Monday, March 11. Naples

Yeah, I'm sick. Lol. I figure that I'm coming back to Naples one day so missing out on Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii is okay if it means resting and making sure the rest of the trip isn't jeopardized.

I had breakfast at my hotel and went back to sleep. I woke and realized that in my excitement, I had forgotten to do the remainder of my laundry when I had first arrived to Naples. I went ahead and got that done and finally headed out of my hotel room early in the night.

I got some pizza with bread crumbs, mashed potatoes, and ham. Really good but super filling. Felt like a waste not being able to finish most of it but fuck ittt.

I continued galavanting around Naples. I've noticed a couple of things. Naples might beat out Manila for the city with drivers who are able to maneuver in tight spaces. These Neapolitans will make any car or motorcycle fit in a 10 foot wide street, even with a shitload of people walking about.

I'm here during Carnival so a lot of the museums are free to enter. I went to a couple but I'm not a huge museum guy so I only went to ones that I ran into during my walks. I didn't really plan on going to any of them.

I was hanging out in front of Castel Nuovo when a random dude came up to me and asked me questions in Italian. Some woman was with him and she greeted me as well. I couldn't understand them but I knew right away that this was a scam. I heard something about using my phone and him giving me €1 to use it. Apparently the lady had an emergency and they really needed to use it.

I've seen scams like these before. Stuff like street merchants trying to sell you bracelets and being so pushy that they put the bracelet on you. Gypsies who will do anything to scam you out of money.

In these situations you gotta just walk away. Some people (especially Americans) get annoyed when people touch them but you gotta just understand that that's how things are out here. If you walk away they'll give up eventually.

I wanted to try some svogliatella, this pastry that Naples is known for. I passed as couple of places that didn't have any more svogliatella before I ended up at Gran Caffe Gambrinus, some famous place. It's overpriced but not by a ridiculous amount. I FaceTimed my family because it's my dad's bday. That was nice.

My hotel has a park area right across the street. I chilled and people watched before finding a pizzeria that was showing the Roma-Empoli game.

My train to Florence doesn't leave until 10:30AM tomorrow so I don't have to rush to get ready like I have for the other train rides over taken for this trip. And the ride isn't as long as I'm used to on this trip, at a little less than 3 hours. I'm hyped to see Michelangelo's David. I'm hyped to see the sunset, which is supposed to be world class.

Sunday March 10. Naples

My train from Verona to Naples left at 8:45AM so it was another early morning for your boy. The train ride itself was cool. The views were cool and definitely Italian but it had nothing on the views of the Alps when I rode from Germany, through Austria, and into Italy.

I arrived in Naples and boy, does this city have character. I can see why people would say it's dirty. It's really not that dirty though. It doesn't have trash on the streets the way San Francisco and New York does. I think it get its dirty reputation from the old, smog stained buildings. I don't even mind the look. It feels very authentic.

It was a fucking HIKE to my hotel though. Naples is full of small, tight alleyways. I can see why it gets a reputation as being dangerous because if someone stole something from me and took off running, it'd be incredibly easy to get away. To be fair, I didn't feel unsafe at all.

By the time I unpacked and was ready to head out into the city, it was already 3:00PM. I hadn't had breakfast since the train in was so early, so I was super excited to get some of this world famous napoletano pizza.

And it didn't disappoint! It's just as good as advertised. The crust might be the most amazing part. I'm not the best food critic so I'll just describe it as tasty, incredible, and more soupy than any other pizza I've had. You definitely notice the local Italian oil.

I found a bar that was showing the Napoli-Sassuolo game. I hung out, got wine drunk, and was happy that Napoli (who is ahead of Milan in the table) dropped points to lowly Sassuolo.

I spent what was left of the night walking around and getting a lay of the land. Napoli is much scarier at night, lol. Those small alleys turn into very dark alleys and when you find yourself alone, it's not the best feeling lol.

I planned out the next day (Mount Vesuvius) and rested. I feel like I might be getting sick. Too much moving around and not enough resting. Hopefully it's not the case but we'll see tomorrow morning.

Saturday, March 9th. Verona

My train to Verona was pretty dope. I had a first class ticket and it was cool. It's not a huuuuge difference from second class but it was nice.

I was sitting with a Russian family from Moscow. I fell asleep and woke up shortly after, as the attendant checked our tickets. The Dad struck up a quick conversation with me but he didn't know much English. His wife asked if she could see my Nintendo switch. I let her see it really quickly. She saw Pokemon and asked if her daughter could play. I changed the language on my switch to Russian and the daughter was ecstatic.

The mom was very thankful and gave me some chocolate. The Dad busted out some jagermeister and offered me some. It was like 10:30AM but you can't turn down that offer lol.

We talked for a little bit, with both his daughter and Google translate acting as our translator.

Their family were skiing the Austrian Alps. Fucking bourgie ass family, lol. They brought their skiis and everything. It turns out that both he and his wife are morticians. He said that his wife was the "Death Doctor." I was scared so I left that joke alone, lollll.

He encouraged his daughter to speak to be in English for practice. She was cool. She's 8 years old, swims, skiis, and reads for fun. She plays Pokemon go on her phone. She was explaining how in Russia they have to download an emulator or something that in order to play. She seemed pretty tech savvy for her age.

Shout out to that family. They were cool af.

The remainder of the rain ride was great. The views were craaazy. You see the snow-capped Alps and all these cool villages. It felt like Switzerland but not as grandiose.

I finally arrived in Verona and God damn was it a welcome sight. I think it was kind of draining, staying in all of these big cities with big buildings. Verona has a very old-school, small city feeling. It came at just the other time for me. That's a lie, I probably would have been happier if I had been there a day or two earlier lol.

I checked in to my bed and breakfast place. It was very much a family owned business. The business messaged me on Whatsapp to confirm details with me. It was weird but kind of cool at the same time.

I got settled in and headed out. I struggled to open the front door because none of my keys worked. I was so confused. I tried one more key and I actually turned it so hard that the key broke off LOL. I messaged the guy on Whatsapp and he came and gave me a replacement key. It turns out that there's a switch on the wall that you flip to open the door. Smmfh.

I only had a couple of hours to roam around because Milan played Chievo Verona at 8:30PM. Thankfully Verona is a super small city and you can walk from one end of the city to the other in less than 30 minutes.

I skipped out on Juliet's balcony and grabbing her breast (yeah, it's a real thing lol). I crossed Castelvecchio Bridge and went up to Piazza Castele San Pietro. That whole shit is a fucking VIBE. Definitely worth going back. Being there during sunset was the exact kind of thing I wanted to do on this trip.

I went back to my B&B and relaxed before the game. It was nice to finally have a room to myself. For the rest of the trip I'll have my own room. Actually, starting tomorrow in Naples, I'll have hotel rooms. It's fucking lit!

I made my way over to the game. It was super hype for me because of the feeling. You could see the bright lights of the Stadio Bentegodi off in the distance. It was walking distance away but the light made it feel like it was so far away. I was getting more and more hyped the closer I got.

Imagine my surprise when I got to the stadium and there was a FAT line to get in. On top of that, I had to buy my ticket there because you couldn't purchase tickets online. They only had €50 tickets left an I had to wait in the crazy line. Italy is dope but the smaller cities really gotta get their shit together lol. It's ridiculous that you can't buy tickets online.

I finally got in and I couldn't figure out where my seat was. I walked in just as the game started and I didn't feel like searching anymore. I looked around and other Milan fans were standing on this perch, so I followed suit. I stood on that perch the entire game. It actually offered a great view and I didn't mind standing.

The game itself was wonderful. Lucas Biglia scored on a free kick (who knew he could score free kick? Lol) but Andrea Conti didn't defend a cross well, allowed a free header on goal, and we conceded right before halftime. The  Chievo Verona fans lit up the Bentegodi with excitement. I've never seen so many old people (especially grandmas) cheering so loudly and violently. We went into halftime a little nervous, especially considering our coach got sent off for dissent. We're a much better team than Chievo Verona so the home fans were super happy to be tied at halftime. They had every right to be happy.

Thankfully Milan isn't that far from Verona (I think it's like a 2 hour train ride) and
many Milan fans made the trip. If I had to guess, half of the stadium was Milan fans. It was wild. I really picked a great time to make this trip. The team is in great spirits and it really feels like this is the beginning of a beautiful thing

The Curva Sud (Milan's most dedicated fan base) created an electric atmosphere. They were chanting in unison the entire game, as loud as possible. The way they stay organized is incredible. They lit red flares when we scored and changed the name of any player who scored. It's seriously hard to describe how incredible it is to be there to witness it in person.

In the second half our star striker Krzysztof Piatek scored and put the game away. I don't know most of Milan's changes because they're in Italian but I know Piatek's chant. Witnessing him score and how the Curva celebrates him was so dope. Being able to recite the chant along with tens of thousands of other Milan fans was DOPE.

After the game ended I made my way back to my B&B, smiling and happy to finally have a room to myself. Naples and incredible pizza tomorrow, I'm HYPED.

Friday, March 8th. Munich

I woke up and tried to get reasonably early start. I wanted to get to take the 2.5 hour train to Neuschwanstein Castle, spend however long there, make it back on another 2.5 hour train ride, and get to Munich in time to wrap up whatever I wanted to go in Munich.

I had breakfast at the hotel and took a 9:30AM train. The train ride was pretty nice. Again, the German countryside is fucking amazing.

I got off the train, took a bus, and finally made it to the bottom of the hill that Neuschwanstein Castle sits on. You could either hike for 30 minutes or pay to take a horse carriage up. It was low-key a tough hike but it was well worth it.

It was pretty much as beautiful as I hoped it would be. I was a little disappointed that Queen Mary's Bridge was closed, but it was still fine. Queen Mary's Bridge offers the best view of Neuschwanstein Castle. Maybe I'll come back one day.

Right after I found out that the bridge was closed, I realized that I had lost my power bank. I just have left it on the train. I was actually kind of shook because a power bank is one of the most important things to bring with you when you travel, especially to another continent.

This changed my plans a little bit. Thankfully I was staying in one of the most advanced cities in the world. I would have been more worried if I was staying in Verona or Naples and had to find a good power bank. I spent a good amount of the rest of the night shopping. I ended up with a decent power bank and some bourgie headphones. The over ear headphones that my sister had given me years ago had broken a couple days prior so I figured I might as well get some good over ear headphones here.

For dinner I wanted to get more of the wagyu beef that I had the night prior. I searched for good wagyu beef in Munich and found a couple of spots. I walked to like 4 different spots and every single one had lines out the door. It was ridiculous! None of them could sit a single person. I went to some famous beer garden but it was way too loud and boisterous. I wanted to just relax and chill by myself and this vibe was not doing it for me. I ended up settling for some bratwurst. It was cheap and it was fire. I didn't get my wagyu beef but I was pretty content.

I must have spent at least an hour or an hour and a half walking around lol. Somehow I accumulated the most steps this day than I did on any other day of this trip. And I spent 5 hours of the day on a train!

I spent the rest of the night charging stuff, finishing laundry, and planning stuff out. I was disappointed that I didn't get to go to the English garden. It's supposed to be Munich's version of Central Park. It's actually even bigger than Central Park. But I figured I needed to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on being in good condition to make it to the Milan game in Verona the next day.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with Munich. It seems like a great city to make a base and take day trips to surrounding areas. It's very modern, has a great culture, and caters pretty well to tourists. Is it on my bucket list to come back? Not really. Would I complain if I came back? Not at all.

Thursday, March 7th. Munich

I woke up this morning and had to get to my FlixBus at 9:30. I helped some Filipino aunties from Switzerland find their way to their bus. That was cool.

The FlixBus was pretty cool. Cheap and efficient. WiFi sucked, but whatever.

During the drive I noticed that Germans drive pretty well. Slower traffic actually merges to the right and allows faster vehicles to pass on the left. It was impressive.

During our drive I tried to pinpoint why traveling in Europe's countryside has been so much more enjoyable for me than seeing the countryside in America. I think it's the trees. I've seen a bunch of different trees that I've never seen before. I've read that trees in New England give the same feeling. Maybe I'll visit one day.

My hostel was super close to Munich Central Station. It barely even felt like a hostel. It was somewhere between a hotel and a hostel. I only shared this room with two other people, which was nice. They were younger dudes and they spoke Spanish. I didn't bother to talk to them because aside from the initial hellos (exchanged in English), they were always sleeping. Apparently people really sleep 9-10 hours sometimes. That's so strange to me lol.

It was the point in the trip where my laundry was piling up. I spent a lot of time doing laundry before I finally got out and moved around.

Munich feels a lot like Madrid. Very modern city with pretty much anything you could ask for in a contemporary city. Being here makes me feel like I'm a part of a city that has their shit together.

I will say that there are so many tall people here. I've seen so many men and women who are taller than me.

I walked around and searched for a good restaurant. I hadn't eaten a meal and the sun was going down so I was looking for a good, hearty meal. I found a spot that ended up being really good. The waiter recommended a sampler platter that gives a good idea of bavarian food.

It came with veal schnitzel, sausage, wagyu beef, veggies, sauerkraut, and mashed potatoes. It was a LOT. I didn't finish it but it was fucking amazingggg. The wagyu beef might be the best thing I've tried on this trip so far. Soooo good. The sauerkraut was good. Sausage was pretty standard. I don't think I really fuck with schnitzel. It's tenderized meat, breaded and deep fried. That sounds like it's right up my alley but my Americanized palate needed more seasoning. I needed some cajun spice or something on that bitch!

After the meal I headed towards the English Garden. It was only 8:00PM on a Thursday and I noticed all of the shops were closing down. Strange. I got to the park and that motherfucker was poorly lit. To the point that I turned right around and noped the fuck out of there lol. I figured I could go back the next day after I come back from my day trip to Neuschwanstein Castle.

I spent the rest of the night walking around and enjoying the scenery. I've seriously done so much walking this trip. I would probably benefit from getting a foot massage from one of the many Thai spas that I've seen multiple times on this trip.

Today felt like the most "travel day" day so far. Most of the day was spent getting ready, traveling, and doing laundry. Hopefully tomorrow feels more vacation like.

Christmas markets

Wednesday, March 6th. Prague

Woke up in my top bunk, feeling super weirded out by the fact that I woke up in a top bunk. How old am I? Lol.

Staying in hostels has been fun but when I do this trip again I definitely gotta get hotel rooms.

No breakfast today. We're getting straight to the shits! No plan, just gonna venture out and get lost in this wonderful city.
That's one of the great things about cities like Prague. The main part of the city isn't that big, so you can easily get lost and not really feel lost. Especially when the city has physical borders, like a river cutting through. If you get lost, just find your way to the river and work your way back to wherever it is you need to go!

I headed back towards Charles Bridge. Only this time I wanted to cross the bridge directly to the north of Charles Bridge. I got there and seeing that area again, only this time in the morning, was wild. Such a beautiful place. I chilled on the bridge for like half an hour before crossing.

I made my way towards the Prague Castle but came across a cool little park at the base of the hill. Chilled there for a little bit and made my way up the stairs that lead up to the castle. Those stairs are no joke lol.

Finally made my way in to the castle. It was dope! More of what I came to expect. Cool architecture, cool cobblestone streets, just dope. But nothing too out of the ordinary for these European cities. I didn't care to go inside or up the tower at St. Vitus Cathedral. I'm of the belief that once you see any of these European churches, you've more or less seen them all. The first few times are super cool, but eventually you become numb to them.

There's exceptions of course. La Sagrada Familia, Notre Dame, and St. Peter's Basilica come to mind. But I didn't think I'd get as much from seeing the inside of this castle and cathedral as I would from exploring more.

I stopped by a Starbucks to get some bottled water. One bad thing about Prague is it feels like money exchange and mini markets are scams. I withdrew $40 worth of Czech currency last night and there was an ATM fee of like $6.50. Apparently mini markets also overcharge for everything. So weird for a tourist like myself. The 1 liter water bottle from Starbucks ended up costing around $4. I figured that if I was going to be overcharged for water, I might as well spend it at an American owned business, right? Lol. MURRCA.

My plan was to head back towards the hostel, leave my external battery pack to charge, and grab some food from that burger place I wasn't able to go to last night.

On the way back, however, I ran into a cool little mini festival at the bottom of Charles Bridge. I got a small bowl with some weird pasta/potato thing with sausage in it as well as some beer. While scarfing that down, I realized that I might not come back to this side of the river and I hadn't yet gone to Petrin Hill.

So I sucked it up and started to head in that direction. I found another park right by the river and chilled for a bit. Chillin is starting to become a recurring theme here lol.

Petrin Hill is pretty high up and I had to pretty much walk back up the hill that I had just come down from. Half way up the hill was yet another dope park. I found a spot with a good view, laid down, and watched the clouds for like 45 minutes.

This is the part where good music comes into play. You can't just play your regular poppy, Top 40 joints. Imagine getting here and playing "Buy You A Drank." Lollll.

Nah, you gotta get into your atmospheric, moody vibe. Today's music choice was one of my favorite albums, Beach House's "Teen Dream."

I probably would have been content to spend the rest of the afternoon at that spot but I still hadn't actually made it to Petrin Hill yet, lol. So off I went.

I hadn't gone more than 100 yards before this group of three girls stopped me. They were friendly travelers, just wanting to say hi, ask where I was going, and keep me company. It was two German girls and a Pole.

Before you get any thoughts, I found out that these girls were 16 and 17 years old. R. Kelly is in the news cycle right now so I'm too scared to even try to make a joke about these girls, lolllllll.

But these young girls were super friendly! We hung out, got to the top of Petrin Hill, and went to the top of the tower. Turns out they're friends from school and they're here on holiday. Apparently kids as young as 15 just up and travel around Europe with no parental supervision. That tripped me tf out.

We came back down from Petrin Hill and went our separate ways. Shout out to the homies Selene, Corra, and Elena! On my way back to the hostel I found two sports bars that looked like prospective spots to go to for the champions league games later that night.

I got back to the hostel and at this point I was EXHAUSTED. It was only 5:30 but I had walked and hiked soooo much. I later was notified by my Fitbit that I had climbed 100 floors that day. I was super content to just hang out and relax for a while. I chilled in a common area of my hostel for a bit before I would go to that burger place that I wasn't able to go to the night prior.

Some Asian girl from some random Asian country (can't remember which) came into the common area and sat down. We struck up a conversation and I told her how I was going to the burger place and a sports bar afterwards and she should come join. She said she had just eaten but she might be down to come watch the games. She told me to come get her from her hostel room before I went to the game. It was lit!

So I bid her adieu (lol) and started heading downstairs. This tall German guy was walking down the stairs with me and said he overheard that I was trying to watch the champions league games. He had watched the champions league games the night prior at a small bar right in front of our hostel. We decided we would watch the night's games together. It was lit! I was slowly building a SQUAD.

So me and the homie Tom went to the burger place and of course it was full again. We decided to check out another spot that my sister recommended named Lokal. Lokal was only a block away so it was perfect. It was this huge dining hall that served local Czech food.

They sat us down at a table with a woman and man who seemed friendly. They were German as well (lots of Germans come to Prague for small trips, apparently). We struck up conversations and swapped traveling stories. They recommended some places for my trip to Munich. Shout out to them too, damnit!

Tom and I finished our meals and headed back to the hostel. We would rest for a little bit before heading out to the sports bars. I went to see if Asian girl homie wanted to come with but I couldn't find her. Fuck it, her loss!

Tom and I checked a couple of bars, all of which ended up not having any more seats. We finally landed at this Irish pub in Old Town. We got a good two person table with direct views of both games. It was super lit! I was soooo happy because it was the first time I had gotten to watch soccer games in Europe with another soccer fan who actually followed the sport.

Thankfully both games were entertaining. Two giants faced off between Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester United and two lesser teams face off between Roma-Porto. There was a table of Italian Roma fans next to us and most of the other people in the bar seemed to be rooting for Manchester United. It was a tremendous atmosphere. This was exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for when I planned this trip.

Both games were fun, entertaining, and slightly controversial. A perfect trinity for neutrals like myself. I was hoping Roma would win and they didn't, but it's fine.

By the time Tom and I got back to the hostel it was pretty late, like 12:30. I would have to wake up, shower, and check out, and get to the train station before my FlixBus arrived at 10:45AM. To make matters worse, Tom and I noticed that one of the two showers available on our floor went out of service that day.

So I made an executive decision and showered at 1:30AM. I couldn't risk waking up and having to wait for the one shower that was available on our floor. I showered and wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:30AM.

Tuesday March 5th. Prague

I haven't stopped smiling since I got here. This place is fucking amazing.

I stepped out of the train station and was greeted with beautiful Czech architecture.  Every building looks like it's from the 1700's or older. And yes they do come together well. Cobblestone streets. Just beautiful. I've only been here for a few hours and this might be my favorite city as far as buildings and architecture goes.

I found my hostel and got settled in. I've run into some interesting personalities at hostels so far. In Berlin it was the unnecessarily loud American. Here it was the nervous traveler. This guy came in right after me to check in, but was sort of pushy about getting checked in and was obviously nervous about something. The fact that his English wasn't great wasn't helping matters either. I let the receptionist check him in first. Hopefully that guy is doing alright.

The game plan was to get to the Adidas store to get running or soccer gloves. Such is my luck, they didn't have any. I figured I'd just say fuck it and not get any, since these two nights in Prague are supposed to be the coldest temps that I'll run into during this trip.

So now I have to try to find this burger joint that my sister recommended to me. Conveniently it's right down the block. I get there and it looks pretty legit but the seating area is tiny af and there were no empty tables. I didn't feel like dealing with all that so I went and found this Mongolian BBQ spot that was actually really good. I've determined that Prague is a foodie's paradise. Every single food place looks amazing.

The sun's down and it's dark af but this is exactly how I wanted it to be when I got to the Charles bridge. I make my way over there through the maze of wonderful architecture. Apparently the buildings are a mix of Roman, Baroque, Gothic, and a myriad of other styles. It's crazy because the way they illuminate these classic buildings with those yellow-orange (fluorescent?) light bulbs makes it feel like you're walking through Disneyland for the first time. Being here feels like I'm in the grown up version of Disneyland. I would go as far as to say that it feels magical, lol.

It was pretty fucking cold. 39° with a wind chill of 34°. But I got a hot chocolate from some street cafe and thugged it out. And I'm glad I did because walking up to and seeing Charles Bridge lit up for the first time is definitely one of the dopest experiences of my life. It feels like you're in the middle of a fantasy land.

The first thing you see is this huge tower at the near end of the bridge. Then you get closer and see Prague Castle off in the distance. Serious Disneyland vibes here. Anyone who tells me Disneyland wasn't inspired by Prague is a fucking liar.

Then you see the Vltava River flowing. The way the city lights flicker against the water. Weird ass statues (lol).

With it being late at night and the weather getting so cold, Charles bridge didn't have too many visitors. Which is right up my alley. I love solitude.

This isn't to say that it was peaceful and quiet, because there were hundreds of seagulls chillin on the river, screeching and hollering. It sounded like a huge seagull orgy lol.

That said, being there at that moment was a MOOD. Words can't really do it justice. I'll definitely be back here one day.

Going to Charles bridge at night is already one of the highlights of the trip. I honestly dgaf what I do tomorrow with my full day here because seeing Charles bridge like this made it worth it to come to Prague. That said, I plan on checking out some of the food spots that my sister recommended. Her and her boyfriend recommended some park on top of a hill overlooking the city that you can drink at. That sounds like it's RIGHT up my alley.

Hopefully I can do all that and go to a sports bar to catch the champions league games at night. Apparently Real Madrid just got knocked out by Ajax and I missed it. Let's hope Juventus don't advance either. That'd be the cherry on top of my already awesome Prague experience.

Tuesday, March 5th. Leaving Berlin

Another day that I woke up super early. This time at 4:30AM. I'm probably getting like 6.5 hours of sleep, which isn't ideal. I end up having to come back and take naps. Which isn't a big deal, but definitely isn't ideal. Hopefully my circadian rhythm catches up soon.

No breakfast today. I stayed up until 8:30AM before deciding to try to nap now instead of later on the train. After my nap I planned out the day. I wanted to get to Berlin Central Station by 12:15PM since my train to Prague left at 12:59PM.

I wanted to see Checkpoint Charlie which was walking distance from my hostel. I ended up taking the train and saved a couple of minutes. I got out of the train station and Checkpoint Charlie was right there. I think that feeling is one of my favorite feelings in the world. The moment you stumble into a destination/monument/whatever and see it for the first time is fucking nuts.

As for Checkpoint Charlie, it's okay. It's kind of what you expect. It's the little booth, with some historical monument looking stuff. The street it's on feels very tourist trappy. I went and took pictures with the guys dressed up as soldiers for €3. Totally a tourist trap ripoff, but fuck it!

I had about two hours to eat and get to Berlin Central Station. There was a currywurst spot that I passed that looked promising, but it didn't have seating. I was hoping to find somewhere I could chill for a bit and maybe find some WiFi.

Thankfully a McDonald's was right there! I know, I know, what kind of loser would go to McDonald's overseas? Lol. But it was perfect for what I was looking for! I didn't have any other German food that I wanted to try (I'm going to Munich in a couple of days anyway), it had a comfortable seating area, and had WiFi. I ordered some chicken wings and scarfed that shit down while game planning the rest of the day.

I made my way to the train station. One thing I'll note is that it's wonderful giving yourself able amounts of time to get to your destination. I'm backpacking so sometimes I'll walk super duper slow, leisurely and at my own pace. It's rough when you're in a rush and you have to make quick decisions in a pinch. My mommy always told us that it's better to be super early than to be right on time.

My mom's advice helped today because even though I gave myself plenty of time to get to the train station, actually getting to my train was a fucking nightmare. I arrived to this Berlin Central Station (which is fucking HUGE) and had to find a self service terminal to print my ticket out. It wasn't the easiest thing to do. I had studied the instructions that were emailed to me but they weren't very clear. They were sort of general tips instead of terribly specific instructions. Thankfully I found the self service terminal (though it was like finding a needle in a haystack) and printed my ticket.

The only issue is the ticket didn't list the platform that I needed to go to. I had noticed this issue in the emailed instructions, and surely enough here I was, having to figure out where the fuck to go to meet my train. It didn't help that there were like 20 different platforms, including the platforms for the local trains.

I looked for the giant board that announces arrivals and departures. For some reason it only listed arrivals up through like 12:20PM. With my train arriving at 12:59, this did me no good. Thankfully it was 12:00PM and I had plenty of time to spare.

I walked my ass from platform to platform, checking which trains were arriving at which time. These platform schedules showed trains that were arriving after mine. Which was good news because eventually I'd run into the platform that my train would arrive at and my worries would be put to rest.

Imagine my horror when I got to the last platform and I didn't see "Prague" or "Praha" on any of the arrival schedules. I was pisssssed!

I went back to the big board of Arrivals and they still weren't showing any arrivals past 12:40. Now I'm starting to judge this German train station. What happened to German engineering and efficiency!? The Japanese would NEVER let anything like this happen! Lol.

In situations like these, it helps to take a breather, sit down, and go over the facts. You know that the platform upstairs aren't the ones you're looking for because those are reserved for local trains. These underground platforms are definitely the ones you're looking for because all of these other destinations are in other countries or far away German cities. I sat down, drank some water, and figured I'd go back to the big board and eventually they'd have my train listed. They'd have to!

Finally it gets to 12:30, less than 30 minutes before my train departs, and my train is listed there. Platform 1. My stress levels subside and I head down there. I realize there's already a bunch of people inside the train already. How the fuck did they get there so early if they had just announced which platform the train would arrive at?

I finally figured out that this train on platform 1 was a delayed train to Munich. It was supposed to depart at 12:30 and still hadn't moved. I waited and waited and this train just wouldn't budge. It's already 12:50 and they haven't moved. So strange. 12:53 and they still haven't moved. So weird. I hear on the overhead speaker that the train to Prague was arriving. I thought "motherfucker, now I gotta wait for this Munich train to depart before I can get on my Prague train."

But without any prior announcement (that I heard, at least), another train pulls up on my opposite side, to platform 2. I see the sign and sure enough it's my Prague train. Right on time. Thank GOD. I get on the train and go on my merry way to Prague.

I wasn't expecting much from this particular train experience because I got a cheap second class ticket. Normally I would have splurged and gotten a first class ticket cuz I'm a first class BITCH like that lol. But iirc, first class tickets were damn near twice the price of second class tickets. I don't need more leg room THAT badly. The €39 second class tickets would more than do.

And it worked out pretty well! I was in a small car with six seats. Thankfully there were only three others in the car, so we all had a bunch of room. I was worried too, because the way the car was set up was like that creepy train ride they took in eurotrip. People came and went as we made a few stops but overall it was well worth the money. I bought first class tickets for two of my upcoming train rides so we'll see if that was money well spent.

Monday March 4th. Berlin

I woke up to my roommates talking about stuff. One guy was way too loud. I think he was drunk. Eventually I fall back asleep. I got up early, like 4:30. Showered and had breakfast at the cafe downstairs.

Went to the Brandenburg Gate. It was pretty surreal. That whole area is nuts. The Brandenburg Gate directly faces the Victory Column so I figured I might as well go there. This messed with my original plan to go to the Reichstag Building and Potsdamer Platz since they were both near the Brandenburg Gate. But whatever, spontaneity! Lol. That was a loooong ass walk. It was through a humongous park that was pretty cool. The park was full of trees that had no leaves, just the way that you always see in World War II movies. The Victory Column was really dope, especially the way the statue shines in the sun.

I walked back through the other side of the park to the Reichstag Building. When I finally got there I was pretty impressed. It looks so genuinely German. I wanted to go to the glass dome on top of the Reichstag but you have to book it in advance. I believe it's free as well. It's supposed to give a dope 360° view of the city and I loooove that stuff. Maybe I'll come back and see it one day.

Fortunately you don't have to make a reservation to go to the TV Tower. The TV Tower is tall af and you can see it from anywhere in the city. For some reason it reminds me Big Brother from "1984." I was able to make a reservation online anyway, which would save me time when I did get there.

From the Reichstag Building I walked towards Potsdamer Platz. Fortunately I ran into the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe on the way there. That place is trippy.

I finally got over to the Potsdamer Platz and it was a crazy contrast to the rest of Berlin. It felt so modern. It felt like Las Vegas mixed with New York. I dunno, it was some weird combination. They say that it's a good way to see how the separation of East and West Germany changed Berlin. One side modernized while the other started traditional.

The way that Berlin has combined the old architecture with the new is so refreshing, especially compared to Milan. The new and contemporary buildings here don't stick it like a sore thumb the way they do in Milan. They say that the level of bureacracy in Italy is ridiculous so I guess that's one hurdle that Milan has to overcome. I don't think Germany has the same level of bureacracy. If I had to guess, Germany seems like one of the most progressive countries I've ever been to. I feel like the quality of life here in Berlin is so high. I wasn't ridiculously excited about Berlin when I booked this trip, but it's definitely exceeded my expectations.

Anyway, I took a train over to the TV Tower. I had some more time to kill so I went to a döner spot. It was pretty good, but not ridiculously great. I didn't expect it to be because it was just a döner spot that was convenient. I headed over to the TV Tower which wasn't far. But on the way there the weather went crazy. There were craaazy strong winds, enough that we all had trouble walking. It was really fun lol. The wind stopped for 10 seconds and it immediately went into a crazy rain storm. Everyone had to rush indoors. I powered over to the TV Tower place and made my way through.

Even though I had only made a reservation two hours prior, the reservation saved me soooo much time. I skipped a bunch of long lines. The view was fucking amazing. The Eiffel Tower is still the dopest 360° view that I've ever seen, but The TV Tower was dope in its own way.

After that I started to feel tired again. I knew I still wanted to see Checkpoint Charlie and maybe go to a beer garden. But jetlag crept in so I figured I'd go back to the hostel to recharge. I took a quick nap and headed out. I stepped out the front door and was greeted with another fucking rain storm. Weather changes here so much in such a short span of time. It's honestly a welcome feeling for me, since we don't get extreme weather in San Diego. I ended up drinking beer in the common area of my hostel. Once the rain calmed down, I headed over to the Adidas store which thankfully was only three train stops away. I shopped at a couple stores before buying a beanie at Adidas. I wanted gloves but they didn't have any in my size. I would have gotten Nike gloves but you can't wear Adidas and Nike together! Lol. I figure I'll just get some gloves at the Adidas in Prague 😀.

I went to get schnitzel for dinner. I went to this highly rated restaurant and honestly, schnitzel isn't much to write home about. I'm taking currywurst over schnitzel any day of the week. I do think that I would get tired of currywurst if I had it all the time, but for someone who's only in town for two nights, currywurst was fucking AMAZING.

My train doesn't leave Berlin for Prague until 12:45PM tomorrow. I'm hoping I can go to Checkpoint Charlie (walking distance from my hostel) and get one more good meal in before I leave. Might have to fuck around and get currywurst one more time, lol

Sunday March 3rd. Berlin

I stayed up most of the night, didn't get much rest. Got up early and got breakfast. Checked out early and got going because it would take a long time to get to the airport for my flight to Berlin. Only so many trains ran that early in the morning.

Got to the train station, transferred. Almost forgot to validate my ticket. Got to the airport. Almost got off at the wrong terminal. Security wouldn't let you past with more than one bag. This caught me off guard. Who knew easyjet was stricter than TSA? Lol. I was super worried that I wouldn't be able to fit everything into the big bag my sister lent me, but thankfully it did.

The one bag thing threw a wrench in my timing and now I was running late. I had to hustle to the gate (which was the furthest gate away. Because of course it was) because it was already boarding. I get to the gate and they're still checking people in. They weren't letting anyone on yet but the good news was I didn't miss my flight.

And then they started measuring people's baggage. It had to fit in that stupid metal box thing. I knew for a fact that my big ass bag wouldn't fit in it, especially after the Frankenstein experiment I did after security gave me shit for having more than one bag. I figured they'd charge me to check my bag in. They'd even charge me extra because my bag was bigger than regulation. Thankfully the strict woman who was checking people's baggage didn't end up checking with me. I got in and everything worked out. WHEW.

I land in Berlin and it's cold and light rain. Just as I would have expected from Berlin. I dunno why I always expected Berlin to be cold with slight rain, but here we are. I probably have seem too many WW2 movies lol.

I'm jetlagged and it's affecting my decision making. It took me far longer than it should have to figure out how to get my train ticket and which trains to take to get to my hostel. I run into that PIN issue with paying for my train ticket with my credit card (wtf!) so I use my debit card. I had no choice but to eat a foreign transaction fee. Whateverrrrr. Finally make it to the hostel and the staff is great. They offer me coffee and water (I take water), give me a map, and explain the surrounding areas. Seriously great experience with the hostel staff.

I get to my hostel room that I'm sharing with 7 strangers. Such a weird experience. I feel like I'm in college again lol. I'm jetlagged and I know it's affecting my experience because my body's sore and tired. My navigating skills aren't as sharp as they typically are.

But I say fuck it. As badly as I want to, i can't just sleep now. It would ruin my sleep schedule. Plus I would wake up at like midnight and wouldn't be able to do shit. That would effectively ruin a full day's worth of being in Berlin.

So I venture off to find some German food. On the way there I figure I found rectify my credit card PIN situation, so I call my credit card company and finally figure out how to change my PIN on my credit card. I later saw that I could have done that on my banking app lol.

There's good doner (don't ask me to use the proper German letters cuz I don't know that shit and I'm too lazy to Google and copy/paste lol) and currywurst nearby. I walk in that direction and try to figure out what the move was. These random young German girls stop me and talk to me in German. They looked like johavah's witnesses. I stop them and say in English that I don't understand them. Turns out they actually we're Jehovah's witnesses. They were 20 and 19 years old from Utah and Virginia and we talked briefly about their experiences as Americans abroad. They showed me where the currywurst was and were generally nice about everything. Funny experience considering my old supervisor is Mormon. I also saw Book of Mormon on Broadway last October so it was a funny experience for me. I know Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons are different, but still.

I found a liquor store and figured I should fill my ThermoFlask. Had to make sure I didn't get water with gas in it, like I did in Milan.

With the Jehovah's witnesses' help I found the currywurst spot. There's a bank next door so I withdraw money from my credit card. Typically you never want to withdraw money from your credit card but I think my card (NFCU Visa flagship rewards) is an exception to the rule. I've lowkey been excited to see if it really is fine to withdraw money from it while overseas. If I'm wrong and I eat a fee, then fuck ittt.

I finally get to the currywurst spot and it's fucking AMAZING. Hands down one of the best experiences on this trip so far. It felt like super good drunk food. You buy the currywurst and eat it at these table stands. Felt like a genuine Berlin experience. The currywurst was so good too! It's sausage that came with fries. They put some weird seasoning (I don't think it was real curry. At the very least it wasn't spicy) as well as ketchup and mayo on top. It was fucking delicious. Super filling too. If I was with someone it definitely would have been a situation where you split one between yourselves.

I figured I was already in the direction of the East Side Gallery (longest reasoning stretch of the Berlin Wall) so I might as well check it out. It looks like it might start to rain but momma didn't raise no bitch! So I took the train over.

Sidenote: Berlin's train system is pretty dope. It runs on the honor system, is efficient, and is just so well run. Color me impressed.

I get off the train and start heading towards the East Side Gallery and of course it's raining hard now. Not terrible hard, but enough to be annoying. I wait it out in hopes that the rain will let up eventually but it never does. I decide to thug it out and go anyway. It honestly isn't that impressive lol. The art is cool but I don't think I'm much of an art guy. Or at least not a big painting guy. It was a dope experience regardless but I didn't stick around too long because of the rain.

I wanted to get to a sports bar to watch the Napoli-Juventus game but that wasn't for another couple of hours. There was a sports bar nearby but they were sitting a German Bundesliga game between two shitty teams that I didn't care about. I decided to chill at a Starbucks while I figure out what the gameplan was for the rest of the night. After a while I figured I'd call it an early night and get an early start on the next morning.

Saturday, March 2nd. Milan

Woke up tired from all the travel. Went to breakfast(which wasn't bad). Went back and planned on doing things in Milan, but ended up taking a nap. Woke up, went to the Duomo and galleria. Has gelato. Went straight to San Siro from there.

I was supposed to take one train and transfer over to another train but the trains were packed. I decided to walk instead of taking the second train. It was only 2.3 km, not that far at all. Saved money. I didn't have that many euros either.

I walked up and when I finally saw the San Siro, it really was magical. It's kind of breathtaking, but that might be just because I'm a Milan fan.

I walked around the stadium just to get a feel. I went in early, but they wouldn't let me in with my battery pack. They said it was too big. I asked if I could store it somewhere and they said I had to ask someone from one of the kiosks. Wtf!

I bought a beer and the worker kept the battery pack there.

Impressions from the game:

The players seem much taller in person. The goal and box seem way closer in person. The chants are just as amazing as you would expect.

Ugly game but the important thing is we got the three points. Now we've leapfrogged inter and we're in third! Amazing.

I was so glad when I returned to the beer kiosk and the lady gave me back my battery pack. I figured the trains would be even more packed than before, so I walked back to the train station that I took on the way there. But I didn't have many euros and any time I tried to pay for my ticket with my credit card, the machine asked for my PIN. But I've never set up a PIN for my credit card, so it wouldn't accept my card. I didn't feel like trying to fix the situation while hundreds of people were coming through the station, waiting in line behind me.

So I went to the nearby McDonald's and ate real quick. I came back, paid for my ticket with euros (iirc) and came back to the hotel. They weren't showing the roma-lazio game at the restaurant bar, so I called it a night. I didn't get much sleep and it hurt my sleep schedule.

My general impression of Milan is that it isn't my favorite city (shoutout to Barcelona). It feels like it's outdated? Not contemporary enough for my liking? I dunno. The architecture is underwhelming. You can tell that smog has taken its toll on the buildings and the city in general. There are some nicer buildings but they stick out like a sore thumb. And not in a good way. They've got to find a way to mesh the old with the new here. There's a ton of graffiti. Not a bad or good thing, but there's a ton of graffiti.

I don't think Milan as a city sucks though. I clearly love AC Milan. I'm just not that into fashion or art like that. I will be back to catch a Milan game when we're finally back in champions league, where we belong. Matter of fact, I'll be back sooner than that. I'll be back in two weeks for the Derby Della Madonnina. *AIRHORN*

Friday, March 1st. Milan

Got in through security with TSA pre-check, solid first experience.

Waited forever for flight. Flight wasn't full. Three seats in row ahead of us were empty. Maybe it was just a party of three that missed the flight.

Lufthansa experience was solid. The in flight entertainment was really good. Seat was tiny though.

Landed in Frankfurt. That airport is fuck humongous. Which is cool except for when you have to get to the opposite side of the terminal for a connecting flight. Plus they changed the gate on me.

Landed in Milan malpensa. That airport isn't impressive at all. Took a long ass train to Milan Central (maybe one hour long).

Arrived in Milan Central, had to figure out how to get to the hotel. The plan was to take a metro train but the line to buy tickets was long af. And I didn't have any euros on me so I might have needed to convert my dollars before buying a ticket.

So I said fuck it and walked it. It was 5km away. Got a decent feel for this side of the city. It was a long ass walk though, especially with my huge ass backpacks.

Finally checked in. Took a shower and headed to casa Milan. Bought a scarf. Then headed to a super market to get snacks and water. Got some bread and water. Only issue is I forgot to make sure it was flat water. Now I have a 12 pack of gas water. It's not terrible but damn I wish I had flat water.

Went downstairs to the hotel restaurant/bar. Watched inter lose 2-1 to Cagliari. Woohoo!

Tennis

I promise to never be an obstacle to you becoming the person you need to be. I always want to like, help you along your path, to like, being the best you can be.

When we say yours conditionally,
These are unconditional promises of love.




This album is absolute crack btw.

Mac Miller

This was saved in my drafts. Unleash the drafts!

Mac Miller's death is fucking me up. I've never really been a fan of his. His music always felt like fratboy chic. His voice was too grating for me. His fan base felt like those guys who are into that "real hip hop, not the bullshit on the radio nowadays."

But his last few projects were really good! I still wanted to hate on him, but the projects were so good that a hater like myself couldn't deny how good the art was. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't objectively say that his music was bad!

And that's exactly what the fucking artists should do. Make an end product that's so undeniably good that even your detractors have no choice but to like it!

So now he's got me on his side. I'm at parties telling people how good his last album was. How he's talking about his personal and mental health issues and how is clearly genuine, not someone who's jumping on a hot topic.

And then news breaks that he's passed away from an apparent overdose. My friend tells the group chat and I read it after coming back from a meeting. The news fucks me up for the rest of the day! I can't focus at work anymore. All I can do is think about how sad this is. He was 26! So much life in front of him, so much potential, so much great art he can give to the world. He could have continued to turn haters into believers.

But drug abuse robbed the world of that.

You need to tell your loved ones that you love them. You never know, you might miss the opportunity to tell them for the last time.

And don't tell them that you love them with the expectation that they'll say the same back. They say that telling someone you love them is more of a question than a statement. More than telling them that you love them, you're really asking them if they love you back.

But fuck that! Tell your loved ones that you love them without any expectation of anything in return. Half the time I tell my loved ones that I love them, I don't even care too much what their response is. Even if they do respond and tell me that they love me, I take it with a grain of salt and think "you're only saying that because I forced your hand." My mind is so fucked up lol

Let Me Be Your Therapy

This song is amazing. It does a great job of capturing the feeling of coming home to your boo and releasing all of your stress from the day.

Yeah fuck that, this is to amazing to not post. And once i quit bullshitting I'm going to figure out how to post the video directly instead of the link lol

https://youtu.be/hC8CH0Z3L54

Brian's Toast

Ladies and gentlemen, can I get a minute of your time? For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Ryan, Brian’s neighbor and good friend. We grew up on the same street and have known each other for our entire lives.

First of all I want to thank everyone for being able to make it here today. Some people have come from far and wide to attend today’s ceremonies. Angie made it here from North Carolina. Missy’s here from Japan. For them and for everyone else who had to travel to make it tonight, let's make some noise.

I’d also like to thank everyone who could make today possible. Breanna’s parents, Lonnie and Karen White, where are you guys at? You guys raised a tremendous woman who we’re celebrating today, so let’s make some noise for them. Brian’s parents Mr. Jones and Angie, let’s make some noise for you guys. You guys raised brian the right way and now we're here on his wedding day. Let’s also make noise for all of us here in attendance today. Make some noise for yourselves! We’re here not only to celebrate Brian and Breanna’s marriage, but to celebrate two families coming together and becoming one. We all have busy schedules and it’s not always easy to get everyone gathered together, so the fact that we can all be here to celebrate Brian and Breanna’s wedding day is nothing short of beautiful. And while we’re making noise, can we make some noise for Breanna’s dress? That dress has gotta be one of the nicest wedding dresses I’ve ever seen.

I’ve known Brian for his entire life, and our friendship is priceless to me. We’ve been there for the highs, the lows, the good times, the bad times. As kids we were always playing sports, playing video games, spending time at each other’s houses. Basketball, football, Madden, you name it, we played it. As a side note, you might not believe this but we would play these games and I would always win. He might tell you different, but that’s the truth. Needless to say, I’ve known Brian’s qualities, flaws, errors, achievements.

Anyone who’s ever known Brian knows that he’s one of the funniest guys you’ll ever meet. Once he gets comfortable with you, he’s always good for cracking jokes, talking trash, making fun of one another, making fun of the situation. He’s absolutely got one of the best senses of humor you’ll ever see.

What might not apparent to someone who just met him is how good a friend he is. He’s incredibly loyal. He’s always been there for me. My Dad passed away when I was 11. It was tough, but he was there for me. When I first started talking to girls and didn’t know what to do, he was there for me. When I broke up with my ex and was heartbroken, he was there for me.  He’s ALWAYS there for me. He may not know what to say, he may not know what to do, but he’s always there for me. And so Breanna, I’m sure you already know this, but in Brian you’ve got one of the most loyal friends in the world.

So I’ve known him all my life. I know that he’s the best friend that someone can ask for. And Breanna, although I haven’t known you as long as I would’ve liked, I can tell by the way that he looks at you and smiles at you that you’re the one for him. Anyone who knows him knows that he’s always smiling, but the way that he looks at you and smiles at you is DIFFERENT. He’s happier now. His jokes are funnier now. I can tell that you balance him out in a way that he’s never been before. And now he’s yours and you are his. You guys are bound together for the rest of your lives, through sickness and in health, til death do you part.

So I say this from the bottom of my heart and on behalf of Brian’s friends and family: Take care of him. He’s a handful, but you can do it. He likes to talk trash. God forbid you bring up the Raiders, he’ll talk your ear off. But know that you’re the right woman to keep him in check and deal with him. You're the woman to bring him back down to earth.

So please, take care of him. We know that he’ll take care of you. He’s chosen you to be the one he confides in, the one he can be vulnerable to, the one he can be his real self with. There’s value in that. He may not know the answers to everything, but he works hard and will do whatever it takes to find the answers.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to propose a toast to Brian and Breanna. May they have years and years of health, wealth, and happiness!

The Game of Love

Mis amigos y yo fuimos a San Francisco el verano pasado. My friends told me that I snored SUPER loud(not the first time I've been told this). So my friend talked to me and told me I needed to see a doctor. I went and sure enough, he diagnosed me with sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea is a condition where you stop breathing while you sleep. Kaiser had me take home a CPAP machine to measure whether or not I had sleep apnea. So I took it home and tried it out. You wear this mask thing that keeps a breathing apparatus on your nose. I brought the machine back and they measured the results. They told me that the machine measures how often you stop breathing per hour, with "not breathing" being defined as an event of not breathing for 10 seconds. They said that <5 15="" 5="" 95="" about="" and="" anything="" apnea.="" apnea="" between="" br="" crazy="" doctor="" don="" events="" fine="" got="" had="" have="" having="" hour.="" hour="" how="" i="" is="" mild="" more="" my="" per="" proceed.="" results="" should="" sleep="" t="" talk="" than="" that="" they="" to="" you="" your="">
So they gave me a CPAP machine to take home and I wear it to sleep every night now. I guess while you're awake, your muscles keep your airway open. When you go to sleep, those muscles relax and no longer keep your airway open. Since my muscles weren't keeping my airway open, the CPAP machine does it for me.

What's crazy is that before having this CPAP machine, I just wouldn't have dreams. I guess I should say that I didn't remember my dreams. Apparently everyone has dreams, it's just that some people don't remember having them. So now that I have a CPAP machine, my sleep has gotten much better and I feel much more rested every day. One of the results of that is that finally start to remember my dreams now. 

Last night, I had a dream that mi familia y yo went to the Philippines for a family reunion. We actually are going this coming December, but that's neither here nor there. So we went on an airplane and it feels like we're about halfway there, when the plane starts nosediving. I've been in crazy turbulence, so I wasn't freaking out all that bad. I figured the pilot would finally get the plane under control and things would be all right. Well things didn't get better and we continued to nosedive. I started counting in eights, which is what I normally do when I'm nervous. So I start counting 8, 16, 24, 32, and on and on. The tv screens on the plane start flashing and telling us to brace for impact. EVERYONE'S screaming at this point. For whatever reason, I was just bracing and counting in eights, not interested in freaking out. My counting gets to 112 before the plane FINALLY corrects and we get back to a regular glide. As an aside, I'm curious how long a plane at normal cruising altitude could stay in a nosedive before finally crashing to earth. At any rate, I look out the window, and we're DANGEROUSLY low. We're maybe a couple hundred feet above the water and we're not getting any higher. The plane is slowly losing altitude, but gliding. Thankfully we see land and for some reason we aren't able to get the landing gear out, so we have to crash land. Thankfully the pilot gets us there safe and no one dies. We get out, thank the pilot, and go on our merry way, lol. 

We got to our little town in the Philippines and go to the market. For some reason, there's like SQUADS of police in military gear, walking around with rifles. It looks like some dystopian shit. My sister's boyfriend is Mexican and so he stands out a little bit in our Filipino town. We sat down to eat at a cheap restaurant and the police came and surrounded us. Some shit was definitely about to go down, when I woke up.

I say all that to say this: having dreams after years of not having any dreams is CRAZY. It all feels so real. I'm on the fence about whether or not dreams signify anything, but if they do, then what did this dream signify? Why was I so calm when the plane was in a nosedive? Am I just a cold-blooded motherfucker(lol)? Am I freaking suicidal?

Whatever the case, I'm so glad to have dreams again.

Reminder

I feel like things had been happening to me. I wasn't really experiencing things, they would just happen to me and I would respond. Instead of actively participating, I would just sit back as different events occurred in my life. They would occur and I would respond accordingly.

I realized recently that this isn't a great way to live. I don't feel nearly as *alive* as I used to. I didn't know how to break out of this slump though. I would reach different breakthroughs, however. I remember feeling great because I realized that all of the resources I needed were there for me(mainly my friends and family). But I would struggle with how to utilize those resources. I would talk to my friends and family but i wouldn't really make any progress.

I'm not sure what's changed in my life, but I just feel different now. Different in a good way. Instead of letting things happen to me and responding, I'm actively participating. I'm taking action. I'm being proactive in a way that I haven't in years. It feels great.

I think part of it has to do with the fact that I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. I would stop breathing(10 seconds or more) 95.5 times an hour. That's WILD. Surely that had an effect on my everyday life.

Now that I've been diagnosed and started treatment in the form of a CPAP machine, I've felt a lot better. I wouldn't say the difference is night and day, but it's absolutely noticeable. I don't fall asleep at work anymore. I've been having much more meaningful conversations. Not only have I been more physically active, I've felt better as I exercise.

I feel a lot more normal. It feels like I've reached a mountain peak and I get to look down(or back) on the world below. I'm reluctant to say that I'm *okay* now, because I felt that I was okay many times before, only to find that I still had a ways to go. But I do feel very optimistic with how things are progressing.

I've found that I've experienced a lot of love from different friends and family. I also have to give credit to my primary care doctor and seeing a therapist. Seeing them has helped me sort out what's real, what's not, and how I can improve.

There's a lot of music out there about how love is the only thing that's real and worth striving for. Money and possessions are awesome but at the end of the day love is all you really have(or something corny like that, lol). I've been fucking with that message so much lately. Yeah.

I feel good. I feel happy. I felt joy today for the first time in foreverrrrr

Siegfried

I'm a big believer that you've got to go through the struggles in order to appreciate the peaks. Sometimes you have to suck it up and take it on the chin. You learn and you grow from that kind of thing.

I don't like it when people take the approach that they need to get better as soon as possible. You should take the bad with the good. You can try to do whatever it takes to feel better ASAP, but I feel like you won't genuinely feel okay. It's okay to be down in the dumps(healthy even, in spurts). Take your lumps and when you're ready, get back to killing shit.

Summer Friends

It's no secret that I've been having a rough time for a while now. I had a lot of good stuff that I'd write but i wouldn't post it cuz this blog would turn into the most EMO of emo blogs.

But i do regret not posting them. It'd be like when an artist drops a real dope, dark album out of no where. I missed out on a chance to chronicle how i really felt during one of the darkest times in my life.

I will say this though. One of the biggest things I've learned while gong through it is that family and friends really are the most important things in my life.

I never saw why it was dope important that you be at every hangout, every party that you're invited to. There's always next party. I'll see you motherfuckers then.

Now that I'm older and the chances to see each other are lessening, I see the value in all of us being together, reminiscing and building memories together. If you miss the birthday party, you might miss out on the one chance you get to see your old college friend. You might not be able to see them again for another couple of years.

So try not to make excuses to not see people. Shared experiences come few and far between the more we grow and tack on more responsibilities.

Be there for each other, tell your loved ones that you love them, and appreciate the times you get to spend together, no matter how often it is. God bless

One In A Million

Listen to One In A Million (dvsn remix) by dvsn #np on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/dvsndvsn/one-in-a-million-dvsn-remix

This reminds me, I gotta make a "late Sunday night driving home and thinking about how your next girl has no IDEA what she's getting into" playlist. Lol

Skipping Stones

https://youtu.be/_mcJaH0XJMg

Holler at chore motherfucking ghorl!

Wolves

There's a point in everyone's life where your parents are no longer the perfect beings that you look up to. It used to be "momma knows best" or " I know pops will have my back!"

Now you're witnessing as your mom is losing her memory and your dad just cussed out this poor restaurant worker for a simple mistake. Now you feel responsible for them. Now it's on you to take care of them.

But wait, these are my parents, they're supposed to take care of me, not the other way around. Wtf is going on?

I remember I had a high school teacher who had a nervous breakdown and told us how he was struggling. He said there's a point in your life in your 30's where you're stuck in between three generations. You're 30 years old, competing with your peers. You want a better job, better car, better relationship than them. You also have parents who are aging and you have to take care of them. On top of all of this, you're a brand new parent and you have to figure out how the fuck to raise a baby. Add all of this together and ain't no way BUT to feel absolutely FUCKED.

Well fuck you Mr. Hardin, that shit doesn't wait til your 30's. I've got a friend whose dad attempted suicide. Cops busted down his door, sent him to the hospital, the whole 9. Meanwhile, my friend was working thousands of miles away, unable to come help the situation. Thank God everything worked out in the end, but how the fuck are we supposed to deal with something like that?

I have another friend who's working hard to support him and his parents. He's working hundreds of miles away and the only way to help his dad with his mentally ill mom is an occasional phone call and visit every couple of months. He talked to me about it and we were able to get both of his parents on Medi-Cal and CalFresh. His dad thanked him and I because his mother was able to get the medical attention she needed and now his dad has been getting the best sleep he's gotten in years. Thank God everything worked out in the end, but again, how the fuck are we supposed to deal with something like that?

I have a post buried somewhere deep in this blog(too lazy to find and link to it) talmbout how maturity doesn't come until you're not ready for it. That absolutely applies here. Me and my friends are in our mid 20's, struggling to get our acts together. Meanwhile, life is hitting us hard and we gotta deal with taking care of our parents. Our parents used to be a symbol of strength, safety, and togetherness. Now we can't look at our parents without seeing a shell of their former selves.

No longer does my mom's advice scare me because I'm scared of how she'll react if I don't follow what she says. Her soon to be 55 year old soul just doesnt elicit the same fear in me that it used to. She used to yell at me and it would physically shake me. She probably stands like 5 foot nothing, but she always commanded this fear and respect from me.

Now that I'm getting older my mom isn't passing off this facade that she's this all wonderful person. She's allowing me to see the more human side of her, and its scary. Now I see why my parents were so quick to make me respect my grandparents. I'll always remember taking my grandpa to his cancer radiation treatments, and my dad would always tell the nurses and doctors, "be careful, he's the only one I got left."

What's cool is that through all of this, I've grown an even deeper appreciation for every little thing I get to do with my family. Any time we take a walk together, any time we get to take time out of our busy schedules to have dinner together, any time we get to spend together period, I'm appreciating it more and more.

My mom's been a manager for years and years and years now. I just had dinner with her at the mall(Genghis Khan all day erryday) and told her about my struggles as a trainer at my job. She was able to listen to me and give me great advice on how to proceed. I'm soooo appreciative of the fact that even though I'm old and grown and the list of things she's able to school me on is getting smaller and smaller, we were able to connect and have another mother-son conversation that I'll always remember.

When was the point that you realized your dad wasn't as strong and sharp as he used to be? My dad died when I was 11, so I never got to see much of that, but I think it's an interesting question to pose to people my age.

Small Talk

http://pic.twitter.com/gGiKjF8pKO Corny Ryan might be making a comeback y'all.

I Got A New One For Ya

"I'm content, I'm not bitter, I'm happy. I reached all my goals."

-Momma Bear Manalili

Look out world, i aint gotta worry about momma bear. Commence the fuckery!

Sasuga!

I spent most of 2015 heartbroken and depressed. Mind you, I never was diagnosed with depression by a doctor or anything, I just had a lot of symptoms you see in someone who's depressed. (As an aside, I do believe it's disrespectful to people who are going through depression to jokingly say you're depressed, if you know fully well that you're not.)

Anyway, I felt a lot of conflicting emotions. I didn't know how to deal with things. Every day and every week felt like a struggle. I felt like I was drowning. Any chance I got to grab my breath, I took. I felt out of control and it was stressful.

To complicate things, I was experiencing burnout at work. It was weird because I love my job and I love coming to work. Anyone I work with will tell you that I always walk around smiling like a fucking weirdo.

However, I was working too hard. I didn't take a real vacation from June 2014(Copa Del Mundo en Rio De Janeiro, holla!) til Christmas 2015(Philippines). I would both dread and love coming to work. On one hand, work was my safe haven, where I was good at what I did, everyone loved me, and I didn't feel so much like I was drowning and gasping for air. On the other hand, I needed a fucking break.

I learned that I'm a fucking weirdo because I would show up to work even if I was sick. I would rather be at work being productive and helping people, than at home JOKOing and playing video games. I'm so selfish that I would rather put my coworkers at risk of being sick than stay home, call in sick, and recover. Really weird, contradictory feelings here.

I also started to feel the phenomena (there's gotta be a name for it but I can't think of it) of "I go to work, I come home, I pay my bills, and that's my entire week. I don't do anything meaningful to me aside from my career. I felt like I was living to work instead of working to live."

That really bugged me because having been blessed enough to have traveled around to many places, one of the main things I've learned is that many Americans work too hard and don't put enough focus on enjoying the other things in life. There's more to my life than my career. Somehow I turned into someone I spent so long avoiding.

There's a theory called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs that I've always been interested in. I'm probably going to butcher this(we dont like to fact check too much on this blog, lol), but the gist of it is we as humans need to meet our basic needs before we can address bigger, grand scheme kinds of things. It's imagined as a pyramid. At the bottom of the pyramid are the absolute basics we need to survive, like feeling secure enough to know that no animal is going to come and bite my head off in the next 30 seconds. Once I feel secure enough with that, I need to feel safe enough to take care of basic bodily functions like pissing and shitting. Once I get that taken care of, the next level up is something like building meaningful relationships with others. You can't reach one level until every other level below it is taken care of.

Eventually, you reach the self-actualization stage where you can start thinking about philosophy, mankind, earth, and big picture theories. I feel like I was able to reach this stage in college. I didn't necessarily have my shit together, but I was taking care of myself enough to think a lot about  random, crazy things. Coincidentally, a lot of those things ended up in this blog.

Anyway, during my drowning period, I never really thought about the crazy things that I would when I was still in college. I was too busy worrying about what the next hour, day, week had in store with me and how I was going to deal. It was really weird how every hour, day, week would blend into the next. I was just showing up to places without really being present. Next thing I know, the day is over. The week is over. Jesus Christ, six fucking months have passed, and I dunno what I really have to show for it.

So now I can say with confidence that I'm working my way out of that weird slump. I'm a little disappointed because I don't get to blog about anything that I feel is worthy of posting when I'm in that weird drowning state. But now your boy is BACK and I's gon' keep posting that provocative and interesting SHIET for yalls(and mostly my) reading entertainment!

Learn from each other

I've talked before about how important it is to consider who you talk to first about something. I'll find the link later and link it to this post(or maybe I won't! Fuck you! lol). Like when you come back from a first date and start talking to your friends about it, they help you digest and figure out what happened and how to deal with what happened. The person you choose to share that experience with has a good amount of say on how you feel about that first date.

On a semi-related note, I've seen advice that you should be careful about venting to your friends and relatives about your significant other. You don't want to tell your best friend about each and every fight you have with your significant other, because fighting and conflict is natural in any relationship. Eventually you're going to tell your best friend about 500 different fights, and your best friend might start to think your significant other is a fucking douchebag, when in reality you guys are just going through the typical growing pains that any couple goes through.

So you don't want to tell any one person about each and every fight that you and your SO go through, great. But how do you go about it so you're not just holding everything in? I guess the best way to go about it is to spread the wealth and go to different people each time. But what if you only want advice(or simply to be heard) from one or two people? Everyone else gives you shitty advice or is a bad listener? What then?

That's an interesting decision that any boyfriend or girlfriend has to make. I dunno why this interests me so much but it does.

In other news, new Majid Jordan in a couple of weeks, new Kanye in February, and new Mayer later this spring. Let's. Fucking. GO.

Yeah.

Listen to Too Deep by dvsn #np on #SoundCloud http://soundcloud.com/dvsndvsn/too-deep