Tonight's Aspirations

Forever

2012-02-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is about Whitney Houston's death, but this is the saddest I've been about a person dying who I never met personally. Her voice and songs remind me of my childhood. The subject matter of her songs are so strong and her voice just made those subjects so much more real to a 8 year old who had no fuckin idea what love is.

So many of her songs were staples of my childhood. Long car rides, elementary talent shows, cheesy video montages. Crazy how someone who I've never met before, let alone gotten to know, has affected my life so deeply

Never Wanna Act My Age

2012-02-08T12:25:00.001-08:00

I think I'd be an absolute slut

You Will Find Me

2012-02-07T15:38:00.001-08:00

How dope would it be to be a 2 man band with your wifey?

Your Heart Beats With Precision

2012-02-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

As much as masculinity tells us we're too manly to ever cry
As much as femininity tells us we should cry, but not too often

It's healthy to cry. Crying shows a breakdown, an overwhelming flood of emotions. It's okay to break down every once in a while.

It's okay to break down and cry when your dog dies. It's okay to tell your Mom you love her and end up weeping.

That being said, I haven't cried in a longgggggg time

You Was Made In Paris

2012-02-07T12:20:00.001-08:00

People are very opinionated about music and sports because their taste in those things are something that only they control. Some of the most vocal & opinionated people I've met have been people who don't have much control over other aspects of their life

Take That Body Downtown

2012-02-01T13:31:00.001-08:00

Part of me thinks, "Cmon man, you're 21. You can hang out with a girl 1 on 1 without thinking about things getting sexual."

Another part of me thinks, "Cmon man, you're 21. Stop acting you don't have a sex drive. It's okay to think about a girl sexually."

Say it If You're Scared

2012-01-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

There are so many benefits to writing down random ideas that run through your head. I'll have the RANDOMEST ideas at the most random times. Often times I'll sit there and think, "damn, that's a dope ass idea." I try my hardest to write those things down because they have value.

You've got to write it down somehow before it gets away. I don't even know how many times I've thought about something dope, only to have it escape me mere minutes later.

Some of these things are stupid in nature and end up on twitter. Others are more serious and end up here on this blog. If it feels dangerous, risky, and makes me nervous, it'll wind up here.

Oedipus

2012-01-27T09:11:00.000-08:00

Man, the shit I would write for a song about my Mom.

Random, but I wish there was a way to embed mp3s from my itunes. These youtube rips are always shitty, lol

Got it On His Chest

2012-01-26T13:53:00.000-08:00

Normally I hate these types of personalities, but since he's leading my favorite club, I guess it'll pass......

This says something about ingroup-outgroup bias. If this dude was on ANY other team, I wouldn't be a fan at all. Since he's on my team, however, I excuse his negative personality traits

You Hate the Fact that You Bought the Dream

2012-01-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

You know how it seemed like everyone on facebook hated each change that facebook made? It seemed like everyone had a status about how bad each and every change was, and how much better it was back in the day.

I wonder if they really would prefer to have facebook revert back to the layout it had in say, January 2009. Like if we did an experiment and had a small sample of facebook users have their entire facebook experience reverted back to the old layout, would they really report that they like it better than the current layout?

On My Way Home

2012-01-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

My Mom is weary of showing me direct affection. She never returns my hugs and never tells me she loves me (even when I tell her I love her first).

I don't think I have any ill psychological effects because of this lack of affection. It just goes to show that there's different definitions and degrees of love and affection.

Take Care

2012-01-24T20:05:00.001-08:00

This Feeling I Would Give to You

2012-01-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

I'm finding myself making more and more mature, grown ass decisions. I see this when I look at my dating life. If you asked me 2-3 years ago(hell, probably even as recently as a year ago), I would've told you that I'd date any girl who's remotely interested in me. "Fuck it, I'm young. I need to go out and see what kind of girls are out there," is what I'd say. I'd get with any girl, regardless of whether or not I saw myself with them in a long term relationship.

What did I have to lose? I had/have always been someone who others accused of overthinking. My ex was adamant about me needing to "think less and just do," whatever the hell that means.

So I went on dates with some questionable women. I knew going into these dates that the chances were slim that I'd want to get into a relationship with them. But hey, you never know until you try, right?

Following the date, we'd go our separate ways and everything was fine, no real harm done. But I would leave feeling empty. What the fuck was I doing going on these pointless dates that didn't tell me anything I didn't already know?

Fast forward to a couple nights ago. I had a conversation with a close friend and I found myself admitting that nowadays I need much more than superficial traits. Instead of going for any girl who's interested in me, I'm waiting out to see what they have to bring to the table. Gone are the days when I could look past the fact that a girl wasn't intelligent. Gone are the days when I didn't mind if a girl didn't have goals.

Now I won't even entertain the idea of going on a date with a girl if I feel like I can't have a great conversation with her. I know it goes against the man code; I'm supposed to take every opportunity to get pussy I can get. But I'll be damned if I go through another one of those awkward dates again. And with me being someone who catches feelings easily, hooking up isn't the most feasible option for me.

I'm left meeting different girls and evaluating them for reasons beyond "damn she has a nice rack" or "my god, look at that ass ass ass ass." Now I wanna know if she is fond of learning new things. I wanna know if she likes to travel. I wanna know what she's passionate about.

The depth of how much I wanna know about a girl is so much more than it used to be. And I think that this is a mark of maturity that I can definitely get behind.

Bring Your Body

2012-01-14T10:10:00.001-08:00

Some of the BEST reads I've ever come across can be found here. I can't help but be a goddamn dickrider

I'm Here to Piss People Awf

2012-01-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

In both soccer and football,
In both futból and American football,

we're seeing rule changes that go a long way towards player safety. In fútbol, tackles with both feet up and studs up are receiving red cards. In football, tackling form is heavily scrutinized and incorrect tackling form can carry hefty fines along with suspension.

I love it because we need to worry about the lives and well-being of the athletes we deify. Old school sports fans might pine for the old days of yesteryear, where one could take another's head off and chalk it up as sheer will and determination, but in 2012, with all the science and information we have, we have no choice but to go the safe route.

Don't get me wrong; I love a hard hit just as much as the next guy. But if it comes at the risk/expense of a man's health and well-being, then that's where you lose me. I love watching these players do their thing too much to have their careers cut short by injury. More than that, these are normal people who have families, friends and interests to look after.

It's a change that I'm glad is happening.

Buck With it

2012-01-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

I have the most embarrassing emails and screen names. Most of them are from middle school or early high school. I really wanna update them and whatnot but I'm just not creative enough/too picky to find an email that I like.

Real usernames/emails that I've used in the past:

tigobitties619
Man a titties08
Oh Yeah 619
dafreak172002@yahoo.com
imwinningitall619@yahoo.com

Perhaps the funniest thing out of all of this is my mom hijacked my dafreak172002@yahoo.com email around 2007 and hasn't given it back. She's never changed emails and insists on sticking with dafreak172002@yahoo.com. I've begged and pleaded with her but she's insistent and stubborn. She uses it all the time, sometimes in professional matters. It's embarrassing as hell but it's a testament to my Mom's stubbornness and unwillingness to change

Don't Make Me Make You Fall in Love

2012-01-11T17:09:00.000-08:00

Kanye-Love Lockdown

Beach House-Norway

The Weeknd-The Birds Part 1

Three Songs with marching drums but they each mean entirely different things to me

Double Triple Team

2012-01-10T21:59:00.001-08:00

I'm so spoiled to have grown up with this guy

Don't Be Nervous I Got You

2012-01-08T04:45:00.001-08:00

A guy and a girl sitting together, eating lunch. The girl looks pretty as hell

Jack Off Knock Out That's the Motto Brother JOKO

2012-01-08T04:45:00.000-08:00

guys masturbate because they're sex crazed perverts.
Women masturbate because men are idiots and can never satisfy a woman.
At least, this is what I've learned from the TV.

Good Morning

2012-01-07T17:47:00.001-08:00

The dopest nights are when one friend brings pizza and and a 6-pack to another friend's place

Don't Let Me Get in My Zone

2012-01-07T11:06:00.001-08:00

Kanye and Jay-Z performed "Niggas in Paris" at least 5 separate times each show during the Watch The Throne concert series. That's the kind of shit that I would do in my art. Cuz fuck you, that's why

I Thought I Was the Asshole

2012-01-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

One of the most successful people watching sessions I've had

Uh Oh I Did It Again

2012-01-06T18:13:00.001-08:00

Don't Preach to Me

2012-01-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

It's easy to push the pushover. I have more respect for the person who'll bully around a stubborn person than the person who takes joy in pushing over a pushover

Bitch Trick Ho

2012-01-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

Someone who's hard to anger. I don't get angry very easily and I need a girl who won't get angry easily either. Lord knows it's hard to be angry around me anyway, lol.

Someone who isn't a control freak

Someone who is competent, capable, efficacious

Not
It's okay when she fucks up, but when other people fuck up, she's the first to criticize

Don't Pretend You Didn't Know

2012-01-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

Some hip hop heads complain that their genre doesn't translate well to live shows, but when their favorite artists transition into catering to live shows, they complain that the artist "sold out." You can never make people happy. But you knew that Ryan, you silly goose

You're the Same Old Song

2012-01-02T06:07:00.002-08:00

I'm cocky as hell. I'm really good at many different things. I also like to think that I'm humble as hell. But does that make me cocky, thinking that I'm awesome at humility? I don't like to talk about these things because I end up sounding like one of two things:

A cocky motherfucker who could use a lesson in humility
or
An unconfident chap who could use a lesson in self-worth

I'm competent as hell. My self-efficacy is on a hundred thousand trillion. There are still many things that I'm terrible at. There are still many things that I wish I was better at.

As a result of all this, I don't think people realize just how good I am at many different things.

Potential Could Never Last This Long

2012-01-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

I'm fortunate that throughout my life, I've been afforded the opportunity to grow and develop many different skills. I've seen many of my peers be held back. They've been sheltered, not allowed to learn and grow by themselves. It was justified by their oppressors using the same excuses; "you're too young to understand," "you've never done it before and I just want it to be done right," "you're not responsible enough." I was left to handle things myself and to learn from my mistakes. Some of my peers weren't allowed to make those same mistakes and as a result, are still developing and honing a bunch of skills.

I see this contrast when in a group. Let's say we're making our way across town using the metro. I know for a fact that I can lead the group to our destination with no problem. I can read a map and I know how to get on a train, get off at my stop, cross onto another train and all that jazz. I'll gladly take the responsibility and lead us across town. But if I see someone who might have never read a map or led a group towards a destination, I'd prefer to let them shine and try to get us to where we need to go. I feel no need to prove myself to anyone; I know what I'm capable of.

It's worth more to the person who's still learning to get across town that they get their chance to shine than it is to me, knowing damn well that I'll get us to our destination no problem. I see no need for me to show off or display my skills when this experience can be infinitely more influential for my peer

There's Just Something That I Need From You

2012-01-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

I have a great sense of direction. I always know where my exit strategy would be if some crazy shit went down and I needed to break out of whatever location I'm at. I attribute this to years of video games. I can read a map and have a great sense of direction. I can't believe all these years of video games has helped me in such a practical way

Ride It Out

2012-01-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

We've got to get away from ethnocentricity. Every person across every culture has family, emotions, feelings, desires, wants, needs. We're more alike than we are different

If You Wanna Go Again

2012-01-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the Louvre, pissed off cuz my feet were sore from walking around so damn much. The Louvre is huge as fuck. Sitting there in Napoleon's quarters, all alone, no one within 50 yards of me. Maybe they were all looking at the Mona Lisa.

There are little patches of space where you get to be alone. That's huge when all you know is tight, compact, and overpopulated spaces

Summer Breeze Steady Keepin Us Up Up Up

2011-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

The Mount Woodson Trail at Lake Poway

We Can't Be Livin Like This For the Rest of Our Lives

2011-12-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

Europe Trip
Dec 19 leave 8:30 pm
Dec 20 – arrive London 2:50 pm, can do some of the places below maybe
Dec 21 – London – hop on hop off bus tour(26 pounds), Buckingham Palace, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Tower of London. Westminster Abbey, British Museum
Dec 22 – more of London (from above)
Dec 23 – London St. Pancras Station - Train to Paris 10:24 AM, arrive 1:47 PM –
Stay at Novotel Paris Vaugirard Montparnesse, 257 Rue De Vaugirard, - Eiffel Tower, Louvre Museum, Arc de Triomphe, Versailles Estate
Dec 24 – Paris – more from list above or hop on hop off bus for 29 Euro, get car in PM
Dec 25 – Christmas, everything closed, drive through Switzerland, stop at Lausanne, to Milan
Dec 26 – Drive Milan to Venice, drop car in Venice – Hotel ai Mori d’Oriente, Fondamenta della Sensa, Venice, 3319
Dec 27 – Venice – St Marks Basilica and bell tower, Doge’s Palace, Lace Museum for MAB(Musea del Merletto) , La Fenice Theater audio tour, St Marco Square, Correr Museum, Rialto Bridge, Gondola Ride 80 Euro!
Dec 28 – Venice- boat to Murano (glass) and Burano (lace) – maybe night train to Rome?
Dec 29 – Rome – stay Atahotel Villa Pamphili, Via Della Nocetta 105
Vatican, Pantheon, Colosseum, St. Peter’s Basilica
Dec 30 – Tour to Pompeii maybe, if you want, return to Rome
Dec 31 – Tour of the Vatican
Jan 1 – Leave Rome 11:55 AM

I hope that this trip will serve as just a taste of what Europe/the rest of the world has to offer. I want to come away from this trip thinking "fuck, I need to get up, get out and do something."

Fuck All the Discrete Shit

2011-12-14T04:22:00.000-08:00

I'm so lucky that the wisest person in my life is my mom. Not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who are involved AT ALL in their life

We Don't Need No Protection

2011-12-14T02:59:00.000-08:00

It's easy to say that you're an original, non-conformist who isn't afraid to like things that aren't mainstream or popular. But if the things you do like are widely accepted, then you really aren't taking much of a risk.

It takes more courage to openly admit that you love Soulja Boy than it takes to admit that you love Slum Village. Admitting to loving Soulja Boy will get you absolutely slandered in some circles. I can't think of any circles that openly hate Slum Village

I Strive to Be Live

2011-12-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

I balk before diving into a pool

I Can't Do This No No No

2011-12-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

The person who is most eager to speak first in a conversation/debate is often the one who is less knowledgable on the situation. A real wise and knowledgable person is content to let the other person eagerly spill their cards first, because they know that they really have control of the situation. The person who can't wait to get their thoughts out on the matter knows that they need to get their words out first because they need to show just how much they know. The more knowledgable person will wait it out and listen to the other persons' entire spiel, confident that they can respond in a smart and logical manner.

I often see this in sports talk. Whenever I'm in a conversation about basketball, there's inevitably one person in the convo who HAS to be the first one to speak, eager to display just how much they know about the game. They'll go on and on for 5 minutes, talking about this and that. They end their rant, content that everyone in the conversation knows that they know a lot about basketball.

I'm on the receiving end, listening without interruption, noting each talking point that interests me. I sit there, confident that not only do I understand the point they're making, but I also know the counter argument. Most of the time, I can't even get 10 words into the counter argument before the other person decides that they've had enough; they don't want to hear what I have to say so they interrupt my train of thought and make some small point. I sit there, astonished by the fact that they were so adamant about me not making my point that they had to stop me. I sense that I struck a nerve, so I decide not to pursue any further. Now we're both sitting there, awkward as fuck

Climb a Mountain But Tell No One You Did It

2011-12-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

Everyone accomplishes great things. However, not everyone handles those accomplishments the same ways.

I think it's best to accomplish great things and not tell a soul that you did it. One shouldn't do things with the goal of telling everyone about it; instead, one should accomplish great things and tell no one. Do things for the sake of doing them, not to tell other people.

You got an A on your midterm? That's great! You deserve to reward yourself.

The way you reward yourself is important, though. I think it's best to be humble about it and act like you do it all the time, instead of needing everyone to know how great you are because you did something great today. Instead of telling everyone, tell your best friend. Tell your girlfriend. Don't tell everyone on facebook so you can get recognition. An average person will need everyone to recognize and acknowledge their greatness; an excellent person will receive that recognition without having to tell everyone to acknowledge them

We Obviously Need to Tone It Down a Bit

2011-12-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

Not the most scientific of studies, but this is hilarioussssssss

That's When We'll Settle Up the Score

2011-12-07T23:45:00.000-08:00

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - The Roots: The OtherSide (12/6/11) - Video - http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com

I really wanna be a drummer

Also, I wonder if I could pull of these all black outfits with black gloves. Drake, Black Thought, im sure countless others pull it off. I think I'd look like a wannabe thug lolllll

And It Don't Stop

2011-12-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I wish I was ODing on cocaine or some other hardcore drug and just flipping the fuck out. I'd be bumping some crazy, sadistic sounding music. Sort of like the ending to Requiem for a Dream. My life is too structured sometimes

With the Birds I Share This Lonely View

2011-11-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

Some people, maybe even most people, have the viewpoint that every one out there is out to exploit you. I feel like people who have this viewpoint must carry SUCH a burden. Not being able to trust people (and thus society as a whole) must lead to some scary personality traits.

Everybody Knows But Nobody Really Knows

2011-11-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

It isnt a scientist's job to win wars or win arguments; a scientist's job is to develop knowledge and to get us closer to the truth.

A scientist will gladly admit when she's wrong. A politician, however, is hellbent on public image and winning battles and wars.

I look for my friends to be more like scientists and less like politicians

Skeet Skeet Skeet

2011-11-27T13:36:00.000-08:00

Damn I wanna try this one day hahahaha

Youngest Fire

2011-11-25T14:55:00.000-08:00

Girls who need to be treated like princesses don't end up as functionally healthy members of society. They can't handle not getting what they want and that doesn't translate well into being a responsible, socially capable member of society.

Getting used to being treated like a princess leads one to expect a lot of things out of others that they simply don't deserve. I can't deal with women (and men, for that matter) who expect to be treated a certain way because they're self-centered, spoiled brats

What the Fuck It Take So Long For

2011-11-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

The dopest shit is when someone says that they hope the rest of your day is nice. Or when they ask you how your day was, and they completely mean it. Having someone important to me genuinely want to know how my day was gives me this incredible feeling that I can't even describe

Everyday is a Battle I Face

2011-11-25T14:42:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest things that gets to me is when I feel that I haven't been a good friend. I know without a shadow of a doubt that overall, I am a great friend. However, there are times, especially lately, that I feel that I've failed my friends. Whether it be not hanging out enough, not being there when I said I'd be, or just not being energetic, I know that I definitely haven't been entirely there for my friends.

Think Less But See It Grow

2011-11-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

I have no need to defend my taste in music (nor my taste in any kind of art) to anyone. Following the same logic, no one else needs to defend their taste in music. I like the music I like because I like the way it makes me feel (or for whatever arbitrary reason I like it) and that's the only thing that matters. Fuck you if you don't approve of my musical taste.

It's like all the music I listen to are guilty pleasures. I really don't care one way or another if you approve, I enjoy it so suck my cack and call me Sally.

For Gentlemen Only

2011-11-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

I think it's a mark of maturity to be able to accept that you live in a world where Justin Bieber, Soulja boy, or (insert artist whose music you dont like) exists.

Some people would have you believe that the world is going to end because people like Lil Wayne exist. They say how terrible things are and "wish things were how they were back then."

I don't understand the logic behind this because there's always been art that has been considered wack. It's existed back in the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and it still exists now. That's just a function of art. Not everyone is going to like every piece of art. Everyone has different tastes in art because it's all subjective.

So to complain about how bad things are and wish bad on people simply because they listen to or make art that you don't enjoy is very immature. We should be able to take a deep breath, realize that not everyone has the same taste in art, and keep it pushing.

Also, note that if this applies to the Soulja Boy and Lil Waynes of the world, it still has to apply to less controversial artists like Adele, Little Brother and A Tribe Called Quest.

Where Would You Go With a Lasso

2011-11-25T13:25:00.001-08:00

Circlejerking all over my music

So Sweetened, You're Doomed For A Well Garnished Life

2011-11-21T00:49:00.000-08:00

I used to look for girls who shared the same interests as me. I wanted a girl who likes the Lakers, Drake and first person shooters. That way, we could talk about the same things, compare our views on those things and all that cool stuff.

Lately, however, I've figured that it really isn't all that important to me that me and a girl have exactly the same interests. It's okay if she doesn't share the same love for AC Milan. She could have never watched a game of soccer for all I care.

I care more that she is willing to learn, that she wants me to tell her and teach her about everything I'm passionate about. She doesn't listen to Childish Gambino? That's fine, we can listen to his music together and hopefully she'll learn to love it. And even if she doesn't end up loving it, it doesn't have any bearing on whether or not she's a great girlfriend. Only thing that's different is now I know that I might have to skip his songs when we're playing my ipod in the car.

I think it'd be really cute, trying to get my girl into the same things that I'm interested in (and vice versa). It'd be really cool, teaching her all I know about the strong side zone defense. It'd be sooo cool, telling her what I think the Weeknd could be talking about in a particular song and what that song means to me.

I think it'd be even cooler for me to learn about what my girl is into. Seeing her talk so passionately about things she's interested in is always a HUGE turn on for me. I love to ask questions and get her thinking about things that she might have never thought about before. Taking the role of an ignorant student is something I love doing when I'm getting to know someone.

When Will it End, the Ride

2011-11-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

Too many women hide behind the idea that they are supposed to be emotional creatures. They ignore logic and reason and look at emotion as the only thing they should focus on.

On the other side of the coin, too many men don't put enough focus on their emotions, or look at their emotions in too much of a masculine sense.

We've got to get past these social constructions that tell us how to be manly or lady-like

I Don't Wanna Do It Right

2011-11-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

music is a collection of sounds that makes us feel one way or another.

whether or not an artist is a good live performer has no bearing on how much i enjoy listening to the studio version of their music

I'm the Same Dude

2011-11-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

"Be Ashamed to Die, Until You Have Scored Some Victory for Humanity." -Horace Mann

"I remain unconvinced that anything other than rapid decomposition is the fate of my body and mind after death." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

I Need Someone To Put This Weight On

2011-11-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

I see people who worry too much about being someone who gives good advice. This leads them to interrupt conversations with a need to interject every little tidbit of advice they have.

Instead, I think it's better to listen without interrupting. Have someone tell you a story and then lead the discussion in a way so that the other person figures out the best solution by themselves. Your job as a good listener is to guide their thought process so that they think in a way that leaves them in a healthy position. If they stray and start taking an unhealthy position, that's where you interject and point out why that might not be the best course of action. Other than that, you should encourage the other person to keep talking and to understand for themselves why or why not what they are doing is good.

Calm Down, You Found Me

2011-11-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

Long road trips by myself are the biggest high for me. Driving with my windows down, music blasting, mindlessly navigating my way through traffic gives me SUCH an escape from the stresses in my life.
In my car, music blasting, I can be frank ocean. I can be 2pac. I can be aristotle. I can be 5 year old me. I can be extremely proud of myself, and 10 minutes later be absolutely disappointed in myself. I can reminisce about the troubles I've had with girls. I can scheme out the ways I plan on getting at these future girls. I can yell til my lungs get sore.

I ain't shit

2011-11-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

She got me looking like a fucking gump. Got me checking my fucking NEWS FEED, refreshing every few minutes, hoping and praying she replied to my post. You're fucking pathetic ryan, you're pathetic

There's a Place We Can Visit If We Go Outside

2011-11-10T11:32:00.001-08:00

I remember back in the day, when I was maybe 6 or 7, when my dad would ask me “if bad guys came in and tried to kill us, what would you do?” I would respond by air-fighting, showing off the kung-fu and karate skills I picked up from watching Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That must’ve been the cutest sight ever.

Fuck These Backpackers

2011-11-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest reasons why I can't wait to get into another relationship is that whenever I get into one, I inevitably learn SO much about myself. They sort of act as a gauge of where I'm at in my life. I learn a lot about how I feel about different things. I can then turn around and look at how I felt about those same exact things years ago and look at my growth

Make Sure It Aint Wack

2011-11-06T01:12:00.001-07:00

I remember thinking "I miss the feeling of having a girl make me nervous." Now that it's happened, I really wish it never happened lol

Drop it to the floor

2011-10-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

At times I'm underrated. At times I'm overrated. I like to think that because of this, I'm perfectly rated. If anything, I'm average to above average, and that's okay.

Last Name is the Same

2011-10-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

When I browse the internet and see beautiful places in other countries that i've visited, i get this crazy surreal feeling. It makes me feel blessed to have taken in the surroundings. The view, the smells, the ambience. It makes me feel cool because I'm one of the few people I know who've taken in that experience.

On the other side of the coin, with that feeling comes a feeling of smugness. I feel so damn smug, thinking I'm in some way unique or cool because I've been somewhere or done something that other people haven't. I'm always trying to reshape my view on this. Instead of feeling smug because I've accomplished something others haven't, I try to act in a way that encourages others to feel the positive feelings I got when I first went through that experience

You Didn't Wanna Play Your Cards So Soon

2011-10-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

Do I listen to this dark, edgy music that might lead deeper into emo-ness and sadness or do I fake the funk and listen to spunky, upbeat music and try to get away from being in a bad mood?

Tener es Tuve, Estar es Estuve

2011-10-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

One of the things that scares me the most is dreading the day that I come out to my very religious mom and tell her that I'm atheist

Dangerous Street Corners

2011-10-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

When people ask me how I've been, I damn near always give them the same answer: "Shit, nothing much, just the normal shit. Nothing too big, what about you?" While it's true that I really don't have much going on other than school, I definitely have a lot to talk about; it's just that I choose to share those things with a VERY select few people in my life.

I'm so much more of a listener than a talker. Don't get me wrong; I can talk for days about certain subjects, but I very much prefer to listen to other people's opinions and thoughts on things. I know that there's many more people who are good at talking than people who are good at listening. I like to think that I'm in the latter. Knowing this, I try to fulfill my role as a "good" listener more than I try to fulfill my role as a talker.

Edit: (This was sitting in my drafts, waiting to be posted. I was gonna make this its own post but I think it fits in well with this one)

I'm not very vocal with my opinions and ideas. I'm very much content with listening to other people and their ideas. I think it's a great thing, to hold back on what I'm thinking and take the time to listen to people instead. Lord knows most people don't often have someone there to listen to what they have to say. I like to think that I fill a very useful niche in this way.

It blows my mind how much people have to say when you take the time to listen to them. Although it sometimes leaves me feeling like I want more people to listen to me and my feelings and ideas. I know I have a very easygoing, passive personality that might make it a little harder to sit down and listen to, but once you get past the wall I put up, I like to think that I'm a really interesting dude.

Crazy cuz back when I wrote this edit, I felt like I was unique in having this feeling. But after rereading it after all this time, I feel like everyone can relate to this feeling

I'd Reconsider My Foolish Notion

2011-10-18T11:01:00.001-07:00

I did this with my friends when I worked in a restaurant.

You Know How the Story Goes

2011-10-10T21:27:00.001-07:00

If I were an artist, I don't think I'd make my art for an audience. I'd make it solely for myself. So if someone were to tell me what to do with my art, I'd politely tell them to "fuck off, I'm not doing this for you."

Really Wanna Get to Know You

2011-10-08T03:52:00.000-07:00

i think i miss going on dates more than i miss sex. am i going crazy? lol

I Don't Want To Think This Through

2011-10-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

There are MANY girls who I find attractive. Damn near all of them(hell, right now its all of them lol) have one or more things about them that I find unattractive enough that I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. I feel that this presents the perfect situation for hooking up. I might not like a few things about a girl, but that would have no real effect on whether or not we could hook up.

But I'm not that kinda guy. I catch feelings much too easily to even entertain the idea of hooking up.

Is Pious Pious Cuz God Loves Pious

2011-10-05T00:29:00.000-07:00

I need a girl who I can trust to rub my head and assure me that I'm not a terrible person

He's Got a Strong Arm

2011-10-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

a real bro will put off getting pussy to play you in madden. LOL

You Know What's On My Mind

2011-10-04T00:37:00.001-07:00

the problem i have with the typical bachelor mentality is the way that it turns bros into competitive non-bros. two bros fighting over the same girl isnt cool at all. we're in this together bro!

Why Are You Trying to Control it

2011-10-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

its crazy how some of the memories and stories i thought were the most important to me only 3 years ago have been pushed aside by newer, more relevant memories. i thought that i'd never forget those times(and still maintain that), but nowadays i dont even worry about those memories anymore. instead of being relevant stories that i tell to anyone i meet, those stories have been set aside, relevant only for reminiscing and those nights of sharing and story telling

kiss me

2011-09-26T21:56:00.001-07:00

my acoustic guitar represents all the things i want to achieve

I See You Lookin at Me

2011-09-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

Band Rehearsal from MayerHawthorne on Vimeo.

Love this video. He sounds great live.

Btw, 500th post WOOTWOOT IMSOCOOLYEAH

its mr steal yo girl

2011-09-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

chillin at a party, talking to a female acquaintance. she adds me on facebook using my phone. dude comes over, assuming im choppin it up, getting her number. she introduces us and he gives me the fakest, emptiest smile ive ever seen. shit was craaaaaazy. he'd be perfectly casted as a douchebag on a teen rom-com.

that shit catches me off guard every time it happens (not that it happens very often, but you get the idea). if only dudes knew how much of a friend-zoner i am, lol

i cant see a very long way

2011-09-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think that i dont allow myself to get emotionally attached to too many things. i definitely feel emotions and understand why i feel these ways, but i havent cried in a long time. i dont put myself in positions that can potentially nuke me personally

My Art of War Will Leave You Sore From the Abuse

2011-09-18T17:51:00.001-07:00

"How's that soc degree working for you?"

OUCH

Caught Up

2011-09-16T22:10:00.001-07:00

Theres a time when listening to your emotions is the most logical decision you can make

Gotta Fix That Calendar I Have

2011-09-16T20:07:00.001-07:00

My schedule lately has been perfect. I've had just enough time to do what I want to do. I even had time to have a cute "Friends" marathon con mi mama. I can't help but appreciate the hell out of this

No Plan is Foolproof

2011-09-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Being a nice guy is a burden.

At times I feel like people act *differently* around me (i.e. *nicer*) around me because I'm generally a good natured guy. People who are normally jerks and assholes recognize that I'm a decent guy and reciprocate the positivity. However, I sometimes feels that this behavior is disingenuous.

One might say this is a good thing but in some cases I would prefer people to be more consistent with their behavior. (This makes sense because people crave and need consistency, not constant change and inconsistency.)

For example,
i cant tell if people burden themselves because they dont wanna be the guy who inconveniences "the nice guy."

im not a "good guy" so that i could receive these benefits; they're collateral damage of my outlook and behavior

my main reason for being such a well-natured guy is that i want to be a good guy. its an end in and of itself

I am a misanthrope

2011-09-05T02:14:00.001-07:00

I hate everyone

No rhyme or reason

2011-08-30T20:40:00.001-07:00

I am the king of friend zoning

Music snobs. Snobs in general

2011-08-30T20:39:00.001-07:00

Drive stick really well. Drove in a way that made good mileage. Had great grammar. Spoke well. Great opinions and ideas

i dont have to leave anymore

2011-08-26T15:10:00.001-07:00

im about to nut all over this final

It's As Natural As the Birds And the Bees

2011-08-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

Today I got a text from my uncle in the Philippines that my other uncle passed away.

I remember in 7th grade, a few weeks after my dad passed away, I was disinterested in school. I made an appointment with my school counselor not so much so I could talk to soemone about it, but just to have a reason to skip class.

I went into her office, feeling terrible about what I was doing. I told her my situation and told her "I think i'm okay." She broke down and cried, which led to me crying.

I just wanted an excuse to get out of class; what ended up happening was an entirely different story

I Chopped Some Onions

2011-08-24T17:56:00.001-07:00

Dennis Rodman 2011 Hall Of Fame Speech (VIDEO) by 3030fm

Where Are You Now

2011-08-24T17:55:00.000-07:00

Kettrell was a leader at the after school program i was in during my elementary school years. He served as a mentor to me and I learned a lot about many things from him. While my Dad was off on WestPac, doing his navy business, Kettrell was teaching me how to be a good person and a man. He taught me how to play chess, something that sounds really small but was actually a really big deal in my life.

don't take your love away

2011-08-16T23:36:00.001-07:00

starting my day thirsty, ending it simpin

So Many People Telling Me One Way

2011-08-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

"There is only one reason to break up a relationship, and that's if continuing the relationship makes you unhappy. Some people are unhappy without enough sex, some can manage, but if one part is unhappy, that's a good enough reason to leave."

I Think I Have an Inferiority Complex

2011-08-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

I've noticed two different personality modes I have. (I guess you can only have one personality, but you get the idea lol.) I have one where I'm very quiet, reserved and respectful. The other mode is where I'm very social, unfiltered and hilarious. I wish I could break out the latter more often.

What Time Do You Get Off? I Wanna See You Tonight

2011-07-30T06:08:00.001-07:00

Crazy how a seemingly trivial lyric can bring out such a strong emotion out of you. I love feelings like this

Repost

2011-07-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Facebook beezy

tip drill

2011-07-18T23:08:00.001-07:00

skip to 1:40 for a life changing tip

#toyotapreviaswag

2011-07-17T19:31:00.001-07:00

if you can watch this without smiling, you have no soul

worldtourawardtour

2011-07-17T10:33:00.001-07:00

i was here for this

ive gotta find a way to bring the passion back

2011-07-12T22:16:00.001-07:00

people confuse being a good flirt with being easy. guys and girls who are easy are often considered good flirts because they're more than willing to put themselves out there

you're like a whildphyre

2011-07-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

I used to have this mindset that I would never date a girl who I didn't find to be intelligent. If she didn't have great grammar, didn't know basic facts that most people should know, or carry herself in a respectable way, I just wouldn't fuck with her on any kind of level.

I think that its not about their intelligence anymore, its about their curiosity. They don't need to be the smartest person in the world, but if she's not a curious person who wants to know more and is actively pursuing more and more knowledge, I'm not fucking with her