I Won't Let Them Take You

Bemis struggled with different ideas for the record and decided the album should focus on "the artistic struggle, the fact that every creative person has this sick ambition to affect some sort of change in society with their art, to be more than just a guy in a band or a poet or a sculptor."

All I See Is Fireworks

There's a girl in my class with a pretty big scar on her face. She talks to me every once in a while and I can't help but look at her scar. Sometimes I'll just give her a quick look while I'm talking to her and then look away quickly. I hope this is enough to establish eye contact, but I'm not really sure what she thinks of all of this. I'm glad that I talk to her. She seems like a friendly person, although she's gotten the cold shoulder from a couple of other students. Today, she talked to me for a while, covering her scar with her hand the entire time, and it was cool, but I hope that she doesn't think I'm weird for not looking her in the eye when we talk.

All the Girls Who Played Me, Eat Your Motherfuckin Heart Out

When I'm bored or when its really awkward in class, I like to write random poems. This is something I wrote about this kid in my class.

I'm young
I'm stubborn
I know what's best for me
Or maybe I don't
But I'm doing me
And you're just a critic
So fuck you
I'm doing me

I'm not particularly proud of this poem, but I do appreciate this kid for providing me with some entertainment. He's a great example of someone who you might disagree with, but if you take the time to empathize with them, look at things from their point of view and consider their circumstances, there's a good chance that you could find a way to love them.

Even though I've never formally met you, I love you, random angry dude in my class. You found ways to brighten up my day and I thank you for that.

This Can't Be Life!

I'm a student of life.

My ego tells me that I'm very good at what I do. I know a lot about everything. Nobody can school me on the things I've chosen to look into. Does this make me cocky? Yep. Does this make me naive? Yep.

But am I immune to criticism? Hell no. If I can learn from you, I probably keep you near and dear to my heart. I love you for that. I am a student of you. As much as I front like I'm above it all, know that I'm the student and you're the teacher.

So who do I believe? Me and my ego or you?

Purify

I just read a few articles about bottled water vs. tap water and it's got me thinking. Basically, bottled water, no matter what form or shape it's in, is bad for the environment. There are a few benefits to bottled water, although there are a lot of misconceptions about it. Pretty much, tap water typically isn't bad for you. It might have an aftertaste, but it won't harm you.

Here's a good link if you want to read into it further: The Bottled Water Controversy

Herein lies my dilemma. I live in Riverside, CA and San Diego, Ca, two places with some of the worst tap water in America(true shit, look it up). I used to love drinking water from the tap when I was younger, but as I got introduced to more and more different tasting waters, I grew to love some more than others, and pushed tap water to the side. I've found myself drinking Arrowhead water religiously, at times drinking up to 8 bottles a day.

Is this hurting the environment? It'd be a lie to deny that. Am I going to change? It'd be a lie to say yes. I refuse to drink this nasty ass tap water coming out of my nasty ass faucet. But would I deny tap water from a restaurant? Definitely not, that shit is nearly always clean, as long as they restaurant keeps up with food regulations and whatnot.

So here I am. I'm an ignorant rebel who is hurting the environment. I don't know what to feel about this. hahaha

Btw, Arrowhead is spring water(read: good water) and Dasani is just purified tap water. Shots intended.

Showin Love

The best water out there. Anyone who argues otherwise is misinformed. Yep.

One More Time

"We care less now than we used to about what critics say about our music. We liked the track, Romanthony liked it, we can be disappointed about what they said about the song, but still we liked it. It’s just music, it’s just entertainment, and as long as we believe in it that’s what is important. It’s what we wanted to do. We love to be able to use instruments the way we want to. Criticizing the Vocoder is like asking bands in the ’60s, ‘Why do you use the electric guitar?’ It’s just a tool... no big deal. Creation is interaction. The healthy thing is that people either loved it or hated it. At least people were not neutral. The worst thing when you make art is for people to not even be moved by it. Love and hate are interesting because it’s deep and intense. It’s one side of our music that people might be sensitive to and others might not."

-Thomas Bangalter on the autotuning and heavy processing of "One More Time."

I personally cosign his belief on using autotune. Some artists just happen to use it better than others.

Put You Above Me

I learned today about subtle ways that women are put under men. One of the more interesting points is how it is rare to find a woman higher than a man on a picture. Men are supposed to be taller than women and if they aren't, they need to be shown on a higher position than a woman in any given picture. I never really thought too much about this other than "that's just how it is." This is a cool topic to think critically about. I'm even considering making it a point to slump down in pictures to make girls appear higher than me. hahaha

Tough Guise

This video highlights a big part of growing up as a young man, especially in America. I find it hard to respect other guys who buy into this "tough guise." Seeing someone who needs to be dominant and in control, and will go to extreme lengths to gain this control, will rarely ever gain my complete respect.

I like to think of myself as a decently tolerant person. However, I struggle with being tolerant of people who are quick to be violent, wish to be violent, yell over opponents in arguments, and belittle others because they feel the need to have be dominant and have control.

Take Me

Teedra Moses ft. Raphael Saadiq - Take Me

One of my go to songs when it's cold outside.

Hop Up Out My Bed

MTV Shows

Anyone who defends soulja boy is cool in my book

Super Smash Bros. Melee

One of my favorite games everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. This game is so much more intricate than you can imagine. The Smash culture is really interesting as well.

I'm Sick and Tired of the Loose Rap

I remember when I was younger, on random trips to vegas or random places around California, I would look at skylines of mountains set against purple clouds and dark blue skies. The unique picture made my imagination run wild. I would imagine that the dark, giant mountains were evil castles and that one day I would journey to those castles and fight the knights, dragons and alligators guarding those castles.

Looking back, I had quite an imagination. I think I still do. But I think that as I've grown, these wild dreams of mine have become casualties to my life as a responsible adult. I've got a hundred times more things to worry about now than I had back then. I'm sure that if I didn't have so many worries and so many responsibilities, that I'd be able to dream these wild dreams still.

It's odd because when I was young, all I wanted was to have these responsibilities. I wanted to be able to drive. I wanted to stay up late. I really wanted to be able to buy food through a drive through(lol). But now that I have that, a part of me wants to go back to when my life was much more stress free. Don't get me wrong. I love being an adult with all kinds of responsibilities, especially because I can handle all of it most of it. But I need to be careful to never lose my childish innocence and my wildly naive dreams.

I'm going to strike a good balance between being a responsible adult and being a stupid and naive 10 year old.

Shock Me

I need to be careful. I really miss being in a relationship. I miss the intimacy and the comfort. I miss the passion. I miss cuddling up, drinking hot chocolate(I don't mess with coffee lol) while watching scary movies. I miss the satisfaction of knowing that I really matter to someone, that if I were gone for too long, that someone would miss me.

I have an addiction to this feeling. I'm not too sure whether or not this is a good addiction or not. On one hand, I've done some really great things because of this feeling. On the other hand, this feeling has had me reaching for anything that resembles the feeling at all, even when the resemblance was completely false. I've gone after girls that I had no business going after, only because I needed a fix for my addiction. These girls were no where near what I really wanted, let alone what I needed. I see cute girls at parties/random gatherings and I'll flirt with them, even if they're not what I'm really looking for. I need to be careful with my addiction, because I might not always make the right decision.

Sometimes I just want to give in to temptation and get with a girl just for temporary satisfaction. Who knows, maybe I'll be weak and succomb to the temptation. But I'm trying my best to not fail. I don't want to relapse. I like the direction I'm headed in. I'm going to be careful with my actions and choices. You'll know because the next girl I get with won't be a girl I get with solely for temporary satisfaction. She won't be just any other girl. She will be someone I feel truly compatible with. She'll be someone whose goals I agree with and help to accomplish. She will be someone I see eye to eye with. There'll be no more getting with girls just because it's fun. I'm focused goddammit.

She Got the Power in Her Hand

If it feels dangerous, if it feels risky, you should write it down. It makes for the best creative writing out there. Write it all down, especially the stuff you are most afraid of putting down on paper. Even if you end up throwing it away later, it shows courage to get out your most terrifying ideas/thoughts/feelings on paper.

Hello there!

I've seen a lot of girls in cute outfits today. It made me wish that I could somehow "like" their outfit, similar to liking a status on Facebook. If only, if only. Haha.

Tonight's Aspirations

Whether you check this blog often or if this is your first time checking in, this post is for you.

It's been a year since I started this blog. These are a few thoughts that I have about this blog.

I originally started this out as a simple outlet for me to get out random ideas, and it's become something a little more than that. At first, I just wanted a place to put things that I wanted to put on facebook as a note. I noticed that I started thinking of more and more ideas of things that I wanted to share with anyone willing to listen.

I've always found solace in having a forum to get out random feelings, thoughts, ideas and all kinds of other random things. This blog has proven to be a great tool for me to grow through. I write down all kinds of lingering ideas that I don't want to forget. I jot down random thoughts that I don't want to forget or don't want to be able to deny ever having.

I've posted things that I'm not proud of as well as things that I absolutely love.

I look back at some of my posts and think "wtf was I thinking?"

My blog is named "Tonight's Aspirations" because it reflects what I wanted this blog to become. I often find myself wondering what my plans are for the night. It's this look to the near future that I wanted to capture with some of my posts. I feel like that's something that a lot of people can relate to. I write a lot of things here that I hope that other people can relate to.

After writing so many posts, it's inevitable that I develop a voice in my posts. I don't know how I would describe it, nor do I know if I even keep it constant enough for it to be classified. I feel afraid sometimes that this voice isn't enjoyable to listen to. Maybe it is. I don't know.

I realize that as with most blogs, a lot of my posts are hit or miss. I look back and see posts that I would like to delete, but I don't because I believe that the same reason that I make those posts is the same reason that I make the posts that I absolutely love.

I've only been asked about my blog a handful of times. Each time, I've been afraid that the person I was talking to didn't like my blog. Maybe they thought I was too pretentious, maybe they thought my posts were boring, or maybe they didn't like how plain and boring my layout is. I was pleasantly surprised when each talk was a positive one. Please don't be afraid to talk to me about my blog, whether it be through a comment on a post, through IMs, or better yet, in real life. I love talking about anything and everything I've ever posted. Whether you agree or disagree with something I've posted, or really liked a video or picture or whatever else I've posted on here, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you for supporting this blog. All the support is overwhelming.

Around the World

I know I never told you
Cuz I never felt the need
But now it feels appropriate
So lemme get you up to speed
I never thought that when we met
We were together planting a seed
That would end up blossoming
Into a flower, not a weed
It's too bad that flowers die
Because otherwise we could feed
The world forever with our love
So instead, follow my lead
We'll be attacked by a butterfly
Who in turn will spread it's wings
And spread our influence outward
Eventually everyone will see
The strength of our relationship
And the reason why we can be
So frank and honest with each other
How nothing ever comes between
The integrity of our love
But now we're a dying breed
It was worth it in the end
At least it was for me
Because you made it all worthwhile
And now we've been set free
So I thank you for everything
What you represent to me
Is more than words can explain

Procrastination

Pontius Pilate

I feel dirty.

Iron Mike

“When you guys show me love, I hate you. Because I don’t like myself. So we’ve a got a Catch 22 with my own identity. That’s why I’m very harsh, very tyrannical. I don’t care whether I live or die. I don’t give a fuck about any of you. But I do.”

- Mike Tyson

Curitiba, Brazil

I learned about this city, consistently hailed as one of the most eco-friendly cities in the world, in my environmental science class.

Some random facts I remember from lecture:

The city recycles two-thirds of its refuse.

Parks are maintained not by lawn mowers, but by actual shepherds! *mind blown*

Has one of the best economies in the country.

One of the best public transportation systems in the world, including a great bus system that runs in and out of each suburb around Curitiba. The buses run on an honor system; individual tickets are cheap, and often aren't checked at all. However, there is a steep fine for anyone caught without a ticket.

High on my list of interesting places in the world that I wouldn't mind visiting one day.

A great article about Curitiba Here.

Jimmy's Story

It seems like I only fall for girls that end up doing me harm. I aim for the girls that take the breath of everyone in the room. I think that that quality in the girls I get with end up hurting me in the end.

You better be the one I've been hoping for. You better be the one that won't hurt me. Because if you aren't, I don't what kind of guy I'll become.

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands

When I find myself spending money frivolously, I justify it as "my own personal stimulus package."

I'm going to regret this later.

"You Go Girl!"

Watching tv shows and movies like "House" and "Scrubs" helps me realize how stressful it must be to work in the medical field. There's a lot of touchy issues that must really try at the characters of the nurses, doctors, and even the janitors and cafeteria workers at a hospital. I'm sure that everyday life working at a hospital isn't as dramatic as it seems on tv or in the movies(they are just entertainment after all), but there's definitely some reality behind those stories.

It makes me wish that I could be a doctor or nurse one day. I feel that I could handle the stress and weight of a hectic job like one in a hospital. While I wouldn't very much enjoy some of the duties(like explaining to someone that their disease is fatal or having to deal with unruly family members), I believe that I could bear that weight better than a lot of people.

It's not that I really wish to be a medical doctor or anything. Contrarily, I'm pretty bad with math and the natural sciences. But I do wish that I could take the tough parts of those jobs and put that weight on my shoulder because I believe I could handle that stress.