Sunday, December 29, 2013

Trophies

I'm gonna learn to play the trumpet so that me and a friend can play the trumpet and drums part to songs like drake's "trophies" or kanye's "all of the knights"

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

It's The Beginning Of Forever

Recently, a Kanye interview from like 2003 or something was making its rounds around the internet. It was awesome. Everything about it was so awesome; what he was wearing, his honesty, just the way he was answering the questions. There were some quotes from there that ended up on the end of "Last Call."

And the reception was awesome. People were saying how he was just brutally honest, funny, outgoing. Much more willing to answer questions back then compared to how he is now.

What stuck out to me, however, was the amount of people saying "man, the guy hasn't changed one bit since then. Same guy since day one."

While that might sound awesome, that it looks like he's stuck to his guns, morals, and ideals, I'm not so sure that that's what Kanye was aiming for. I know it isn't what I would want to hear if I were him.

What I would want people to say is, "Wow, it's so interesting to see that there are some similarities between what he was like back then and what he's like now. The honesty, the smart answers, the comedy, it's all there. But you can still see that he's changed, that he's grown. He's not exactly like he was back then. He might have some similarities, but he's obviously learned from his experiences and used those experiences to change and grow."

That's what I want people to say about me when they see anything from my past, whether it be pictures, video, or even my blog posts. I want people to see some things and shake their heads. I want them to see other things and say, "Wow, you had that quality from an early age and you've worked so hard at what you do."

I really hope no one can look at me and say that I haven't changed one bit. I want them to say, "Wow, you really changed, but in a good way."

Monday, October 21, 2013

Ivana

I want my kids to go to college away from home. I want to have kids when my wife and I want them, and not a minute sooner. I want my dog to play catch with me in the waves. I want to retire early with enough money to travel. I want to travel now, while I'm young and without too many obligations. I want to make my mom proud. I want my mom to take care of her grandkids. God, would she be an amazing grandmother. I want to dance with my mom at my wedding. That would probably be one of the most intense moments of my entire life.

These are a bunch of my life goals. Nothing too crazy, nothing too outlandish. I'm aiming high with a few, setting the bar low with others. But these are the things I wish to accomplish in my life. I have no doubt in my mind that, with a little bit of luck, I can do all these things. And if I am lucky enough to achieve all of these things, I would have lived a full and complete life, in my eyes.

Everything else is just a minor detail.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Look yall

Drake, Phoenix, daft punk, Justin Timberlake, asap Rocky, Mayer Hawthorne, all dropped GREAT albums this year. Hell, Tyler the creator even dropped a secretly great album this year! Chance the rapper dropped a classic mixtape...Fuck, there's probably dozens of other albums/mixtape that I haven't gotten a chance to listen to that are probably dope as hell. I haven't listened to anything the weeknd has put out since the trilogy. Maybe his album was good. I dunno, either way, 2013 is such a good year for music. We just need a new Frank ocean and Adele album and we'd be set! We's hongry out here on these streets!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

We Keep These Promises, These Promises

A good album will have you sitting there, pondering all kinds of shit. Thinking about choices you've made in your life, both recent and in the far past. It'll have you thinking about where you wanna go, what you wanna do in the future. Got you asking yourself, "Will I be happy? Damn, am I even happy right now? Maybe not, I guess I gotta fix things."

Sometimes I'll listen to a favorite album of mine and just zone the fuck out, thinking and feeling all kinds of different shit. I can physically feel my brain working and being stimulated. I think it's more or less the same feeling I would get when I used to try and meditate.

Looking at it this way, I think you could say that a good album really is like a drug. It alters your thought process and has you thinking and processing things in a way that's different from when you're sober.

I wish I could watch video tape footage of me when I get into this zone. Do I look like I'm high? Do I look like I'm tripping off acid? Or better yet, do I look normal as hell? That'd be awesome because that'd mean that you wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at me that my mind is going 100mph in every direction.

I dunno. All I know is that I feel so alive when I get into this zone

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Eyes On You

I forgot the password to my college email. That's crazy. It's been that long, eh?

I was gonna email a soc professor I had, telling him that I'm working as a welfare worker in Lemon Grove, California. It's the same area that was featured in "The Lemon Grove Incident", a movie/documentary he had shown us in class about one of the earliest court cases in America regarding school segregation. He had shown us a film about racism right in my backyard. It gave me chills back then to learn about the history behind an area literally a handful of miles away from my home; now I wanted to get back to that professor to let him know that I'm working IN that area, helping people in need.

But alas, looks like I'll never get that satisfaction. Me forgetting my email login credentials is gonna prevent me from telling that professor what I'm up to nowadays. Come to think of it, I don't even remember the professor's name. And I wouldn't even want to go through the trouble of looking him up, though I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard of a search. Yeah, I think I'm good off all that haha

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

And it was you

It's really interesting what people stress in their identity. There's certain aspects of a person's identity that they're quick to share with others. You can tell this by what people talk about and how they talk about it.

That's why I think it's really interesting what people choose to talk about. They can talk about billions of different topics, but they choose to talk about that exact topic. The fact that they talk about it means that they place value in that topic

Monday, August 19, 2013

I love tall evergreen trees. I would love to be in Connecticut for the fall/winter.

But I bet a lot of people would trip out if they got to see Palm trees in summer like I do here.

I guess the grass...I mean, the trees are greener on the other side! You get it? The trees!? Nvm, I'll show myself out

Sunday, August 18, 2013

I Think There's Something

You ever just sit there and write and write without proofreading? You wanna go back and delete stuff and format things differently to make everything flow better? Well I've kind of just said, "Fuck that," I might end up fucking everything up. Besides, I wrote it, so it has worth. No need to delete things!" I dunno, maybe it's just laziness. I wanna say it's a way of forcing myself to live with what I write. Yeah.

Just Hold On

Alrite lemme give you an example of "attitude vs. behavior." It's a concept I think about frequently. I tried very hard to make sure that my attitude and approach towards things is pure. More than that, I try to make sure that my behavior reflects my attitude and approach. What sense is it to have pure intentions if you don't act on them?

So I used to be a fuckboy dickrider of The Weeknd. I would listen to "Trilogy" religiously. My roommates hated me for how loud I would bump his music on the daily.

And I still listen to Trilogy often. But a lot of what he's put out since then hasn't really resonated with me, and he sort of fell off as far as my musical preferences go.

I wondered why I let that happen. I'm a big believer in sticking with your favorite artists regardless of what direction they're going in. I liked Kanye's 808s and Heartbreak because it was different from what his fans expected. A lot of people stopped liking him and moved on. You could see that they were fans of the music, not of the artist. And that's fine. I stuck with it because I knew that there was a place for that kind of music. He could make the kind of music he did pre-808s because he had that side of him, the 808s side. You've got to accept a person for everything they are. Some people didn't, they only liked the music. And that's fine.

Cut back to the Weeknd. His music sort of fell off to me. And that's fine too. Another thing I believe in is that above all, artists need to FORCE people to check out their work. Make such a good product that people HAVE to see what's going on. And the Weeknd just hasn't done that for me lately.

His album comes out sometime soon. I'm so disinterested in his work at this point that I don't even care to look up when it'll come out. But I do hope that he'll surprise me and FORCE me to check out his product. Lord knows he had me HOOKED.

You Act So Different Around Me

You ever sit there speechless, with sobering music playing? Normally the song is cool background music but this time it's different. Each chord strikes you a little more than it usually does. It feels like you're absorbing the music. You've got a lot on your mind, hence the speechlessness. so you're stuck between the music and whatever's on your mind. I dunno. I really don't y'all.

That's the mindstate I'm in 90% of the time I write in this blog. And you motherfuckers best BELIEVE I look back and cringe like CRAZY at half the shit I post on here :(

Monday, August 12, 2013

Saturday, August 10, 2013

She do that thang for three retweets

One thing I see a lot of is people who gloat mainly to belittle others and justify themselves. They post on social media sites about their accomplishments because they need everyone to see what they're doing. They need to tell the world/be told that they're doing well. They need the justification that dozens of likes will provide.

I think a better route to go is to avoid that altogether. Be content with knowing that you're pretty enough, smart enough, that what you're spending time on is something worth spending time on. You shouldn't need other people to justify your actions; self approval and acceptance should be more than enough for you. Being content with yourself is worth so much more than outside justification. I think if you're truly happy with yourself, you don't even need much outside justification. It acts merely as a bonus.

"But wait, I post the stuff I post to motivate others! I post my gym pics to show that if people work hard enough and are dedicated enough, they can get like me! I post about me getting a job to show that if people work hard enough, they can get a good paying job with benefits!"

That might be how it starts, but once you get that first comment that lets you know you're doing all right, that shit becomes a crack addiction. Each post you make becomes a plea for more and more comments and justification.

If you truly post solely to motivate, I challenge you to make it so you can't view how many likes you get or what the comments say. The only challenge then is to avoid becoming vain and a showoff. A braggart.

But this is getting a little preachy so lemme switch it up one time for you fools...REMIX!

Why I don't have an Instagram, I don't know. I really don't. Girls willingly post provocative pictures of themselves. Bikinis, dresses, short shorts, anything you could imagine. Why a straight, sexually functioning male like myself isn't on Instagram? Why wouldn't I wanna be a part of something that awesome? I really have no idea. Lol

And while I'm on the topic...yesterday a buddy of mine told me I need to get an Instagram because it's the best way to see what everyone's doing every day.

The thing is, I don't gives a FUCK what y'all do every day! I don't care what y'all eat, drink, I don't need to be updated on what your daily routine looks like! Fuck outta here! And to you motherfuckers who justify your vanity posts with claims of motivating others, I say to you, "I don't compete with y'all motherfuckers! The only competition I see is myself, ya hear!?"

Yakh yakh yakh! Bangbangbang skeetskeetskeet!

Yippee!

Slippy like its Freudian, kill you like kevorkian, bring you back to life and put you right back in the morgue again!

Yeah!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Let it all work out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF8okFt4bGg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

No Help

Friday, July 19, 2013

How's It Supposed To Feel?

When medical examiners do autopsies, they often see scar tissue on the corpses they're working on. The scar tissue is often from years, even decades ago. So they probably see scars, marks, bruising, stuff like that, from all throughout the person's life, right?

Keep in mind, I'm remembering this from something I read some time ago. It might not be true that this is a thing. But if it is, that's really kinda poetic, isn't it? Even though the body is dead, it still tells SO many stories. I've always thought that it'd be kind of interesting to know, postmortem, stats from my life: random things like how many people I consider strangers that I've actually seen multiple times before, how many times I farted throughout my life, things like that. But I guess there sort of is something like that, and it lies within my body.

Trippy shit, man!

Monday, July 15, 2013

Wandering Eyes

What values have your parents passed on to you?

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Cocoa butter skin

I just wanna live my quiet, simple, and humble life

Sunday, June 9, 2013

YEAH BOY



Holy moly. Taik Mai Muhnee

Monday, May 27, 2013

Fuck All The Faculty

I think maturity doesn't seem to come until you're not ready for it. Throughout my entire life, I've wondered, "when will I feel like a mature, grown ass adult?"

I wondered about that when I was in middle school. I told myself, "okay don't worry, soon you'll be old enough to drive. With that privilege comes a lot of maturity." But when the day came that I got my driver's license, I didn't feel any more mature; I just felt like 13 year old me with the ability to get around town.

I wondered about it when I was in a senior in high school, driving around in my new car, spending money I was earning working 8 hour shifts at a restaurant in Sea World. Part of me felt older and more mature, but it wasn't what I imagined. In my mind, I was still 13 year old Ryan Manalili, just with some money and a car.

I wondered about it while in college. It's cool being away from home with a bunch of other kids my age, but I still felt like 13 year old me, mingling with other 13 year olds with no adult supervision. It hasn't exactly been what I look for as far as maturity goes.

There's been no point in my life that I can point to and say, "yeah, that's the point at which I became a mature, grown ass man." Maybe that point will come when/if I get married and have kids(Who am I kidding, chances are I will end up getting married and having kids. I just like to think that I'm not bound to that life, lol).

With no direction in one's life, one has no choice but to become mature. I'm sure kids graduating from high school with no idea what to do feel the same way.

There Are No Normal People, Just Different Kinds Of Weird

Editor's note: I had to go and release a post from the depths of the "tonight's aspirations" vault on you hoes! It's crazy to see how I wrote as well as what I write about years ago.

     I'm soooo jealous/envious of people who "have game." Being able to meet someone and instantly be capable of making them laugh, smile, or otherwise loosen up and reciprocate the interest is such a great talent to have.

"Having game" typically means that the person can go to a party, pick out someone they're interested in, and find a way to get what they want from them, be it a number, a kiss, or even all the way to sex. It could be through use of flattery, jokes or any other number of strategies. No matter the strategy (and people who have game have all kinds of strategies), results are had.

Unfortunately, I don't really think I have game, at least in the typical sense of the word. I've never had much luck getting at girls I've only just met(hell, I don't even know if I've ever even tried before, lol).

And I'm all right with that. My game, if I even have any, is much more of a slow play. Instead of hooking up with a girl the night that I meet her, I opt to try to get her out to lunch so that I can get to know her. This way, I can gauge who they are as a person and what they're about before we swap saliva, lol. This also makes it so that I don't end up with an experience with beer goggles. (Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, because that shit is fucking HILARIOUS.)

One of the reasons I've been hesitant to get at girls I've only just met is that I really have no idea who they are and what they're about. For all I know, they could be a complete bitch. Maybe they give off a good first impression and are good at meeting people for the first time, but aren't as cool once you get to know them better. It's for this reason that I hold off really "getting at" any girls until I see something more than what is given off on a first impression.

Maybe my approach sucks, maybe it doesn't. It filters out girls who aren't really into who I am, and the only ones that remain are girls who are genuinely interested in who I am and what I have to offer.

When Your Bitch Break Down My Weed One Time

It's hard to refer to things I learned in college classes without sounding pretentious. Most of the times that I've heard people talk about things they've learned in their classes, they do it in a way that comes across as "I'm so cool and knowledgeable about this subject. Look at me." There's been a few people I've come across who are good at referencing their studies without coming across this way, but they've been far from the norm.

That being said, I took a lot of classes about gender, sexuality, male, racism, social problems, blah blah blah a lot about social issues and attitudes. It's resulted in me learning a lot about equality and attitudes towards many different kinds of people. Despite differences in our political beliefs, social beliefs, sexual preferences, age, etc., one thing that's resonated with me is that we are still more alike than we are different. My approach towards others, no matter what their outward appearance is, is the same; I look at everyone as a friend and treat them as such. It's resulted in me learning not to "judge"(god, do I hate that word) others. I feel like *high horse warning* being in those classes has made my approach towards some issues radically different from the norm.

For example, yesterday I was at the beach throwing a frisbee back and forth with my girlfriend. A 9 year old kid asked if he could join in and of course we obliged. We ended up playing frisbee and soccer with Jerry, a 9 year old Mexican American kid for an hour or two. It was actually really fun, aside from the kid having ENTIRELY too much energy for me.

Afterwards, however, my friends made a lot of half-hearted jokes about me being a pedobear for hanging out with and playing with Jerry. They've told me that it was weird that I played with him, even if I got permission from his parents, who were hanging out with their other kids right next to our tent.

I think this says a lot about the state of how we approach kids. There was a time when, as an adult, you could play sports outside with a kid you just met without any fearing any kind of being the butt of pedobear jokes. There was a time when playing frisbee with a kid like Jerry was just something awesome that happened to you.

But now, with how general attitudes are towards the security of our children, a 22 year old male can't hang out with a kid, even in broad daylight at the beach, without looking like a pedophile.  Although the jokes were more or less half-hearted, the intent was obvious. My friends made it clear that playing frisbee and soccer with a kid you just met isn't proper behavior. If there wasn't a general attitude that it isn't proper behavior to play soccer with a 9 year old kid you just met, then my friends wouldn't have made those jokes; they wouldn't have even brought it up because it would be a non-issue.

During my times in my sociology classes, I found myself questioning just how often some of the scenarios presented really happened in real life. Some situations sounded so radical and obnoxiously fake that I just shrugged them off and continued on with the assignment.

But being a part of a real life scenario has colored my experiences in those classes as much more real. Whereas I didn't give it a second thought when little Jerry wanted to throw the frisbee with us, anyone else would have resisted because of the implications of being seen as a pedophile.

This is the part of the post where I stop being objective and start being subjective.

I think it's terrible that I couldn't play soccer with Jerry without being seen as a pedophile. I seriously didn't give it a second thought when he asked if he could throw the frisbee with us. I hate that the general attitude towards kids is that you don't look at or speak with them or else you risk looking like a pedophile. I wish I could say that I believe in being part of the solution and not the problem, and that's why I played frisbee and soccer with Jerry. But the truth is that I didn't give it a second thought because I didn't see it being wrong at all to throw a frisbee with a kid in a park full of people.

I hope that by the time I start raising my kids, the general attitude is that it's perfectly fine for kids to interact with strangers. I want to be able to encourage my kids to socialize with people of different shapes and sizes without fear that their new friends will abduct them or have any other kind of evil intent. I hope that my children will feel comfortable with approaching strangers, else they risk developing a weird fear of strangers.

Aside: One of the things that bugs me the most is that soccer is my favorite sport because of how it unites people of different races, religion, nationality,(and in this case) age. Sports should unite us, not divide us!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

You Shmell Me?

"I just don't want to see you hurt."

-Someone giving advice

Fuck this attitude though! Let me get hurt. Let me make mistakes! Let me fuck up. That's how you learn. Fucking up is a part of life. Don't shelter me from feeling any kind of temporary discomfort just because you want me to be perfect. Let me make mistakes so I can learn from em, you shmell me shun?

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Together, To Be

If I were an artist, I wouldn't want some big, grandiose marketing campaign. I would simply want my art to speak for itself. I would want my art to be so good that I wouldn't need a marketing campaign. I would force people to look out for my art, at the risk of being out of the loop. My paintings, my music, whatever the medium for my art be, would be so great that people would have no choice but to keep an eye out for me.

Somehow this also applies to one's personality. One should have so many outstanding qualities that people have no choice but to enjoy their company

Hey Y'all

Man lemme tell you what. If this isn't "home alone, music turned up, dancing by yourself" music then I don't know what is

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Have No Problem To Say No

How ya feeling? Ya feel alrite? Ok let's work.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Nothing In This Nonsense

I've never felt overwhelmed with my social life. But to me it feels like if you asked each of my friends if I've been a good friend lately, 80 percent of them would have reason to say that I haven't been the friend I usually am.

The worst part is that I don't even feel like I've had enough time for myself. I'm really frustrated with myself right now. But I'm gonna work on things and things will be fine in due time.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Got Me In Trouble Again



One day, when I finally make that romantic comedy/drama (which will be a total ripoff of 500 Days of Summer), this will definitely be in it

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

MaƱana

Would you have all of Michael Jordan's accomplishments if it meant that you had to be an asshole like Michael Jordan? I'm not so sure that I would. I know it sounds like some holier-than-thou, "I'm so pure" BS, but I really would be disappointed in myself if I were to become an asshole. Blah

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hang On to the Things That You're Supposed To Say

I have no idea how many people told me (some explicitly, mostly implicitly) that getting a degree in sociology was a waste of time. Hell, some people even said that having a college degree was worthless.  But the ones who told me that there wasn't a market for people with sociology degrees bothered me. College classes are hard, especially when you're taking classes you're not passionate about. I had found a discipline that I found especially interesting. But fuck me for following what I'm passionate about, right? I should have gone after a degree in something that I wasn't passionate about, so that I could find a job in a field that I wasn't passionate about, right? BLAH!

Part of me wants to take the high road and not speak of how much adversity I faced. I *should* simply keep on keeping on, doing my best to be happy. *Insert quote about how the best revenge is being happy.*

But fuck that! I worked too hard(as well as being INCREDIBLY lucky and fortunate) to not sit here and be proud of myself for taking all those shots thrown at me. So this is me, lashing out at those critics on my personal blog that only maybe a handful of people will ever read.

FUCK YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR FEELINGS HOMIE IMMA DO ME!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I'm Obviously Too Young of A Guy

My name is Ryan Manalili and I've been broke for all of 2013. In a few days that'll change. I worked hard for this shit. Fuck your thoughts AND your feelings, bruh!

Los Angeles

I think one of the most important lessons you can teach someone is how to take a loss. They should be able to listen to criticism (even unfair criticism) and react to it with nothing more than a smile. They should listen to it and accept it without being indifferent to it.

You could tell me to my face that I ain't shit and I wouldn't mind at all

Have You Ever Ever Ever Been Depressed So Bad

Sunday mornings when I reach a calming peace. Soulful music in the background, and I'm not doing shit but thinking

Yahoo!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Human Services Specialist

Today marks the beginning of the rest of my life

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Don't Hold The Wall

I hate it when people complain.

But that's me complaining about complainers. What does that make me? Lol

Friday, March 8, 2013

Salute

Every second you spend bitching, whining, and complaining is a second you could spend working towards a solution

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Calling Me Yelling



I want to go all hipster hater on this, talmbout how it's such a blatant ripoff of Mayer Hawthorne.

On the other hand, JT does do this shit pretty fuckin well. And I fuckin LOVE this music video

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Still I see no changes

It's crazy how much we let those closest to us get away with. Our friends and family have (what we see as) the craziest beliefs. Be it politics, religion, or social practices, the people we hold closest to us can absolutely be, unbeknownst to us, the kind of people we despise

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Tweetdeck

Cooking brunch on a Saturday morning with Passion Pit blaring in the background is goddamn amazing

Monday, February 4, 2013

Wake Me On The Way





I'm going to recreate this with you. Yes you

Monday, January 28, 2013

Keep on walking now

I'm gonna marry anna kendrick one day

Sunday, January 20, 2013

That's Just How I Feel

un tiempo mas, the best gift you could give someone is the time and effort to sit them down and listen to them.

MAKE THAT LANESWITCHDOE #sandwich

Saturday, January 12, 2013

A Lot Of Great Response



Jamie XX, Stacey Barthe, and Alicia Keys. Jesucristo

Monday, January 7, 2013

Norwayyyyy

The first person you talk to about an event has a huge amount of sway in how you see that event; even more so if you still don't know how to feel about the event.

Let's say you just came back from a date and you're telling your best friend about it. You're still not sure if it was a successful date. You're still unsure if you're willing to go on another one with that person. Your best friend hears you tell the story of how things went down and offers feedback(both verbal and nonverbal). This feedback is huge because even though they weren't there to witness the date, your best friend is helping shape your view on the event and more importantly, whether or not you wanna pursue things with your date.

That's fucking HUUUUGE. It's crazy how someone who wasn't even there can have such an influence on how things progress

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Jeraflu


Politeness and empathy is the key to all human interactions.
Don't use "being honest" as an excuse to act like an ass. Being polite and honest are not mutually exclusive. If you say things like "at least I'm not bullshitting you" or "I just say what I feel" to excuse bad behavior, you are doing it wrong.
Being "nice" to people and having manners isn't being fake. It's being an adult.
Also, women are people too. This seems obvious, but I think a lot of young men don't seem to realize the way they are behaving reflects that this isn't something they are aware of. They aren't a mysterious race of creatures that are all conspiring. They are individuals, shaped by predisposition and life experiences just like you. Treat them like they are just like you. Not like an obstacle to be overcome.

Confident people who operate from strength let the other person go first, give them a break, help others out, etc., in the same way that the fastest runner gives the slower guy a head start. Fearful (and/or not too bright) people fight to secure every advantage for themselves.

The Comment section at Reddit never phails!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Siemens furniture?



Ivana go to a jazz club ahora

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Don't Worry About What You Aint Got

I don't deal well with cynics and pessimists. I like to think that I'm a very positive, very optimistic dude. Too much pessimism and cynicism and I get all fidgety

Followers

Blog Archive