that she was in a very tough situation(with all the terrible prison time she would be facing), I would be aware that she has reason to lie to anyone, even me, about whether or not she had actually committed the murder. I would tell her that she has to realize that I can’t simply believe her side of the story without seeing the evidence.

This goes back to me being cold-hearted. I guess I kind of am, but I feel that justice should be served, no matter who is getting punished. For although I would wish for my sister to not have to go to prison, I also realize that the person she murdered also has a family that deserves justice. Whether or not prison time is a worthy punishment is another question altogether, but nonetheless, my sister would deserve the punishment given to her.

Come to think of it, the whole legal system is kind of questionable at times(lol), but that’s besides the point in this blog. The point of the matter is, I don’t know if “family comes first” is always true.

Anyways, that situation is highly situational and in all likelihood will never happen(well, let’s keep our fingers crossed lol.). So let’s bring it back to more realistic terms. Let’s say my friend Edmond was caught up in some stupid drama(again, highly unlikely, I don’t know if he’s ever been caught up in any real drama). Let’s say he called a girl, let’s name her Moesha, a slut, or some other drama-causing statement like that. Moesha’s friend Cristina decides to jump in and try to resolve things by asking Edmond’s friend Justin about it. Cristina asks Justin what happened.

Without knowing any of the facts, Justin passionately defends Edmond. While defending Edmond, Justin is forced to change some of the facts of the story to accommodate his defense of Edmond. This is where a lot of drama snowballs, because facts are changed, and the gossip that spreads changes form. This just snowballs into a much bigger problem then what would have happened had one person simply been objective to the matter and realized that there’s a possibility that their friend/family might be wrong.

Where I'm At

I'm at a crossroads. I choose to live my life very abstractly, sitting back and watching the world. I listen to spoken word and poetry. I like to think. I like to daydream. I like to analyze things.
However, I feel like I'm taking too much time sitting back and analyzing instead of actually getting out there and living life. It's cool to lay down in the grass and analyze different aspects of my life, as well as other people' s lives. But after a while, I feel like I need to go out and do some living myself.

Mormons and Soulja Boy

I'm a big fan of Drake. Drizzy Drake Rogers, Aubrey Graham, Wheel Chair Jimmy, that dude. I love all aspects of his music. I love that he doesn't claim to be the hardest rapper out there. I love that he talks about relationships with women. I love that he doesn't call women "bitches and hoes" and all that. I love that he doesn't talk about guns and the streets and the gutter and the trap and all that stuff. So you can imagine my dismay when a couple of people that I've talked to have told me that "Drake sucks, fuck drake, blah blah blah." It's only a few people that I've spoken to that have hated on my favorite artist, so I'm not trippin too much over it. But I just find it so hard to hate on a dude who doesn't claim to be hard, who does a remix to a santogold song, who can do a rap song like "Ransom", and then switch it up completely and do an R&B song like "Sooner Than Later." All this talk about how Drake sucks got me to thinking about art and religion and a lot of other random stuff that imma try to touch on in this note. Btw, i love writing notes like these. I always seem to get a lot of ideas out this way. haha.

When someone tells me that Drake sucks, I always have to kick it into "try to be as objective in the matter as you can" mode. I try to let go of all the love I have for his music and everything else he does, in order to better listen to what is being told to me. From the few skeptics I've talked to, the main arguments I've heard are that
1. Drake claims to be hard, when he's from Canada and was on Degrassi.
2. He's just another Lil Wayne, with a bunch of metaphors.
3. He's a liar, he doesn't have thousands of dollars to spend on getting "po'd up."

I don't think that Drake claims to be very hard. He seems to take himself pretty lightly, being humble and wanting to avoid confrontation. In a recent interview of his, he was asked how soon he expects to get dissed by some hater. His reply was something along the lines of "I don't wanna be in any beef, I just hope all of us up-and-coming artists just mesh together." He even said that a lot of people are trying to create something between him and Kid Cudi, but he said something about how he respects Kid Cudi, listens to his music, and he hopes they can all just co-exist. I don't see how you can hate on someone who's so humble about his competition. It's like hating on Derrick Rose, even though Derrick Rose seems to be the most humble dude on the face of the planet lol. You would have to have some kind of internal issue to want to create a problem with someone who is so humble.

I don't even know where Drake claims to be that hard. He knows he's from Canada and he knows he was on Degrassi, and it doesn't seem to bother him that much.

I don't even feel like turning this into a debate about Drake. What I really feel like talkin about is music and religion and tolerance. Somehow, hearing someone hate on Drake got me to thinking about those three things. I dunno how, but yeah. haha. Well here goes.

The few people that I've heard hate on Drake all seem to be under the same mold. They listen to Murs, MF doom, Jedi Mind Tricks, Andre 3000, and those types of artists. And I think that they listen to artists like Drake, and compare him to their favorite artists, when they're two completely different artists. They listen to Drake or T.I. or (insert random artist here), and expect to hear really intellectual lyrics. This is where a couple problems arise.

If you're trying to listen to an artist like Keak Da Sneak or Soulja Boy and you're going to compare their lyrical ability to Andre 3000 or Murs or something, then you're just not being realistic. They make completely different music.

Which leads to the question, why the need to compare? Our society loves to compare people who do the same thing. We do it in sports when we compare Kobe and Lebron to MJ. It's done in R&B when Chris Brown and Ne-yo are compared. It’s done in rock, when Pearl Jam and Nirvana are compared. It’s done in Hollywood, with Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman. We compare any chance we get. But I don't understand why we feel the need to compare two different monsters. Why not just kick back and enjoy what they do?

One characteristic that is shared among listeners of the Mos Def's and the Nujabes of the worlds is a very strong passion for the music that they listen to. If you ask them to, they can go on and on for hours about why the music they listen to is the only good music out there, and they can point out millions of reasons why the music you listen to is bad. That same passion for what they listen to reminds me of a passion I see in another aspect of people lives: religion.

I really respect very religious people for finding something that makes their lives have meaning. Religion brings a lot of happiness to people in many different ways. Alternately, there are millions of ways to disprove pretty much every religion ever created. So when I see that someone is holding steadfast to their religion regardless of all the facts against their religion, I can't help but be impressed. There are also millions of ways to prove that certain religions aren't entirely false, but to touch on that topic would take days.

Let’s go back to how music can be tied to religion. In both religion and music, one chooses what to follow. In the case of religion, one chooses what to believe in morally, what to believe as far as our purpose here on earth, and creation myths and other stuff like that. In the case of music, one chooses what they’ll be listening to on that drive to work, or when walking to their next class, or what they’ll dance to at the next party. In both cases, one has to choose what works for them. I like to hope that people make their choice regardless of what others think. Obviously, that’s very unrealistic, but I can dream, right? Lol.

I’m all for being passionate about the music you listen to. But I find it distasteful when one pushes it on others while telling others why the music they choose to listen to is bad. But if someone listens to Soulja Boy and that’s what gets them through the day, then why must you take that away from them, just because you have a different taste in music? If you’re following the comparison between music and religion, you might have already made a connection here. That same passion that most people have for their music is comparable to the passion that Jehovah’s Witnesses have for their religion. And the same way that Jehovah’s witnesses push and push their religion on others while going on and on about why other religions are wrong, listeners of Nujabes and Murs seem to push their music on others while telling others why the music they listen to is bad. I like to call this disdain of other’s music “musical intolerance.”

A good example of the way I feel that people should feel about other’s preferences and beliefs was exemplified in an episode of South park.

Some new kid moved into South Park from Utah. His family happened to be Mormon, and the entire episode was focused on showing why the Mormon religion is based on a very questionable foundation(“dumb, dumb dumb, dumb, dumb!”) The Mormon kid got shitted on the entire episode, being presented with a lot of very questionable aspects of his religion. At the end of the episode, however, he came back at his religion’s critics, saying something along the lines of “Yeah, there are a lot of things that seem to be really stupid about my religion, but my family has a very strong nucleus, I get along with most people, and it gets me through the day easier. So fuck you Kyle, fuck you Stan, fuck you Cartman, and fuck you Kenny.” This is why I love South Park; it’s hilarious and it talks a lot about very relevant societal topics, without being too one sided or coming across as being a know-it-all show. But let’s get back to the Jehovah’s Witnesses reference.

When Jehovah’s Witnesses bother me, I always get the same feeling: “Why can’t you just be tolerant of whatever I choose to believe?” I could understand trying to spread awareness for what you believe in, but do you have to be so damn pushy about your religion? I honestly could care less what the fuck you believe in, as long as it gets you through your day easier. Can’t you give me the same respect?

And once again, like Jehovah’s witnesses, a lot of listeners of very intellectual rap always seem to point out flaws in other types of music while pushing and pushing their music on others. I don’t understand why we can’t all just be tolerant of what we choose to listen to. I remember watching “Yes Man,” a movie with Jim Carrey. I’m sure you know what movie I’m talking about. If not, it’s a comedy where Jim Carrey says “yes” to every opportunity posed to him. But back to the point; in the movie, Jim Carrey encounters a love interest, some random beezy who’s in a band that makes particularly random music. The music doesn’t seem to flow very well together, and seems to go against everything taught in a music theory class. The band played very small gigs, and had the same 5 or 6 followers each show. However, everyone involved in the show, from the band to the groupies, was very passionate and very into the music. I hope that most people, including the passionate followers of intellectual rap, would choose to ignore the fact that these people choose to listen to really random sounding music, tolerating the fact that these people listen to what they want to, regardless of what others think. However, many listeners of intellectual rap don’t translate that same tolerance into tolerance for other types of music.

I don’t mean to bash listeners of intellectual rap. Upon a quick re-reading of this note, it seems like I hate them with a passion when I really don’t. Contrarily, their music is one of the most unique out there. It seems bulletproof, and very easy to defend. It’s hard to make a case for why that kind of music “sucks.” Although I personally haven’t listened to too much of that kind of music, the few songs that I have heard are very enlightening and I can definitely see the appeal in it.

This note is way too fuckin long haha. I have a lot more I want to talk about, but I’ll just end this note with a few questions.

Why the need to compare artists?
Why the need to define who’s “the best?”
How do you define success in music? Is it by amount of records sold? Number of ringtones sold? Number of people dancing to your music? Number of people reciting your lyrics on the way to the corner store?
Why be so selfish about your music? If you find music that you find to be good, why not share it with the world?
Why is there such importance placed on being the “first one up” on something?

Arguing

I love to argue.



I don't like the things that are associated with arguing, like getting heated, yelling, screaming, bitching and all that good stuff. To me, that stuff is the opposite of what arguing is about.



However, I do love the task of taking what I know, comparing it with another person, and combining what we both know to learn something together. It's fucking beautiful if you think about it. I see way too many instances of people arguing in ways that don't aim at getting to the truth and it makes me sad. Again, I believe that arguments, when done right, are beautiful. But when they're done wrong, they turn uglier than a motherfucker.



The purpose of an argument is to get to the deepest truth of a matter. I see way too many people that, when arguing, will push and push and push their position, in hopes of winning the argument, not because their position is really the deepest truth. They care more about winning the argument/proving the other person wrong then finding out what is real. Whether or not this is because they care more about winning or proving the other person wrong, I don't care, but I see this happen for both of those reasons, and it's stupid and selfish IMO. I see this way too often and it pisses me off. I'd go as far as to say that this way of arguing impedes progress and encourages ignorance.



I hate it when people resort to getting heated, yelling, screaming, bitching and all that good stuff when they argue. I know it's a very effective method for winning an argument, but it does nothing when it comes to getting to the deepest truth of a matter. The strength of an argument should be in the merit of the argument, not in who can yell louder.



I guess I could group interrupting someone during their argument with that last paragraph. haha. that shit pisses me off too. When I argue, I try to stay as calm as possible, listening to the other person's argument, premise by premise, all the way to their conclusion. In my eyes, when someone interrupts someone they are arguing with, it just makes the interrupter look bad because they can't even hear out the other person's argument. They have to resort to interruption because their argument just isn't strong enough to stand alone. They need to supplement their weak argument by interrupting their opponent's train of thought. If your argument was really that strong, you wouldn't have to resort to stupid shit like yelling and interrupting. The sign of a great arguer is the ability to listen calmly and patiently to an
opponent's argument, without interruption, and then calmly arguing why their opponent is wrong and then presenting his/her own argument.



Imagine this: you're watching two people argue. One is yelling and screaming their argument, face redder than a dog's dick. The other is sitting there calmly and actually listening to their opponent's argument. They patiently wait their turn and then present their argument, just to be interrupted mid-sentence by their opponent. Who looks bad in this situation?



The other day, I was in an argument that turned sour. I saw two people, I'll call them Carl and Junior, arguing passionately over a matter that I considered trivial. They were arguing about whether or not every leader in the Roman Empire was called Caesar. They started yelling, so
I decided to speak my mind, telling the two how they were wasting their time getting heated over a stupid argument when there are much bigger and more interesting things they could argue about. I brought up misogyny, something I had learned about in class that day. Carl and
Junior decided to drop their argument and attack me, saying that history was very important and that I was being stupid trying to change the argument, or something like that.



This is where something went wrong. Carl and Junior thought I was arguing that history isn't important. At this point, a third party, who I'll call Jack, jumped in and contributed to the argument that I was stupid for saying that history was worthless. Together, they proceeded
to lecture me about the importance of history and that I was being ignorant and something something something.



Now, that was not even close to what I was trying to point out. If I were to say that history isn't important, I deserved to be stoned to death point blank period. History is very, very important. I was simply saying that arguing over whether or not rulers were given the title of "Caesar" is almost trivial when you consider other matters in history that they could argue over instead. They could take that passion that they had over the "Caesar" title and use it to argue over what really led to the fall of the Roman Empire and whatnot. I'm not a big history buff, nor am I very well read on history, but I think that it would be a lot more fun and a lot more interesting to debate about.



But they kept telling me that I was wrong, and I kept arguing that I wasn't. The difference is that they were yelling, screaming, and interrupting while I was sitting there, patiently listening to their arguments. Eventually, Carl told me to "Just drop it. You're outnumbered."



I think I kind of digressed with that example. lol. But the point I wanted to bring up is that losing an argument should be based on the strength, or lack thereof, of your argument, not on whether or not you are outnumbered. I believe that when you are alone in your argument, that is when you should push harder. Not harder in the sense of yelling, screaming, arguing, interrupting, bitching and all that good stuff, but in the sense of gathering some courage and stating why your
argument is right, no matter how much you are outnumbered. Imagine if everyone gave up arguing when they were outnumbered. I can't think of any examples off the top of my head right now, but I'm sure you can think of an example of someone who was outnumbered but stayed
persistent and succeeded in their endeavors.



I also hate it when people say that someone needs to "just drop it." This just screams out that they are running out of arguments to make and it shows weakness IMO. I never like to "just drop it," because it means that no conclusion was made and the only thing resulting from these types of arguments is hatred and resentment. I actually love it when someone brings up an argument I had with them a while ago, and tells me what they thought I was wrong about. I have no problem admitting that I'm wrong. I'm only human and I love to admit my mistakes. I love to show that I'm not perfect, and I love surrounding myself with people that know that they're not perfect either. This leads me to another point.



I love it when people, when presenting or joining an argument, will tell everyone involved in the argument straight up what they do and do not know about the argument. It shows humility and that they don't care about whether or not they are right, but that they want to expand their
knowledge and find out the truth of the matter. That humility lightens up the mood and starts the argument off on a light note, whereas going into an argument assuming that you are right will only lead to bickering and bantering and stupid shit. Seriously, next time you find yourself presenting an argument, try to sound as humble as you possibly can. You'll find that your arguments flow much more smoothly and have a much more light-hearted tone.



Being humble actually works with almost everything, but I digress lol. The Lakers-Celtics game is on soon, so I'm gunna try to wrap this up.



Argue the right way, and I guarantee you'll come out of the argument feeling INFINITELY times better then you would if you argue the wrong way. Having two people come together, debate on stuff they've picked up on in life, and coming out of the argument with a better understanding of the matter than they did before is seriously, a beautiful ass thing. I hope I stressed the beauty of proper argument enough haha. It really is a sick ass thing to watch when two people argue and come out of it better off then when they went into the argument.



If you disagree with me on any of this, lemme know. Let's argue about it lol

25 random things about me

I dunno why I want to put this up here, other than my hope that it'll help you get to know me better. Some of these 25 random things are about a few of the important people in my life, and some of them are random thoughts.

1. I get a lot of thinking done at parties. All of the stuff that i have here is stuff that I thought about while at a party/kickback earlier tonight.



2. Brian Jones is that dude that I grew up with. He's seen me at my lowest and my highest. He's got to be the funniest dude that I know. The little inside jokes we have have to be the funniest things ever. He goes to college at Cal State Dominguez Hills but I'm pretty sure we'll always be close, even though we are almost polar opposites. If I get married, he would be candidate number one for my Best Man.



3. Janet Cantada knows me better than anyone. I'm trying my hardest to think of anyone that I've opened up to more, but I just can't point to any one person who knows me better. She knows my strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, views, and I can trust her with damn near everything.



4. Spencer Farmer and I used to be the closest dudes ever. We were bff status, no homo. Although things have changed, I won't ever forget how tight we were senior year and summer 08.



5. Yves Lapada is one of the realest dudes I know. I was kind of weary of rooming with him up here in Riverside; I thought he'd be coming back to the dorm drunk and high every night, being annoying as hell. I was surprised when I realized that I had him all wrong in my head, and he's
much more on a real level than I had him pegged before we roomed together.



6. Nicole Cabotaje and I were really close for a long time. She captivated me with her unique style and attitude. I'm really grateful I met her and got close to her. Btw, I owe her a bottle of some kind of alcohol. lol.



7. Travis Smith is one of the realest people I've met up here in Riverside. I really don't know him too well, but I can't help but respect the way he carries himself. His humility and sense of humor are traits that set him apart from a LOT of people. hes a really cool dude and if he does move back home after this year, i wish him the best.



8. Allana Griffin. DAMN. What can't I say about this girl? lol. Her craziness, unique personality, pretty smile, and interesting blank were enough to get me to sing Jonas Brothers songs to her in front of a bunch of people. gah. LOL. shit didn't work out the way I planned, but i really appreciate what we had, while we had it. it was one of the greatest feelings i've ever felt.



9. Nikki Estanol is someone that I secretly admire. She's got this willingness to be adventurous, this ability to loosen everyone up, and to be the life of the party; all of this I'm insanely jealous of. I don't her too well, as far as her beliefs and views and all that good stuff go, but she's a really interesting person that you probably already know. If you don't know her, chances are you know someone who knows her and you'll probably see her around sooner or later.



10. Christian Gines was one of my best high school friends. We met on the bus and we just really hit it off haha. We've spent COUNTLESS hours together, playing smash, eating, partying, having him cut my hair LOL. We've got this really cool respect for each other, and we really need
to hang out soon haha.



11. Michael Phetsanghane is one of the coolest dudes I know. He joined UC late, but we got really close, and he's seen me at a lot of my lows and highs. I really appreciate him cuz although I don't think he realizes it, he's there a lot when I need a friend. He's the guy that I always end up hanging out with when I don't really want to talk about something, and I'd rather just go on with life.



12. My sister is a big influence on my life. Not really in the sense that I try to follow her like a role model, but she affects a lot of my decisions. I'm sure she doesn't realize that she does, but she has a real profound effect on me. oh yeah, and i dunno why, but I always find myself texting her whenever I'm at a party. haha.



13. My mom and I have the REALEST parent-son relationship EVER. her and my dad had this really good balance when it came to parenting me, and since he's gone, she's done a TERRIFIC job raising me. it was rocky at first, understandably, but she gives me a lot of trust and leeway in
almost everything, and I make sure not to make decisions that betray that trust. If I ever do something great with my life, I'll owe a lot of the credit to her.



14. Although my dad passed away when I was 11, I swear that he did a really good job raising me. He punished me when I deserved it, never let me have it easy, and taught me many things. One of the biggest things that I appreciate from him is the frequent trips we took to the
Philippines. He made sure that my sister and I understood our family's humble beginnings. Those trips to the Philippines taught me a lot and I hope he knows that his effort wasn't in vain.



15. Edmond Basilan is one of the biggest reasons for who I am today. He's kept me really sane and down to earth since I met him. I actually got close to him once my dad passed away, so I owe him a lot. He's always cracking a funny joke and I won't ever forget a bunch of the
times we've shared and the inside jokes we crack.



16. Raemon Ilagan is another one of the homies from back in the day. We've gotten off on a bunch of real ass talks and he fits the description for perseverance. He gets put in a lot of weird situations, but he makes the best of them and I admire him for that.



17. I wish Lil Wayne would go back to the days that made me admire his creativity. I know he has a lot of haters, and I don't understand why. I don't like a lot of the stuff that he does now as much as the stuff he's done previously, but he's really unique in the way he goes about things.



18. A shitload of people hate on soulja boy, and i can see why. he's not what people are used to, and his lyrics aren't as thoughtful as a lot of hip hop artists. but he does make good music. he's not afraid to be different from the crowd, and that's ultimately what being an artist is about, isn't it?



19. I find it funny how a lot of people who hate on soulja boy, lil wayne, and a lot of popular hip hop music are the same people that, when confronted with hate on their favorite artists, say "why hate?" i don't like the hypocrisy here. if you're gunna ask "why hate?" when it comes to your favorites, why not ask urself the same question when you hate on another artist? in the end, art is art. it's not like math where you can quantify things and there is a set answer. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are many ways to measure success in art. For example, an artist who sells a lot of albums is considered successful. However, there isn't a set way to decide what is good and what is bad when it comes to art. Learn to appreciate that different people appreciate different things. You hating on one person's preferences is equal to if they hate on your preferences, and nothing good ever happens when someone "hates." If you see something that tickles your fancy, then more fuckin power to you.



20. I didn't give up anything for lent, I didn't get an ash on Ash Wednesday, and I don't plan on fasting on fridays or any other religious days of obligation.



21. I gotta say, parties aren't really my scene. I don't like to drink or smoke, so I end up being a wallflower. Even when I do drink, I never really feel a buzz. I hate how there's a lot of peer pressure at parties. It never really has an effect on me, but it sucks for the
people who let the peer pressure get to them.



22. I want to learn to speak well, like Barack Obama. Or the The Rock, for that matter. lol. I should take an oral communications class. I also wanna learn to organize my thoughts better. I feel like I'm all over the place too often. Take these 25 random things for example. I'm
so all over the place haha



23. I'm not a big fan of holidays. Religious holidays make sense to me, but they turn into things that aren't even close to what they were intended for. and i don't feel the need to take out a day to celebrate my mother, my father, my significant other, my birthday, or anything. i should appreciate those things everyday of the year.



24. I've come to really appreciate finding a significant other. Finding someone that just clicks with you and who you really are is a BEAUTIFUL ASS THING. Finding that person that loves you for who you are and what you aren't is such a hard thing to do. There's a shit load of people
out there, but there's only a few that will really have chemistry with you. And even then, the timing has to be right for both of you. So I've come to learn that when you do find someone who does have that chemistry with you, you have to go HARD at that bitch and do whatever it takes to make shit work. real relationships dont come very often haha.



25. I've never been really big on drinking, smoking, or any of that stuff, to get my highs. I'm pretty sure a high off smoking weed is different from the high I get from a good conversation. They both have their pluses and minuses. I know it's easier to take a puff from a cigarette, to drink alcohol, to smoke weed, then it is to wait for a more natural high, but I love that pursuit of a natural high. The time between my highs make me miserable sometime, but that time makes the high all that much more enjoyable. Besides, where do you draw the line when it comes to getting high by drinking, smoking, or anything like that? If I told you that sucking a giant dragon's dick would make you higher than you could possibly imagine, would you do it? A lot of the argument for smoking and drinking and whatnot depends on where you draw the line for what you'll do to get your highs.