Being single is fuckin sickkkkkkkk. It's cool seeing cute girls around and imagining me, being all slick and suave, chatting em up, getting their numbers and getting to know them better without being "held down" by another girl I'm in a relationship with.
On the other hand, however, it's just as tight, if not more, to be in a relationship with someone who will change my mindset from "Damn, that girl's cute, it'd be cool if I were able to get her number," to "Wow, that girl is cute, but there's no way she's as cool as the girl I have right now."
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
living for today
Often times, I struggle with meeting people for the first time. I think it's because first impressions are full of awkward first time conversation. "Where are you from? What school do you go to?" Blah blah blah. I guess the goal of first conversations is to find something you have in common, but I'd rather find out what you are all about. Instead of finding out what we have in common, I want to know what makes us different, what sets you apart from everyone else, what makes you you, what makes you unique.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Push the Button, Pull the Trigger, Climb a Mountain, Jump Off a Cliff
Arguing against yourself is a very good exercise for bettering yourself. You can figure a lot about the way you argue this way. You can also find out a lot about your values this way, as well.
Next time you make an argument, think of what kind of counter argument you would make against your own argument. Push both arguments as far as you can, and see where you are and are not willing to concede. It's a very fun exercise and it helps a lot as far as self evaluation goes.
Next time you make an argument, think of what kind of counter argument you would make against your own argument. Push both arguments as far as you can, and see where you are and are not willing to concede. It's a very fun exercise and it helps a lot as far as self evaluation goes.
This is a Fucking Joke
Let's say you had a skill that you were so good at that you were one of the best in the world at that particular skill. Let's add that you performing this particular skill had the potential to help progress the entire human race.
Are you obligated to perform this particular skill? If you don't, then you're slowing down human progression. If you do, you could possibly help billions of people.
If you are obligated, is it a moral obligation, a social obligation, or something bigger?
Would you fault yourself for not performing the skill, simply because you didn't feel like it?
Are you obligated to perform this particular skill? If you don't, then you're slowing down human progression. If you do, you could possibly help billions of people.
If you are obligated, is it a moral obligation, a social obligation, or something bigger?
Would you fault yourself for not performing the skill, simply because you didn't feel like it?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Upon Further Reflection
I'm a very stubborn person. I'm not too stubborn to ignore facts or to go and not listen to someone who's obviously right. But I have noticed that there are times, probably more than I'd like to admit, that I'll have an idea, and be so convinced that my idea is right, that instead of looking at the actual merit of an opposing argument, I'll just assume that it's wrong.
This all came about when I was thinking about how I went about my day today. I took two naps, one of which was the best nap I can remember having. I considered the pros and cons of taking so much time to sleep during the day. I came up with two differing views.
One said that it's perfectly fine to be taking these extended naps. If my body calls for extra time to rest and recuperate, then so be it. Do whatever it takes to keep your body in good shape.
On the other hand, these naps are wasting time, and time is precious. I still haven't been actively looking for a job, one of my few goals this quarter.
I'm going to have to keep this in mind as I move forward.
This all came about when I was thinking about how I went about my day today. I took two naps, one of which was the best nap I can remember having. I considered the pros and cons of taking so much time to sleep during the day. I came up with two differing views.
One said that it's perfectly fine to be taking these extended naps. If my body calls for extra time to rest and recuperate, then so be it. Do whatever it takes to keep your body in good shape.
On the other hand, these naps are wasting time, and time is precious. I still haven't been actively looking for a job, one of my few goals this quarter.
I'm going to have to keep this in mind as I move forward.
Say What's Real
I'm gunna have this kind of focus, attention, and dedication in a couple of years. Quote me on that.
Overrated
Gah, I'm a little peeved atm, because I had a really good post in mind while I was in lecture today. I forgot to write it down, and now I doubt I'll ever be able to remember the exact words I wanted to say. It was all so eloquent, too. Damn shame.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
More Confidence and Less Fear
I've been obsessed with my mood for the past couple of months. My goal is to be more in tune with it, to be aware of it and to be able to use that to my benefit.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
If You Don't Know Me By Now Part Deux
I think if I were to go to a psychologist to get psychoanalyzed, he/she would definitely find some insecurities. Things that, if the psychologist pursued, could make me go crazy and break down, to the point that I might need therapy.
I'm sure everyone has their own personal demons, but I've never realized how much this bothers me. I want to face up to these things.
I'm sure everyone has their own personal demons, but I've never realized how much this bothers me. I want to face up to these things.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
It's Weird, Man
You accuse me of being inconsistent, but I see it as me being variable and adaptable. I'll adapt to different situations with the fitting response. All I know is that you can't argue with the results.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Well I Can't Regret
You know how you might be close with someone for a while, then not hang out with them for a while? The next time you see them, you'll tell them about what's gone on in your life in the span of time that you haven't been in contact. You'll tell them that that's pretty much all that's happened.
Only, that's only half the story. They never got to talk to you as those things happened. They never got to get a sense of just what kind of mood you were in. They didn't get to hear the way the words came out, the way your face contorted as you told the story, the exact words you would use to describe the stories as they happened.
Only, that's only half the story. They never got to talk to you as those things happened. They never got to get a sense of just what kind of mood you were in. They didn't get to hear the way the words came out, the way your face contorted as you told the story, the exact words you would use to describe the stories as they happened.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Invention vs. Revision
Taken to the extreme, invention is straight up creation. No holds barred, no rules, just anything that comes out.
Revision on the other hand, is completely rule based. You take what you created, apply some rules to it, and edit it until it comes out nicely.
Obviously invention sounds much more enticing than revision, and it is. But don't go foolishly thinking that we should do away with revision altogether. It's very much a necessity. While inventing, we're revising things as we jot it down/sculpting/what have you. If we were to do away with it completely, we'd be dealing with nothing but mess.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
If You Don't Know Me By Now
I think a big thing that we all have, but never really realize, is this button in our heads, that we press every time we take in something unpleasant.
Hearing someone critique your every action? Hit that "terminate button."
Listening to someone you care about tell you how much they hate you? Hit that button.
Listening to something that's making you feel really uncomfortable? End it and hit that button.
Whenever I feel uncomfortable, whenever I'm thinking of something and it starts to hurt, I always want to hit that button, tune everything out, and go into idgaf mode.
I try to challenge myself to use it less and less often, but it's a very daunting task, because that button is so useful. No one wants to be hurt. No one wants to feel uncomfortable. So we use the hell out of that button, and it works. But by tinkering around with how and when we use it, we can use it as a tool for personal growth.
Hearing someone critique your every action? Hit that "terminate button."
Listening to someone you care about tell you how much they hate you? Hit that button.
Listening to something that's making you feel really uncomfortable? End it and hit that button.
Whenever I feel uncomfortable, whenever I'm thinking of something and it starts to hurt, I always want to hit that button, tune everything out, and go into idgaf mode.
I try to challenge myself to use it less and less often, but it's a very daunting task, because that button is so useful. No one wants to be hurt. No one wants to feel uncomfortable. So we use the hell out of that button, and it works. But by tinkering around with how and when we use it, we can use it as a tool for personal growth.
I Don't Wanna Wait Until the Storm
Ah I forgot to post about this as it happened. Nonetheless, here I go.
A few weeks ago, it was raining, and I noticed that I would go out of my way to avoid being hit by the rain. I would run from building to building, awning to awning, and cower under the saftey of my car, just to avoid getting wet.
Not that big of a deal, I know, but I remember in the past, I enjoyed getting hit by rain. I would purposely slow down and take time to allow the rain to hit me. I would find it funny how people would be so scared/whatever of the rain, while I was enjoying the hell out of it.
Now that I've turned into one of the people that I would laugh at, I want to go back. I feel like I've lost a little bit of my innocence, my youth, and I want to go back to those times. I know that just because I was avoiding rain doesn't mean that I've lost that innocence, but I take it as a sign/symbol, and now I want to change.
A few weeks ago, it was raining, and I noticed that I would go out of my way to avoid being hit by the rain. I would run from building to building, awning to awning, and cower under the saftey of my car, just to avoid getting wet.
Not that big of a deal, I know, but I remember in the past, I enjoyed getting hit by rain. I would purposely slow down and take time to allow the rain to hit me. I would find it funny how people would be so scared/whatever of the rain, while I was enjoying the hell out of it.
Now that I've turned into one of the people that I would laugh at, I want to go back. I feel like I've lost a little bit of my innocence, my youth, and I want to go back to those times. I know that just because I was avoiding rain doesn't mean that I've lost that innocence, but I take it as a sign/symbol, and now I want to change.
It Would All Mean Nothing
I struggle with the concept that "some things are better left unsaid." I like to think that you should be as open as possible about all matters, and I try to follow that lifestyle. But I've noticed that there probably are some things that, although they are intended to bring positivity, would be better left unsaid.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Won't Wait Til It's Too Late
I'm on the tail end of a very unique mood, and I can't help but wish I had a more artistic outlet than this blog. You know how a lot of great art comes out of artists dealing with very specific, namely crazy, moods? I wish I were a gifted painter, just so I could paint something while in that very specific mood, so that I could look at what I painted, at a later point in time, and sit back and admire it.
But at the moment, time is moving slowly, I've found the two songs that are really hitting the spot, my breathing is on point, and I'm actually into studying for this sociology class.
Tok Tu Eyu Laitor
But at the moment, time is moving slowly, I've found the two songs that are really hitting the spot, my breathing is on point, and I'm actually into studying for this sociology class.
Tok Tu Eyu Laitor
I'm Beside Myself
One thing that always makes me feel better is helping others. I'm kind of curious about the whole dynamics behind it. If addicts get better through helping others, then it must be legitimate.
Casper
In my creative writing class, I was assigned to do a quick "50 things about me" list. These are normally sorta boring to me, but I came up with some really cool stuff, imo. Btw, I'm planning on putting more stuff up from this class, seeing as we have so many assignments
1. My full name is Ryan Malit Manalili
2. I was born on November 20, 1990
3. I was born in Paradise Valley Hospital in San Diego, California
4. I attended Mary McLeod Bethune Elementary
5. I attended William H. Standley Middle School
6. I attended University City High School
7. I am currently attending school at the University of California, Riverside
8. I have a dog named Teddy
9. I’ve worked the past two summers at a restaurant in Sea World San Diego
10. I have an older sister named Jamie
11. My sister was named after my father Jaime
12. I was originally going to be named after my mother Pancita, but my parents decided that Pancito wasn’t a very good name for me
13. My father died of acute myeloid leukemia when a month before my 12th birthday
14. I’ve had one girlfriend in my lifetime
15. My personal blog is located at tonightsaspirations.blogspot.com
16. I am a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers
17. I am a fan of the San Diego Chargers
18. I am a fan of the musician Drake
19. I own a Mytouch 3G
20. I drive a 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS
21. I received a speeding ticket for going 110 mph
22. My video game of choice right now is “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2”
23. My favorite movie at the moment is “500 Days of Summer”
24. My favorite song at the moment is “My Turn” by Basement Jaxx
25. The last time I checked, I stood at 5 foot, 9 inches tall
26. The last time I checked, I weighed 186 pounds
27. My favorite tv show at the moment is “Jersey Shore”
28. I have a soft spot for romantic comedies
29. I’ve never cried over a movie
30. I’ve cried only once for as far as I can remember
31. My nickname at the moment is “That guy rye rye”
32. I feel like I can relate to dragons
33. If I had to name my biggest source of motivation, it’d be my mother
34. I love women’s fashion, especially during winter
35. I was asked to describe my wildest fantasy, and I had/still have no clue how to answer
36. I’m a firm believer that you can learn a lot about somebody by playing/competing with them
37. One of the most frustrating feelings I’ve ever felt is the feeling I get when I can ‘t find the words to say
38. I like to freestyle in my head in my free time
39. I’m terrible at math
40. I love philosophy, sociology, psychology
41. I don’t think I’m very artistically inclined, but I like to think that I can very much appreciate art
42. I can’t think of anything I’m afraid of, but I wouldn’t be someone that you would describe as fearless
43. I enjoy feeling awkward with friends/people in general
44. One of the biggest things I look for in a good listener is the questions they ask after receiving information
45. Sometimes I’m convinced that I’m bipolar
46. I enjoy picking apart arguments
47. My parents are both immigrants from the Philippines
48. I want to learn the German language
49. At the moment, I am a level 29 on prestige level in “Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2”
50. If I had to, I would label the group of kids that I hung out with as “semi-cool Filipino kids”
1. My full name is Ryan Malit Manalili
2. I was born on November 20, 1990
3. I was born in Paradise Valley Hospital in San Diego, California
4. I attended Mary McLeod Bethune Elementary
5. I attended William H. Standley Middle School
6. I attended University City High School
7. I am currently attending school at the University of California, Riverside
8. I have a dog named Teddy
9. I’ve worked the past two summers at a restaurant in Sea World San Diego
10. I have an older sister named Jamie
11. My sister was named after my father Jaime
12. I was originally going to be named after my mother Pancita, but my parents decided that Pancito wasn’t a very good name for me
13. My father died of acute myeloid leukemia when a month before my 12th birthday
14. I’ve had one girlfriend in my lifetime
15. My personal blog is located at tonightsaspirations.blogspot.com
16. I am a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers
17. I am a fan of the San Diego Chargers
18. I am a fan of the musician Drake
19. I own a Mytouch 3G
20. I drive a 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS
21. I received a speeding ticket for going 110 mph
22. My video game of choice right now is “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2”
23. My favorite movie at the moment is “500 Days of Summer”
24. My favorite song at the moment is “My Turn” by Basement Jaxx
25. The last time I checked, I stood at 5 foot, 9 inches tall
26. The last time I checked, I weighed 186 pounds
27. My favorite tv show at the moment is “Jersey Shore”
28. I have a soft spot for romantic comedies
29. I’ve never cried over a movie
30. I’ve cried only once for as far as I can remember
31. My nickname at the moment is “That guy rye rye”
32. I feel like I can relate to dragons
33. If I had to name my biggest source of motivation, it’d be my mother
34. I love women’s fashion, especially during winter
35. I was asked to describe my wildest fantasy, and I had/still have no clue how to answer
36. I’m a firm believer that you can learn a lot about somebody by playing/competing with them
37. One of the most frustrating feelings I’ve ever felt is the feeling I get when I can ‘t find the words to say
38. I like to freestyle in my head in my free time
39. I’m terrible at math
40. I love philosophy, sociology, psychology
41. I don’t think I’m very artistically inclined, but I like to think that I can very much appreciate art
42. I can’t think of anything I’m afraid of, but I wouldn’t be someone that you would describe as fearless
43. I enjoy feeling awkward with friends/people in general
44. One of the biggest things I look for in a good listener is the questions they ask after receiving information
45. Sometimes I’m convinced that I’m bipolar
46. I enjoy picking apart arguments
47. My parents are both immigrants from the Philippines
48. I want to learn the German language
49. At the moment, I am a level 29 on prestige level in “Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2”
50. If I had to, I would label the group of kids that I hung out with as “semi-cool Filipino kids”
Sunday, January 10, 2010
How Bad I Wanna Be There
I don't give you the time you deserve from me. This is something I know, I know, I know.
Last Thing on My Mind
Find little things that are unique about you and that you like about yourself. Then keep pushing those things until you become a very unique individual. We have no option but to conform to many things, so those few unique things about you become very valuable. It's just as beneficial to conform as it is stray from the norm, but more often than not, it's much more fun to be different.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Right?
I don't tell you what you want to hear. So it peeves me when you turn to the person that will tell you what you want to hear, even if it's not what you need to be hearing at the moment.
/emo rant
/emo rant
I'm About to Break All the Rules
But don't tell anybody :)
What do I find comfort in?
What do I find value in?
Reality is objective; it exists regardless of what we do or do not think.
"I don't feel comfortable in my own body."
You had to be there to understand. So let me put you there.
What do I find comfort in?
What do I find value in?
Reality is objective; it exists regardless of what we do or do not think.
"I don't feel comfortable in my own body."
You had to be there to understand. So let me put you there.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
College Dropout
Say what you will about Kanye West, but he is a tremendous artist. The artistic decisions he's made and continues to make are fuckin craaaaazy.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
can you work without a second for some fun
quick to do list:
get a nickname
go rock climbing
Picnic basket
American X
big ass blackboard/whiteboard
La jolla children's pool
birch aquarium
go to venice beach
golf
panda inn
six flags
acoustic guitar
get a nickname
go rock climbing
Picnic basket
La jolla children's pool
birch aquarium
go to venice beach
six flags
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