Shock Me

I need to be careful. I really miss being in a relationship. I miss the intimacy and the comfort. I miss the passion. I miss cuddling up, drinking hot chocolate(I don't mess with coffee lol) while watching scary movies. I miss the satisfaction of knowing that I really matter to someone, that if I were gone for too long, that someone would miss me.

I have an addiction to this feeling. I'm not too sure whether or not this is a good addiction or not. On one hand, I've done some really great things because of this feeling. On the other hand, this feeling has had me reaching for anything that resembles the feeling at all, even when the resemblance was completely false. I've gone after girls that I had no business going after, only because I needed a fix for my addiction. These girls were no where near what I really wanted, let alone what I needed. I see cute girls at parties/random gatherings and I'll flirt with them, even if they're not what I'm really looking for. I need to be careful with my addiction, because I might not always make the right decision.

Sometimes I just want to give in to temptation and get with a girl just for temporary satisfaction. Who knows, maybe I'll be weak and succomb to the temptation. But I'm trying my best to not fail. I don't want to relapse. I like the direction I'm headed in. I'm going to be careful with my actions and choices. You'll know because the next girl I get with won't be a girl I get with solely for temporary satisfaction. She won't be just any other girl. She will be someone I feel truly compatible with. She'll be someone whose goals I agree with and help to accomplish. She will be someone I see eye to eye with. There'll be no more getting with girls just because it's fun. I'm focused goddammit.