Lol :)

I'm lying down on my couch, singing and listening to music while playing around with my stupid dog. I look over to my left, and my mom is curled up, reading a textbook about food science, something she needs to read in preparation for something at her work on Monday. This spurs quite a couple of thoughts and feelings from me; most of it anger that I struggle so much, reading even a page out of my textbooks, while my Mom has her career set and she seems to be enjoying reading out of her textbook. But part of me is laughing at the little bit of irony of the situation.

The admiration and respect I feel for my Mother is refreshed.

question

Does progressive=radical? Does radical=progressive?

the worst part about waking up

sick, is that I can't sing taking back sunday songs to the reaches of my heart's content. LOL

Damn

I've gone through such an insane amount of emotions in the past hour, it's crazy. I've felt really humbled, scared, apologetic, sad, mad, disappointed, happy, joyful, angry, and a couple more I'm sure. Sadly, I don't have anything to show for it other than my acknowledgment that I had, in fact, felt these strong feelings and emotions. Hopefully I'll have more to show for it next time this kind of thing comes around.

An Ode to 50's Fashion

I hate to admit it, but I have a soft spot, a vulnerability if you will, for romantic comedies. Especially ones that are accompanied by good songs/soundtracks.

hip hop

One thing I notice from people that I know that I would consider "hip hop heads" is that they have many similar traits. One of my favorite traits about them is a better consciousness about many aspects of life. I'm pretty sure this can be attributed to some levels of hip hop that can definitely be labeled as "conscious hip hop." This is one of the many great things that come from listening to hip hop. However, I see a couple of things that go awry with a few of my hip hop head peers.

One thing that i see that goes wrong is when hip hop heads follow their artists' beliefs, word for word. The conscious lyrics in some hip hop artists' songs have some great meanings in them, but are definitely not always right. This allows for some people to follow some pretty bad trains of thought.

Don't get me wrong, I love to follow some of the words that my artists say, but I make sure I run those thoughts against my personal bullshit filter. Most of it makes it through fine, but I never allow for anyone's beliefs to soak into my belief system without properly running it through my bullshit filter.

I learn a lot about how I feel about matters by comparing my beliefs with others, including artists that I look up to. I'm sure you do too. Just make sure you don't follow everything word for word; compare their beliefs to yours, and pick and choose where you want to change up your beliefs. I'm all for following the same beliefs that your idols have. Just make sure that your bullshit filter is working in tip top shape though.

stuck

Should I study or devote the next hour or so to (insert random hobby here)?

I'm often caught in these kinds of dilemmas. Obviously, the responsible thing to do would be to suck it up and study. However, it's not very often that I'm loose enough to do some things such as freestyle, so if I ever get time to, and am loose enough to freestyle, I cherish every second of that time.

I'm often caught in these kinds of dilemmas, and it gets very troubling sometimes. Do I sacrifice my study time for some downtime? I find myself needing a lot of time to relax and wind down from all the stress and pressure in my life, and I almost never hesitate when presented with the choice between winding down and having fun(like playing a simple video game) and being responsible and doing homework. I feel like playing whatever video game I'm into at the moment helps me keep my sanity, allowing me to relieve some stress and keep my sanity.

If I were to study, I feel like it would contribute to the stress that i already feel, whereas playing a video game or (insert random hobby here) would help relieve that stress. Obviously, i choose the latter more often than not, and it helps me keep my sanity imo. However, it also has consequences, namely hurting my education.

I'm often torn in these dilemmas. School is definitely a major part in these dilemmas, but the dilemmas definitely aren't limited to school. I can only hope to one day develop a healthy balance between these two. I hope to one day be able to handle these situations better, to pick the better option each and every time. Then again, is there a better option? Both options have their pros and cons.

I feel like my head is gunna 'asplode.

I Bet

Soon as we get started makin love goin harder
I hear a.. (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
and as soon as i go deep getting it in then again theres a..
(knock knock) knocking on the wall,
Girl your legs keep shakin,
I swear we breakin our new headboard
(headboard)
and the love we make it
Feels so good girl you know im proud
Lookin in your lovley face
scream my name you do it so loud

I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
I bet the neighbors know my name
my my my...

Take this pillow right here (grab this)
and i know youre so excited
If you bite it they wont hear
and you know juss what we capable of,
When we makin love
So the music gone be loud,
You gone scream and shout
Girl your bodys a problem,
They call me the problem solver
Let phone sit on the charger,
It could ring all night
They can call, they can knock,
and be upset, but i bet

I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin, scratchin, yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
I bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
I bet the neighbors know my name
my my my...

while i be bangin on yo body, they be bangin on our wall
while they dreamin, you be screamin now they bangin on our door
sometimes she call me trey, sometimes she say tremaine
when its all said and done bet the neighbors know my name
sometimes she call me trigga
cause i make her body bust
they might think my name is "oh sh-", i make her cuss

I bet the neighbors know my name
way you screamin scratchin yellin,
bet the neighbors know my name
they be stressin while we sexin
i bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
i bet the neighbors know my name
neighbors know my name
i bet the neighbors know my name
way you screamin scratchin yellin,
bet the neighbors know my name
they be stressin while we sexin
i bet the neighbors know my name
(my name my name)
i bet the neighbors know my name
my my my

the way you scream my name (the way you scream my name)
woah
girl the love we make (girl the love we make)
gone keep on bangin on the wall,
but nothings gonna change
i bet the neighbors know my name

Emblica Officinalis

Writing lyrics definitely isn't as simple as it looks. You would think that it's as simple as "look, there's a bag of rice, let me eat with with some chicken and spice," but it definitely isn't. You've got to take time to develop your thoughts and develop what you really want to say, what you want to talk about. When you create art, you want to be true to yourself while creating the art, and it's such a struggle, because nothing is ever good enough that it could possibly represent yourself.

I could definitely see why some artists get crazy writer's block.

I Feel

pressure, but it's not a negative pressure. I don't see any pressure as negative, only positive.

I never fear a challenge. I only fear dying before I get the chance to try.

Life isn't easy.

Be yourself. As corny as that sounds, when you're really honest, when you're really being you, it's undeniable. Honesty in life is rare.

Study great people and work at it. Denzel Washington still takes acting classes to this day. You can never be perfect or the best. You can always get better. It's all about studying the game and understanding it all.

I don't understand it all yet. I'm still willing to grow. I'm still studying and still learning.

yesterday

I was with a couple of my friends, shopping at target. My friend ended up taking a bike off of the rack and riding it around the store. I shrugged it off, thinking it was really funny and cool. I personally wouldn't do it because I was a little scared of the consequences(no matter how little they might be). I don't think I was really scared of the consequences, I just didn't want to go through the bs that would ensue should I have to face consequences. Anyway, my friend handed the bike over to me and pretty much peer pressured me to ride it around. Not only was I not looking forward to any consequences, but I hadn't ridden a bike in years, so I was definitely hesitant to take the handlebar from him.

I ended up riding around for a couple of minutes, and those few minutes were some of the happiest minutes I've had in a while. It felt so liberating, not only going against social norms, but enjoying something as simple as riding a bike with my friends. I felt so good that I got a little woozy and my mind started blanking out on me. I was fine, but I was astonished at how much fun I was having from such a simple endeavor.

It's these moments that I live for. I can only hope that my future is laden with many more experiences like that one.

wooooo

just say yes not no,
the club is overrated baby lets not go,
lets stay home and burn a couple calories,
fuck the house up and make the maid earn her salary,
yeah I cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast,
they say that nobodies perfect but you look perfected,
i'd really love to be the one you took a step with,
so trust me when I tell you it’d be worth the effort

Saadiq

The place love used to be
Is still a part of me
And I'm so fortunate lady
That you still need a piece of me
And I know that you're waiting
See I'm only downtown
You know I roll alone girl
I'm never with a crowd

I hope they never find out, what they already know, know, know

I wanna go wild'n out like this

My Worst Attribute

When dealing with matters of the past, it's bad to dwell too much on one thought. Dwelling on one thought often leads to overthinking the issue and stressing too much over something that often isn't that big of a deal.

However, it isn't bad to think long and hard about something, especially when done with the right intentions. It's healthy to think long and hard about matters of the past; it's how we develop our values and feelings towards those matters.

I'm often attributed with overthinking matters. My peers say that I worry too much about things that don't deserve much thought. They're probably right some of the time(I would say maybe 1 out of 3 times). I personally think that I keep a decently reasonable ratio between dwelling and overthinking versus a healthy amount of thinking things over.

Don't be afraid to think about matters of the past. As long as you keep in mind what is bad about dwelling on a subject and keep your intentions geared towards growing from those past experiences, all that thinking is healthy for you. Don't forgo thinking deeply about a matter because you're afraid of dwelling on it. I know that I'm constantly keeping myself in check on this matter. Hopefully you are too.

RAWR

My favorite cougar: Michelle Beadle. ohmaigawddddddddddd

Better in Time

I don't know nearly as much as I think I do, nor do I know as much about as many things as I think I do. I've come to the conclusion, not that I don't know shit, but I need to be careful about what I feel like I know for sure, to be more humble about there being a chance that, no matter how deeply I feel about a matter, that there's a possibility that I could be completely wrong.

Apologetic

A good apology has three parts. (a) I am sorry, (b) it was my fault, (c) how do I make it right. Most people neglect the third part and fail to demonstrate sincerity.

Everybody's a Critic

Be careful who you seek for advice, for everyone thinks that they know everything about everything. The fact that you sought them for advice puts them up on a pedestal and they assume that that allows them to assume that they are 100% correct in whatever you seek them out for.

Mushy Love Song

On our first date
We went to Denny's
We saw my grandma there and
She said she liked your spiky hair
I was so shy
'Cause you are such a handsme guy
I liked you all that time and
And now you really are mine

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song

We had the time
We watched t.v. and played K.I.
You are my very best friend
Your dad got a new job and then
You moved away
My car broke down on my birthday
You told me it would be alright
I had to stay the night

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song

Oh, oh, oh
But then you moved across the country
Oh, oh, oh
It's for the best but I'm still selfish me
And we're both sitting all alone
Now I am sitting all alone

We'll make it through
'Cause you love me and I love you
Even though we're eight states apart
I hold you close in my heart

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love

Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy...
Love...
Song

yeahhhh

with this cold weather, comes cuddling season. HOLLA! lollllllll