Can't believe I got her out here cooking dope

I'm probably gonna regret this later, but I wanted to write down some of the things I'm feeling.

Music sounds better when you're smitten. Songs that normally sound like cheesy and corny love songs turn into the soundtrack to your effing life.

I get frustrated when I want to find love songs that fit my mood but can't find anything that really hits the spot.

Everyday I get so excited to talk to you. I go back and reread the conversations we have just to experience those emotions again. 

I write down things that I want to ask you about.

I'm happier with you than I ever was when I was single. When I'm single, I hover around the 90, 95, 100% happiness range. But when I'm with you, I reach this extra bit of happiness that pushes me to 105, 110% happiness. Being with you feels like I aced the test AND got extra credit. 

Honest Man

Me and another supervisor from another office have been talking on Microsoft Teams. We've been getting to know each other, getting chummy. We've really hit it off. 

We've got so many things in common. She's into soccer. We both love to travel. She went to the same college I did. She was in the same major. We graduated the same year. We do the same job but at different offices. 

We've hit it off so much that I look forward to talking to her everyday. It's the best part of my day. I'm fucking SPRUNG off this chick.

So yesterday I asked her out. She responded, but she only put crying laughing emojis. I was waiting for a yes or no, but didn't get any further response.

I go home and I'm disappointed. She could have just said yes or no, but she just kinda left me on read. It's so annoying! I get it, no response is a response nowadays. It is what it is, it's just the times that we're in. 

But I was so frustrated because I knew we had such great chemistry! Where tf did I go wrong? I didn't say anything crazy, I just asked her out to happy hour after work!

Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she's just not interested, idk. Either way, I wish mfers would just give you a yes or no. Wtf happened to communication!?

So I sulked a little bit last night and this morning. I've been single for a long time now. This is the first time I've been excited about a girl in SO long. First time I've actually asked a girl out since my ex, like 10 years ago! 

But whatever, I'm 32 years old. I have enough life experience and dating experience to take my L's in stride. I'm sure she has her reasons. They're probably good reasons too. Just gotta keep it pushing.

So imagine my surprise when she messages me today after lunch and says "omg why did I just see this now? And I'm SUPER DOWN!"

Holy shit. When I saw that text, I couldn't do a goddamn thing but smile and walk away. I FORGOT just how good it feels to ask a girl out and her to say yes. It's so stupid and juvenile but it's how I felt. It kind of dominated my thoughts. Had to tell myself to focus on what was in front of me while I was at work. 

After work I went to the mall and got me a nice jacket. You look good, you feel good, yaknowwhatimean!?