I think maturity doesn't seem to come until you're not ready for it. Throughout my entire life, I've wondered, "when will I feel like a mature, grown ass adult?"
I wondered about that when I was in middle school. I told myself, "okay don't worry, soon you'll be old enough to drive. With that privilege comes a lot of maturity." But when the day came that I got my driver's license, I didn't feel any more mature; I just felt like 13 year old me with the ability to get around town.
I wondered about it when I was in a senior in high school, driving around in my new car, spending money I was earning working 8 hour shifts at a restaurant in Sea World. Part of me felt older and more mature, but it wasn't what I imagined. In my mind, I was still 13 year old Ryan Manalili, just with some money and a car.
I wondered about it while in college. It's cool being away from home with a bunch of other kids my age, but I still felt like 13 year old me, mingling with other 13 year olds with no adult supervision. It hasn't exactly been what I look for as far as maturity goes.
There's been no point in my life that I can point to and say, "yeah, that's the point at which I became a mature, grown ass man." Maybe that point will come when/if I get married and have kids(Who am I kidding, chances are I will end up getting married and having kids. I just like to think that I'm not bound to that life, lol).
With no direction in one's life, one has no choice but to become mature. I'm sure kids graduating from high school with no idea what to do feel the same way.
Monday, May 27, 2013
There Are No Normal People, Just Different Kinds Of Weird
Editor's note: I had to go and release a post from the depths of the "tonight's aspirations" vault on you hoes! It's crazy to see how I wrote as well as what I write about years ago.
I'm soooo jealous/envious of people who "have game." Being able to meet someone and instantly be capable of making them laugh, smile, or otherwise loosen up and reciprocate the interest is such a great talent to have.
"Having game" typically means that the person can go to a party, pick out someone they're interested in, and find a way to get what they want from them, be it a number, a kiss, or even all the way to sex. It could be through use of flattery, jokes or any other number of strategies. No matter the strategy (and people who have game have all kinds of strategies), results are had.
Unfortunately, I don't really think I have game, at least in the typical sense of the word. I've never had much luck getting at girls I've only just met(hell, I don't even know if I've ever even tried before, lol).
And I'm all right with that. My game, if I even have any, is much more of a slow play. Instead of hooking up with a girl the night that I meet her, I opt to try to get her out to lunch so that I can get to know her. This way, I can gauge who they are as a person and what they're about before we swap saliva, lol. This also makes it so that I don't end up with an experience with beer goggles. (Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, because that shit is fucking HILARIOUS.)
One of the reasons I've been hesitant to get at girls I've only just met is that I really have no idea who they are and what they're about. For all I know, they could be a complete bitch. Maybe they give off a good first impression and are good at meeting people for the first time, but aren't as cool once you get to know them better. It's for this reason that I hold off really "getting at" any girls until I see something more than what is given off on a first impression.
Maybe my approach sucks, maybe it doesn't. It filters out girls who aren't really into who I am, and the only ones that remain are girls who are genuinely interested in who I am and what I have to offer.
When Your Bitch Break Down My Weed One Time
It's hard to refer to things I learned in college classes without sounding pretentious. Most of the times that I've heard people talk about things they've learned in their classes, they do it in a way that comes across as "I'm so cool and knowledgeable about this subject. Look at me." There's been a few people I've come across who are good at referencing their studies without coming across this way, but they've been far from the norm.
That being said, I took a lot of classes about gender, sexuality, male, racism, social problems, blah blah blah a lot about social issues and attitudes. It's resulted in me learning a lot about equality and attitudes towards many different kinds of people. Despite differences in our political beliefs, social beliefs, sexual preferences, age, etc., one thing that's resonated with me is that we are still more alike than we are different. My approach towards others, no matter what their outward appearance is, is the same; I look at everyone as a friend and treat them as such. It's resulted in me learning not to "judge"(god, do I hate that word) others. I feel like *high horse warning* being in those classes has made my approach towards some issues radically different from the norm.
For example, yesterday I was at the beach throwing a frisbee back and forth with my girlfriend. A 9 year old kid asked if he could join in and of course we obliged. We ended up playing frisbee and soccer with Jerry, a 9 year old Mexican American kid for an hour or two. It was actually really fun, aside from the kid having ENTIRELY too much energy for me.
Afterwards, however, my friends made a lot of half-hearted jokes about me being a pedobear for hanging out with and playing with Jerry. They've told me that it was weird that I played with him, even if I got permission from his parents, who were hanging out with their other kids right next to our tent.
I think this says a lot about the state of how we approach kids. There was a time when, as an adult, you could play sports outside with a kid you just met without any fearing any kind of being the butt of pedobear jokes. There was a time when playing frisbee with a kid like Jerry was just something awesome that happened to you.
But now, with how general attitudes are towards the security of our children, a 22 year old male can't hang out with a kid, even in broad daylight at the beach, without looking like a pedophile. Although the jokes were more or less half-hearted, the intent was obvious. My friends made it clear that playing frisbee and soccer with a kid you just met isn't proper behavior. If there wasn't a general attitude that it isn't proper behavior to play soccer with a 9 year old kid you just met, then my friends wouldn't have made those jokes; they wouldn't have even brought it up because it would be a non-issue.
During my times in my sociology classes, I found myself questioning just how often some of the scenarios presented really happened in real life. Some situations sounded so radical and obnoxiously fake that I just shrugged them off and continued on with the assignment.
But being a part of a real life scenario has colored my experiences in those classes as much more real. Whereas I didn't give it a second thought when little Jerry wanted to throw the frisbee with us, anyone else would have resisted because of the implications of being seen as a pedophile.
This is the part of the post where I stop being objective and start being subjective.
I think it's terrible that I couldn't play soccer with Jerry without being seen as a pedophile. I seriously didn't give it a second thought when he asked if he could throw the frisbee with us. I hate that the general attitude towards kids is that you don't look at or speak with them or else you risk looking like a pedophile. I wish I could say that I believe in being part of the solution and not the problem, and that's why I played frisbee and soccer with Jerry. But the truth is that I didn't give it a second thought because I didn't see it being wrong at all to throw a frisbee with a kid in a park full of people.
I hope that by the time I start raising my kids, the general attitude is that it's perfectly fine for kids to interact with strangers. I want to be able to encourage my kids to socialize with people of different shapes and sizes without fear that their new friends will abduct them or have any other kind of evil intent. I hope that my children will feel comfortable with approaching strangers, else they risk developing a weird fear of strangers.
Aside: One of the things that bugs me the most is that soccer is my favorite sport because of how it unites people of different races, religion, nationality,(and in this case) age. Sports should unite us, not divide us!
That being said, I took a lot of classes about gender, sexuality, male, racism, social problems, blah blah blah a lot about social issues and attitudes. It's resulted in me learning a lot about equality and attitudes towards many different kinds of people. Despite differences in our political beliefs, social beliefs, sexual preferences, age, etc., one thing that's resonated with me is that we are still more alike than we are different. My approach towards others, no matter what their outward appearance is, is the same; I look at everyone as a friend and treat them as such. It's resulted in me learning not to "judge"(god, do I hate that word) others. I feel like *high horse warning* being in those classes has made my approach towards some issues radically different from the norm.
For example, yesterday I was at the beach throwing a frisbee back and forth with my girlfriend. A 9 year old kid asked if he could join in and of course we obliged. We ended up playing frisbee and soccer with Jerry, a 9 year old Mexican American kid for an hour or two. It was actually really fun, aside from the kid having ENTIRELY too much energy for me.
Afterwards, however, my friends made a lot of half-hearted jokes about me being a pedobear for hanging out with and playing with Jerry. They've told me that it was weird that I played with him, even if I got permission from his parents, who were hanging out with their other kids right next to our tent.
I think this says a lot about the state of how we approach kids. There was a time when, as an adult, you could play sports outside with a kid you just met without any fearing any kind of being the butt of pedobear jokes. There was a time when playing frisbee with a kid like Jerry was just something awesome that happened to you.
But now, with how general attitudes are towards the security of our children, a 22 year old male can't hang out with a kid, even in broad daylight at the beach, without looking like a pedophile. Although the jokes were more or less half-hearted, the intent was obvious. My friends made it clear that playing frisbee and soccer with a kid you just met isn't proper behavior. If there wasn't a general attitude that it isn't proper behavior to play soccer with a 9 year old kid you just met, then my friends wouldn't have made those jokes; they wouldn't have even brought it up because it would be a non-issue.
During my times in my sociology classes, I found myself questioning just how often some of the scenarios presented really happened in real life. Some situations sounded so radical and obnoxiously fake that I just shrugged them off and continued on with the assignment.
But being a part of a real life scenario has colored my experiences in those classes as much more real. Whereas I didn't give it a second thought when little Jerry wanted to throw the frisbee with us, anyone else would have resisted because of the implications of being seen as a pedophile.
This is the part of the post where I stop being objective and start being subjective.
I think it's terrible that I couldn't play soccer with Jerry without being seen as a pedophile. I seriously didn't give it a second thought when he asked if he could throw the frisbee with us. I hate that the general attitude towards kids is that you don't look at or speak with them or else you risk looking like a pedophile. I wish I could say that I believe in being part of the solution and not the problem, and that's why I played frisbee and soccer with Jerry. But the truth is that I didn't give it a second thought because I didn't see it being wrong at all to throw a frisbee with a kid in a park full of people.
I hope that by the time I start raising my kids, the general attitude is that it's perfectly fine for kids to interact with strangers. I want to be able to encourage my kids to socialize with people of different shapes and sizes without fear that their new friends will abduct them or have any other kind of evil intent. I hope that my children will feel comfortable with approaching strangers, else they risk developing a weird fear of strangers.
Aside: One of the things that bugs me the most is that soccer is my favorite sport because of how it unites people of different races, religion, nationality,(and in this case) age. Sports should unite us, not divide us!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
You Shmell Me?
"I just don't want to see you hurt."
-Someone giving advice
Fuck this attitude though! Let me get hurt. Let me make mistakes! Let me fuck up. That's how you learn. Fucking up is a part of life. Don't shelter me from feeling any kind of temporary discomfort just because you want me to be perfect. Let me make mistakes so I can learn from em, you shmell me shun?
-Someone giving advice
Fuck this attitude though! Let me get hurt. Let me make mistakes! Let me fuck up. That's how you learn. Fucking up is a part of life. Don't shelter me from feeling any kind of temporary discomfort just because you want me to be perfect. Let me make mistakes so I can learn from em, you shmell me shun?
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