Casper

In my creative writing class, I was assigned to do a quick "50 things about me" list. These are normally sorta boring to me, but I came up with some really cool stuff, imo. Btw, I'm planning on putting more stuff up from this class, seeing as we have so many assignments

1. My full name is Ryan Malit Manalili
2. I was born on November 20, 1990
3. I was born in Paradise Valley Hospital in San Diego, California
4. I attended Mary McLeod Bethune Elementary
5. I attended William H. Standley Middle School
6. I attended University City High School
7. I am currently attending school at the University of California, Riverside
8. I have a dog named Teddy
9. I’ve worked the past two summers at a restaurant in Sea World San Diego
10. I have an older sister named Jamie
11. My sister was named after my father Jaime
12. I was originally going to be named after my mother Pancita, but my parents decided that Pancito wasn’t a very good name for me
13. My father died of acute myeloid leukemia when a month before my 12th birthday
14. I’ve had one girlfriend in my lifetime
15. My personal blog is located at tonightsaspirations.blogspot.com
16. I am a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers
17. I am a fan of the San Diego Chargers
18. I am a fan of the musician Drake
19. I own a Mytouch 3G
20. I drive a 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS
21. I received a speeding ticket for going 110 mph
22. My video game of choice right now is “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2”
23. My favorite movie at the moment is “500 Days of Summer”
24. My favorite song at the moment is “My Turn” by Basement Jaxx
25. The last time I checked, I stood at 5 foot, 9 inches tall
26. The last time I checked, I weighed 186 pounds
27. My favorite tv show at the moment is “Jersey Shore”
28. I have a soft spot for romantic comedies
29. I’ve never cried over a movie
30. I’ve cried only once for as far as I can remember
31. My nickname at the moment is “That guy rye rye”
32. I feel like I can relate to dragons
33. If I had to name my biggest source of motivation, it’d be my mother
34. I love women’s fashion, especially during winter
35. I was asked to describe my wildest fantasy, and I had/still have no clue how to answer
36. I’m a firm believer that you can learn a lot about somebody by playing/competing with them
37. One of the most frustrating feelings I’ve ever felt is the feeling I get when I can ‘t find the words to say
38. I like to freestyle in my head in my free time
39. I’m terrible at math
40. I love philosophy, sociology, psychology
41. I don’t think I’m very artistically inclined, but I like to think that I can very much appreciate art
42. I can’t think of anything I’m afraid of, but I wouldn’t be someone that you would describe as fearless
43. I enjoy feeling awkward with friends/people in general
44. One of the biggest things I look for in a good listener is the questions they ask after receiving information
45. Sometimes I’m convinced that I’m bipolar
46. I enjoy picking apart arguments
47. My parents are both immigrants from the Philippines
48. I want to learn the German language
49. At the moment, I am a level 29 on prestige level in “Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2”
50. If I had to, I would label the group of kids that I hung out with as “semi-cool Filipino kids”

How Bad I Wanna Be There

I don't give you the time you deserve from me. This is something I know, I know, I know.

Last Thing on My Mind

Find little things that are unique about you and that you like about yourself. Then keep pushing those things until you become a very unique individual. We have no option but to conform to many things, so those few unique things about you become very valuable. It's just as beneficial to conform as it is stray from the norm, but more often than not, it's much more fun to be different.

Right?

I don't tell you what you want to hear. So it peeves me when you turn to the person that will tell you what you want to hear, even if it's not what you need to be hearing at the moment.

/emo rant

I'm About to Break All the Rules

But don't tell anybody :)




What do I find comfort in?

What do I find value in?

Reality is objective; it exists regardless of what we do or do not think.

"I don't feel comfortable in my own body."

You had to be there to understand. So let me put you there.

College Dropout

Say what you will about Kanye West, but he is a tremendous artist. The artistic decisions he's made and continues to make are fuckin craaaaazy.

can you work without a second for some fun

quick to do list:

get a nickname
go rock climbing
Picnic basket
American X
big ass blackboard/whiteboard
La jolla children's pool
birch aquarium
go to venice beach
golf
panda inn
six flags
acoustic guitar

Well Hey

"It’s important to have a sense of occasion, which people have lost. There’s a great book called Sex and Suits, by Anne Hollander. She talks about tuxedos and says if all the men in the room are wearing dinner clothes then instead of making them all look the same it actually emphasizes their differences. I think people really miss that, not formality, but having a standard. It doesn’t make you a victim if you’re wearing a suit and tie."

-The style guy, Mr. Glenn

Schick

I'm starting to have to shave everyday. At first, it made me think about how old I'm getting. But it also made me realize that I'm no where near as mature and grown as I'd like to be. This is definitely something to think about as the new year approaches.

It's Been a Pleasure

I've been in a bad mood lately, and it's definitely been affecting my behavior. I stay very, very quiet, and a lot of the things that I do say are either really negative or come out sounding soooo wrong. I've never noticed myself being like this with a bad mood. It's all really intriguing; it says a lot about who I am and who I'm not. I hope to break out of this slump soon. I know how I am, and I know that I don't like it. Now it's just a matter of what I'm going to do about it.

Vision

Ideally, music artists wouldn't have to be held down by being pressured to release albums/mixtapes. They should release music as they make it. It shouldn't matter that any particular artist is more popular than another. It shouldn't matter who sells more albums. It should all come down to whether or not each particular song is good or not. They shouldn't make music unless it comes to them.

Fanaticism

Music and sports both have things in common with religion. So it should come as no wonder that a lot of people become ignorant when those two are brought up. Many negative qualities that are reflected when religion is the topic of conversation, can be seen when talking about sports and music.

Cutesies

One thing I learned today is that one of my main sources of motivation is my Mom. She is just like Kobe in that she is sooooo dedicated to her craft and her work ethic is unrivaled. Earlier tonight, when my family went out to dinner, she was passing down words of advice about her dedication, her willingness to grow and learn. I've definitely got to keep those things in mind as I move forward and grow as a person.

Another thing I noticed: the weird, awkward way that I tell stories(smiling, random eye contact, distorted/random faces, awkward gestures) can be traced to my Mom. hahahaha

Desire

Lay your head on my pillow
Here you can be yourself
No one has to know what you are feeling
No one but me and you

I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep your secrets
Just think of me as the pages in your diary

Lyrics never look as good on paper as they do when they're being sung. This is some beautiful shit right here, and I was hoping to do it justice by posting the lyrics here, but it just isn't the same.

This song reminds me of some of the benefits of being in a relationship, namely being able to vent to someone who genuinely cares about your wellbeing.

I also miss listening to someone's problems and genuinely caring about them. As shallow as that sounds, I truly don't care about anyone else's problems as much as my significant other's. If it were any other way, I wouldn't be with that person. I do care about other people and their problems, but with my significant other's problems, things get elevated to another level.

When is the last time that you were able to lie down on someone's bed and bitch about all the problems in your life, and have that person give you useful feedback because they really do care about you? And you do this, you bitch and vent because you've given that person all the trust you can possibly dole out.

You Down?

Play me your favorite songs. Then I'll play mine, and we'll battle. Let's battle through other people's music. hahahaha

Time Space Continuum

Musical intolerance is just as bad as religious or sexual intolerance, we just don't know it yet.

This I'm 99 percent sure of. hahaha

Powerhouse

"I'm gonna have to just go ahead and call this boy.
Hello? Can I speak to -- to Michael?
Oh hey, how you doin?
Uh, I feel kinda silly doin' this,
But um, this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox
You know, the one with the braids?
Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time
You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think
And you always order the special, with the hot chocolate
And my manager be tripping and stuff
Talking bout we gotta use water
But I always use some milk and cream for you
Cause I think you're kinda sweet.
Anyway you always got on some fly blue suit
'n your cufflinks are shining all bright
So, whatchu do? Oh, word? Yeah, that's interesting
Look man, I mean I don't wanna waste your time but
I know girls don't usually do this,
But I was wondering if maybe we could get together
Outside the restaurant one day
Cause I do look a lot different outside my work clothes
I mean we could just go across the street to the park right here
Wait, hold up, my cell phone's breakin up, hold up
Can you hear me now? Yeah
So, what day did you say?
Oh yeah, Thursday's perfect, man:."
And it feels like oooo

I miss having these kinds of awkward/shy/"omg i can't believe im saying this" kind of conversations with someone. I always thought they were soooooo much fun haha

Latin

A lot of great thoughts go through my head throughout the course of the day; many of them come flashing into my head, chill for a second, then as quickly as they came, they're gone.

A perfect segue to a quote that's been stuck in my head lately; "Write it all down as it happens, because eventually you become numb to it."

As we are constantly changing, we like to think that we'll never forget the way we felt, the things we saw, the smells we smelled. Unfortunately, we'll only remember a select few things, so as they happen, I highly recommend keeping track of your thoughts. That, along with spurring good, quality conversation, is one of the main goals of this here blog.

Leaving

They say to follow the greats. Follow their mold because they succeeded. No matter how obscure or odd their route, they succeeded in the end.

I think I would keep in mind what the greats did to get to where they did, but I would rather follow what my favorites did to get where they did. The greats may have taken a route and that particular path led them to success, but I wouldn't much enjoy emulating their route. I would much rather take what my favorites had done, mix it all together in a pot, and allow that mixture to be my guide to success.

Feel the Lows Before the Highs

I never realized how often and how violently my mood will change in the course of a day, sometimes even with an hour. It never occurred to me that I might possibly be bipolar. Usually my moods will transition so smoothly that I can barely make out the difference.

I'm currently struggling with fighting to stay with a mood that I felt happy and content with. My body, heart, mind and soul are fighting for a change, while I want to remain in this happy place of mine.

I know the right thing to do is to allow this change to happen. If I don't, then I'll be caught in a conflict with myself, resulting in confusion and a lowering of my overall mood. I need to allow this change to happen, because trying as hard as I am to stay in this mood is ruining the organicness(I just coined that term right now) of the feeling. This results in a false feeling of contentedness(damn im just pushing it now lol) and rarely results in anything good.

I know I need to allow this unwelcome mood in, but I'm trying my hardest not to. My actions aren't following my intentions, and it's confusing the hell out of me.

Unless I had to

A person I hold near and dear to my heart was quoted as saying something along the lines of "Ryan would tell you the truth, ask him."

I know it's not a very exciting quote, but the fact that I was able to gain that person's trust, enough that they would undoubtedly recommend my say on something speaks wonders about the kind of things they saw in me. I wonder if I'm still the same person today that I was then? I doubt so, seeing as everyone changes over time, even if it's ever so subtly. But I really do hope that I never lose some of those vital traits that I would like to have define me as an individual.

Karma

Dear Alicia Keys,
Thank you for making phenomenal music that I can listen to on repeat. I let your music wash over my mind and resonate in my soul, and for those few moments, I escape reality.

I think it's crazy how someone that I've never met before(and in all likelihood, will never meet) could touch me so deeply. It's not even like I gave them permission to penetrate my soul; their music is so powerful and deep that it demands that I allow it into me.

This works for all artists, but this Alicia Keys character is just blowing my mind away at the moment. hhahaha

"You'd Have to Be There to Understand!"

I felt compelled to express to the whole facebook community the love that I feel for Jan Eric Sales, Jherie Erdelyi, Anna Atangan, Nikki Estanol, and Angel Parker. But I thought that it seemed kinda wack to tell all of my facebook friends. I feel that it'll be a little more personal to include them, if only for one post, in my personal blog. So this blog is dedicated to the love that I feel for each of these individuals. I heart all of you, if only for the unique experience that we had tonight.

Unthinkable

The song "Unthinkable" by Alicia Keys is hitting me right in the motherfuckin chops. I don't have words to describe how this song is affecting me. It feels like things are coming around full circle.

Look to the Future

Holy moly, these individuals have me feeling like I'm playing catch up. Time to get off my high seat and get to work.

A Minor Mistake

Note to self: when looking for pea coats, choose the size wisely. You're supposed to pick the smallest size you can get away with. smh, lol.

A Scorpio's Mind

My most prized possession is your girlfriend's heart.

Teach you how to do this, son.

LOL

Tell You Something Part 2

One of the best things you can do in your lifetime is to be the best person you can be. There are many things entailed in that, and it depends on what you want to do and what your values are.

One of the things that you can do to go above and beyond that is to take all that and share it with someone else. One of the best ways to do this is to fall in love. Take everything that you've learned and picked up on throughout your lifetime, and share it with that special someone.

Another great thing to do with your life is to find a way to positively affect a great amount of people. If you could progress the entire human race, that's extra points.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Die, cross your t's and dot your i's

The best medicine is laughter, physical activity, and art.

Lovers and Friends

People who drive nice cars/trucks get a lot of attention and compliments. However, behind the wheel of every car is a person. The car they drive doesn't say much, if anything, about the person behind the wheel.

Same goes for fashion. Someone who dresses nice is often given a better first impression than someone who may not be dressed as nice. However, the person who is dressed nicely can be a total dick, while the person who isn't dressed as nice can be a great person.

Really obvious stuff, but nonetheless, I see instances everyday where this stuff isn't kept in mind.

For example, today in lecture, I overheard a conversation between two dudes; let's call them Jimmy and Timmy.

Jimmy asked Timmy if he knew a guy named Kanye. Timmy replied, "Hell yeah i know Kanye, he drives a nice ass car."

This killed me, because for all I know, Kanye is a great guy, and all Timmy had to say, the first thing that came to mind, was the car that Kanye drove. It wasn't how great a guy Kanye was, or how funny he was, but how nice his car was, that came to mind.

I would haaaaaaaaaaate to have the car I drive or the clothes I wear as the first thing someone mentions about me when I come up in a conversation.