Feel the Lows Before the Highs

I never realized how often and how violently my mood will change in the course of a day, sometimes even with an hour. It never occurred to me that I might possibly be bipolar. Usually my moods will transition so smoothly that I can barely make out the difference.

I'm currently struggling with fighting to stay with a mood that I felt happy and content with. My body, heart, mind and soul are fighting for a change, while I want to remain in this happy place of mine.

I know the right thing to do is to allow this change to happen. If I don't, then I'll be caught in a conflict with myself, resulting in confusion and a lowering of my overall mood. I need to allow this change to happen, because trying as hard as I am to stay in this mood is ruining the organicness(I just coined that term right now) of the feeling. This results in a false feeling of contentedness(damn im just pushing it now lol) and rarely results in anything good.

I know I need to allow this unwelcome mood in, but I'm trying my hardest not to. My actions aren't following my intentions, and it's confusing the hell out of me.