Fuck All The Faculty

I think maturity doesn't seem to come until you're not ready for it. Throughout my entire life, I've wondered, "when will I feel like a mature, grown ass adult?"

I wondered about that when I was in middle school. I told myself, "okay don't worry, soon you'll be old enough to drive. With that privilege comes a lot of maturity." But when the day came that I got my driver's license, I didn't feel any more mature; I just felt like 13 year old me with the ability to get around town.

I wondered about it when I was in a senior in high school, driving around in my new car, spending money I was earning working 8 hour shifts at a restaurant in Sea World. Part of me felt older and more mature, but it wasn't what I imagined. In my mind, I was still 13 year old Ryan Manalili, just with some money and a car.

I wondered about it while in college. It's cool being away from home with a bunch of other kids my age, but I still felt like 13 year old me, mingling with other 13 year olds with no adult supervision. It hasn't exactly been what I look for as far as maturity goes.

There's been no point in my life that I can point to and say, "yeah, that's the point at which I became a mature, grown ass man." Maybe that point will come when/if I get married and have kids(Who am I kidding, chances are I will end up getting married and having kids. I just like to think that I'm not bound to that life, lol).

With no direction in one's life, one has no choice but to become mature. I'm sure kids graduating from high school with no idea what to do feel the same way.